Life forbids, Love forgives
by poppiam
Summary: When Kozik transfers to the Tacoma Charter and meets sassy and beautiful Ella, he has no idea what he is about to get himself into. Because getting too close to her could be very dangerous for Kozik and put everything he has in jeopardy...
1. A change is gonna come

**_CHAPTER I_**

**_- A change is gonna come -_**

"Great. Well done, Elle. Real smart. That's just all you needed today!" Ella groaned as she slammed the hood of her car shut. She had been fiddling with the engine for the last ten minutes but truth was she had no clue what she was doing. She let out a frustrated sigh as she looked at her watch, saw how late it was.

Ella took out her phone from her back pocket and wasn't surprised to see that she didn't have a signal. The area was isolated, out of the main roads and usually deserted. which was exactly why she loved to drive around here. Nothing but her and nature.

Of course, her beloved car would chose here and now to let her down in the middle of the nowhere with nothing in vicinity and no way to call for help!

It would be getting dark soon and she knew she'd probably be stranded her all night waiting for someone to drive by. She could already hear her father's comments about her stupidity and stubbornness at insisting to drive this rusted piece of sh*t of a car.

He had been nagging her for weeks now to replace it with a newer model but so far Ella had been able to fob him off. She loved that car. It was _her_ car. She had worked a whole summer at an ice cream parlor to buy that car. It had been her only mean of escape ever since.

"Might as well start walking." she sighed.

Just as she took out her purse to start the grueling journey home, she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle. She looked up and saw a muscular, blond guy hopped on a vintage Harley slow down a few yards from her.

As he took off his helmet, she couldn't help but _notice_ him. He was a little older than she was, late twenties, early thirties maybe. He stood at least a head taller, with unkempt blond locks. His clothing showed off a lean and chiseled body and arms riddled with tattoos. But the thing that Ella noticed most was his smile. He had a mischievous smile than ran all the way to his playful blue eyes. As he made his way towards her, she could tell he was very aware of his effect on women.

* * *

><p>Kozik had spotted the girl right away. It would have been hard not to. She was dashing. Although she wasn't at all like the girls, Kozik's typically went for, he was immediately attracted to her. With long black jet hair loosely pulled back in a high bun, high cheek bones on a perfect olive skin, full lips that seemed perpetually locked in a pout and a head held up high in pride, she had a certain allure about her.<p>

Her petite frame was revealed by short denim jeans showing off tanned legs over biker boots that made her sexy as hell. Not to mention the tattoo that went from the back of her neck and continued behind her white top. But her most striking feature was without a doubt her eyes. She had fierce, magnetic, piercing brown eyes that seemed to be looking straight into you.

Kozik spotted her checking his cut. _The leather never failed to impress_, he grinned to himself. "Need some help there darlin'?"

Ella rolled her eyes. "No, I'm just waiting around for some random biker to swoop me off my feet and call me darlin'." she replied with a smirk.

Not exactly the answer Kozik had expected. His smile rarely failed him. "You know, I can be on my way if you want."

She was about to answer, no doubt another snide retort but instead he watched her purse her lips and hold his stare. As much as she hated it, she knew she had no choice but to accept his help. She averted his eyes and her gaze fell on his cut again. Kozik tried his smile again. "I'm a mechanic."

"You don't say." she said with a smirk as he moved past her, way closer than necessary

He opened the hood of her car as she bent over to reach inside the car and Kozik couldn't help but check her out again. She was truly gorgeous. She was uptight but fucking gorgeous. She stood back and caught him eyeing her. She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed and lit a cigarette, taking a long well deserved drag as closed her eyes. From the moment she had heard the bike coming in the distance, she had known it would be a Son. That was just her luck. Worse than spending the night stranded here, or walking all the way home was probably the thought of being saved by one of those dicks who thought they could call every woman doll and smile their way into any panties.

He straightened up, scratching the back of his head. "Hey gorgeous, when was the last time you gave this car an oil change?"

By the clueless look on her face, Kozik guessed the answer was probably never. He shook his head amused. "Try it now."

She turned the ignition on , and although the engine coughed a few times, she finally heard the comforting sound of her car starting. She let out a sigh of relief and got back out.

"It should take you home but if I were you I'd get it checked out." he suggested, cleaning the grease of his hands." You know I could always fix it for you. Just give me your number; I'll call you with a quote." He said with a grin that had no doubt bought him a ticket into many girls beds.

"Wow, now that was subtle. You only flirt with girls you find on the side of the road or is it just a default setting?"

He took a step closer to her and Ella found herself overwhelmed by the sudden proximity, his tall body dominating her petite frame. "That wasn't flirting darlin'. Trust me, when I'm flirting with you, you'll know about it." he whispered in her ear. Before Ella could stop him, his hand was on her face rubbing her cheek.

"Grease" he offered by way of explanation.

In one smooth gesture, he took her cigarette from her hand. "Pretty girl like you shouldn't be smoking" he whispered with a wink before walking back to his bike.

Ella let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding when he called out to her.

"By the way, the name is Kozik!"

Ella rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask!"

"Now you don't have to." He gave her an annoying, self-satisfied smug before putting on his helmet and driving away.

* * *

><p>Kozik was still grinning when he pulled on the parking lot of the shooting range that was the Tacoma Charter headquarters. Maybe a new start here wouldn't be so bad after all. He took his helmet off and looked around. He'd already been here a few times when he had visited from Charming but this was different. He would now have to learn to call this place home. His thoughts were brutally interrupted by the sound of gunfire aimed at him, bullets flying and lending inches from his feet. He spun around only to see a familiar face holding a weapon Aimed right at him.<p>

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Kozik shouted when the man finally stopped firing.

"You're late."

_And you're a dick_ thought Koz' without saying it, knowing better than to insult the Tacoma killer. The man they called Happy walked to him and broke into one of his rare smile.

"Welcome brother." He said before pulling Kozik into a rapid hug. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Had to stop on the way, help some chick with her car."

Happy laughed. "Always chasing some tail, uh brother? Hope you at least tapped it?"

_Not even close_ thought Kozik but all he did as a response was laugh.

"Come on, everyone's been waiting for you.

* * *

><p>Ella let herself into the darkened house quietly. She took off her jacket to hang it and heard footsteps behind her.<p>

"Where have you been?"

Ella winced, biting her tongue not to come up with some smart*ss comment. Now was not the time.

"I lost track of time." she replied irritation in her voice. She turned around to face her father. His eyes were burning holes through her trying to get to the truth. She knew he didn't believe her, she wasn't one to "lose track of time". But she also knew he wouldn't challenge her now. He had to get to the shooting range and did not have time for her.

"Your mother had been asking after you."

He walked past her and took off his gun and keys from the console. Ella's eyes followed him and the words were out of her mouth before she could help herself.

"Should we expect you home tonight? Or are you too busy with Club business?"

She knew the only club business that usually kept him away all night was a twenty five year old named Darcy who _worked_ at the range. And he knew she knew. They just stared each other down for a long moment in a battle of will they had gotten so used to, it now seemed like a routine they each played a part in.

"Go take care of your mother." he ordered coldly before walking out without another word

Ella let out a weary sigh and climbed the stairs to the first floor of the house where her parent's bedroom was. It was still their bedroom despite the fact that Ray rarely spent his nights there anymore, even when he made it home.

She softly knocked on the door and let herself in. Her mother was in bed, a gaunt and tired figure that had once been a very beautiful woman. Her once luscious hair was gone, necessary damage to the aggressive treatments and had been replaced by a colorful scarf; the perfect olive skin that Ella had inherited from her was ashen, looking almost translucent in the dim sidelight. The only glimpse of the woman Nell Strickland had been was her profound soulful brown eyes.

"Hi Mum."

"Honey."

Ella walked around the bed and sat next to her bedridden mother.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay sweetheart. Today was a good day."

Ella gave her mother a weak smile. Even at her worse, slowly being killed by aggressive cancer cells, Nell still tried to protect her.

"You got a letter today."

Ella looked up as her mother pulled an envelope from under her pillow. Ella took the envelope from her mother's delicate hands and looked at it for a moment. She had been waiting for this for so long and now it had finally arrived. But instead of being happy, all Ella could feel was dread. She caught her mother watching and saw something she hadn't seen in a long time. Her mother's eyes were sparkling, excited for her daughter, hopeful. Ella felt herself smile at the sight and opened the envelope.

"So?"

"I'm in." Ella responded quietly, her voice barely over a whisper.

"Oh honey." said Nell before using all the energy she had to pull her daughter in a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you Ella."

Ella pulled away and smiled at her mother with teary eyes.

"Elle, honey, why aren't you happy? This is a good thing."

"I know. And I am happy. I just… I'm not going mum."

"What?" Why the hell not?"

"For a lot of different reasons mum." She paused.

Nell knew her daughter hadn't changed her mind. "Ella, if this is because of me, because you feel you have to take care of me…"

"I do Mum. But I_ want_ to be here. I _want _to take care of you." She paused "I made my decision, alright?"

Nell cast a sad glance at her daughter. Ella was about to sacrifice everything she had worked so hard for and Nell hated that she was the reason for it. But she also knew that her daughter was stubborn and that once she made a decision, no one could change it but Ella herself. "Okay."

Ella sighed grateful the conversation was over. "I'll go get you some diner." She took the letter and hurried out of the room running down the stairs until she reached the kitchen. She stared at the letter she was holding, the letter that had once been the key to her future. A full scholarship to college, a life away from the club, away from her father. Taking a deep breath, she tore the letter apart throwing the pieces of now meaningless paper into the nearby bin and went on to prepare diner for her mother.

It had been a nice plan. But sometimes plans didn't work out.

* * *

><p>Kozik was sipping his beer looking around at his new brothers-in-arms, quietly enjoying himself as he watched a hot sexy blond inking the finishing touches of a new tattoo on Happy's skin. This was different than the Charming clubhouse. Here, once the business closed, the shooting field became the playing ground for the charter, music blaring from portable speakers, beer loaded in ice coolers, trees offering a perfect getaway for a quickie with crow eaters and hang-around.<p>

He spotted Precious Pete Harper eyeing him amused. Precious Pete was the vice president of the club. He was in his early fifties, with pepper salted hair that always looked groomed, a gentle face and a lingering southern accent from his native Alabama. His good looks and good natured temperament had gotten his nickname as precious. He was known as the wise voice of the club. A kind man who knew when to make the tough calls and younger members looked up to him.

"Enjoying the view, Kozik?"

"Can't complain."

"I'd watch out if I were you, that the Wizard's wife right there."

The Wizard was a 62 year old who looked more like a Santa Claus look alike than a club biker. But he could still ride like a daredevil and that's all the club needed. He was the club tech expert.

Kozik shot him an incredulous "You kidding? She's what 25?"

"24." Pete responded with a knowing smile.

"Shit."

"I hear ya brother. Met her while he was locked up. They got married at the prison chapel. Man is savvy though. Computers, Criminal law. He can do your taxes too, if you need it."

"Is that why you call him the Wiz?"

"Nah. That's because his old lady? Her name is Dorothy."

The two men burst into a loud laugh that was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Ray Strickland.

Ray was the president of the Tacoma Charter. At 67, he was a charismatic leader, feared and respected by all amongst the life, even rival charters. Despite his calm demeanour, Ray's reputation was that of a though president who did not tolerate any weakness in his men; a scary and lethal man who had been a friend to John Teller and the other original nine. He had been given the Tacoma territory more than 25 years ago and led his charter with a iron fist. Every single person in the field had fallen silent the moment he walked in.

He laid his piercing eyes over the crowd "Church."

He had barely voiced more than a whisper but all the men suddenly dropped beers, cigarettes and women to follow the President and Kozik followed in their strike.

They walked into a somber room that wasn't unlike the Charming Church if a little less inviting. Happy nodded at Kozik to sit next to him and one by one everyone sat around the table.

The Tacoma charter was bigger than Charming's. Including Kozik, they were now fifteen fully patched members in addition to a dozen "reservists" as Happy liked to call them. Men, who didn't get a vote, didn't sit at the table or have a say in the club direction, but when shit hit the fan, those men were expected to get bloody with the rest and pay their dues as members. In exchange they got to wear a cut, albeit a different one.

Ray looked around the table and noticed an empty chair next to Happy. "Where's Tease?"

David Teaser. Kozik knew the man well; they had done runs together for the clubs and had gotten to be friends. Tease was a good man, married to a teacher, he had five kids and his wife Marie was now expecting twins.

"His youngest is sick. Told him to sit this one out."

Ray glared at his VP and everyone around the table suddenly held their breath. Obviously, Ray didn't appreciate Pete making this call without consulting him. But Pete didn't back down and after a moment Ray turned his attention back to the table.

"First order of the night, I'd like to welcome Kozik to the table. It's an honor to welcome a brother from the Mother Charter."

He nodded towards Kozik and the atmosphere relaxed. Kozik nodded back as the men grunted in agreement and patted Kozik's back.

"You'll quickly see that we're not so different from Charming. Wetbacks still don't understand their place. They have been at us, trying to get territory, especially on the north border. They're putting a lot of money into this. Money from Drugs. Drugs they're planning to get into our town, into our school. We are not going to let that happen. "

Ray turned to his right and signaled to his sergeant at arms to speak. Chance Hansen was a big man. Towering almost 2 meters, he was all muscles and had been with the charter the longest after Ray and Pete. He was loyal and lived only for and by the club, his three ex-wives having quickly understood that.

"We had some Intel that Augusto Romero has set up some warehouses to store his coke in our territory. We go in, fast and hard. We show that son of a bitch, Tacoma is Sons territory and wetbacks are not welcome."

"You got the locations?" asked Kozik tentatively.

The Sergeant pointed at "Wiz is working on it."

"I want us to be prepared for what's coming because make no mistakes gentlemen; we are winning this war" interjected the President." Now let's vote this thing. All those in favor."

Fourteen men raised their hands at once in favor of the mention. Ray turned to his vice-president who was the only man who hadn't voted yet. They stared at each other before Pete raised his hand, almost reluctantly.

"Alright then, as soon as we get the confirmed locations, we're going in."

The sound of the gavel resounded in the room and every man stood up to leave except for Pete. He knew that he and Ray needed a conversation. As the last man exited the room and closed the door, Pete sighed knowing what was coming. "He's got five kids, Ray and two more on the way. I'm just giving the man a little breathing space for god's sake." Pete had been the one to sponsor Tease in the club, ten years ago. And the man had since shown his worth many times over.

"I don't give a shit how many kids he's got, Pete. You don't come in and out of this club whenever you feel like it. I expect commitment and loyalty from all my men. We can't afford to lose sight of what's at stake here."

"And what's that Ray? Sending our guys blowing up Mayan warehouses on a hunch?

"We have reliable Intel." Ray countered.

"Who gave you the Intel Ray? The niners? You don't think there's something wrong with that?

"The Niners hate the wetbacks just as much as we do."

"Alright, even if the Intel is good. What happens after that Ray? They come at us; we retaliate until we're all dead or the cops get us? How many men do we lose until then?

"You're questioning my judgment, Pete?"

"No, I'm questioning us rushing into this thing, risking our guy's lives without thinking it through."

"This is what they signed up for, Pete. That's what we all signed up for. And next time you see Tease, _you_ tell him that." Ray gritted pointing an accusing finger to his friend before walking away.

He opened the door and found all men sending wary looks his way. They could guess what the conversation had been about and where awaiting Ray's reaction. Back in Charming, Kozik had heard rumours that Ray and Pete had been butting heads often lately. He also knew this was part of the dynamics of any club. He met Ray's eyes and the man broke into one of his rare smile.

"Welcome to Tacoma son." He said opening his arms to Kozik.

"Thanks Ray." replied Kozik has he hugged his new president and his new brothers in arms applauded loudly.

**Hope you enjoyed it, please review!**


	2. Loneliest girl in the world

**Chapter TWO - Loneliest girl in the world**

It had been a couple of days since the vote and Kozik was starting to get used to his new life. He still missed Charming and the brothers but he knew if he showed his worth, he would do well with the Tacoma Charter. All he needed now was a place to live. He had been crashing at Happy's since his arrival but if he was here to stay, he had to get his own place which was how he now found himself in front of an upmarket real estate agency, his friend next to him.

Kozik raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

Happy gave him an enigmatic smile and let himself in the agency leaving Kozik no choice but to follow suit. A cute receptionist looked up and smiled warmly at Happy.

"She'll be right with you"

Kozik looked around and couldn't help but feel ill at ease in the place. Everything around him suggested that any house on these books was probably way above his means, illegal or not.

"She's a friend of the club." Happy offered in response to Kozik questioning look.

Kozik looked at the woman his friend had just referred to as a "friend of the club". She was a tall and sophisticated blond in her early forties with a great rack and an ass you could probably bounce coins off. She was pacing in her office talking through a headset, a short power suit showing off her fine attributes.

She took off her headset and threw it on the desk before walking into the reception area. "Happy." she pouted seductively before undulating to him. She cupped his face in her hand pulled him into a full-on kiss. She took a step back and the pout was back on. "You don't call, you don't write."

"I've been busy doll."

"You always say that."

The woman then turned around to look at Kozik as if she had just realised his presence "And who is this?"

"Transfer."

She looked him up and down evaluating him before holding out her hand "Hi. I'm Joan."

"Kozik."

"I think I have just what you need Kozik. Won't be a minute darlin'."

She strolled back into her office and Kozik turned to Happy "A friend of the club, uh?"

* * *

><p>Ella looked up from the book she was holding and noticed her mother had fallen asleep. She put the book down on her chair and reached out for her mother's face to delicately brush a strand of hair before pulled the covers back up and quietly exiting the room. Ever since, Nell had fallen sick, Ella had taken up to reading to her. But lately, her mother was so tired that she almost always fell asleep halfway through. She was getting worse, Ella was very aware of that and it scared the hell out of her.<p>

A few minutes later, Ella found herself walking in the stables direction. It had been a long time since she'd been out here. She strolled along the empty boxes until she reached the last one.

"Hey boy."

She opened the gate and let herself in. A beautiful stallion was standing in the back watching her every move. Storm had been a gift from Ray. Proud, stubborn, sometimes reckless, he had been Ella's escape for many years. But somehow, she couldn't remember the last time she had ridden his powerful back.

She approached the animal and raised her hand to him. He neighed, moved backwards, avoiding her touch. It was his way of letting her know she wasn't forgiven.

She didn't back down though, and continued to her approach step by step. He trashed around some more but was stuck between her and the wall and Ella was confident he would never take the risk of hurting her. She took one last step and stopped, staring straight into him. Both of them stayed in this position facing each other for the longest time, until finally Storm took a step towards her, resting his muzzle on her shoulder, leaving her free to caress his sides.

"I know boy. It's been a while."

After a moment, she led him out and saddled him as best as she could. He wouldn't stop moving, too exited to stand still. They hadn't been out together since her mother had fallen ill. Simon, the caretaker that her father employed at the ranch had been taking care of her beloved horse for her, but Storm was a young horse and needed more than a weekly stroll around the ranch.

"Alright boy, you're ready?"

She slid over him and let him lead the way. A few minutes later, they were galloping through the fields, rider and horse in complete harmony. Ella had missed this but she hadn't realised just how much. Growing up, Storm had been her escape. Every time she rode him had been an adventure, the only moment where she felt completely free. Storm abruptly came to a halt and Elle realised they had reached the high electric fences her father had had installed a few years back. For security reasons, he had decreed, putting an end to any conversation. Nell had kept silent, even though Elle knew she hated the very idea.

The ranch had once belonged to Nell's father and his daughter had inherited it when he'd died. Nell had grown up there, surrounded by horses and once upon a time she had explored every inch of the land. She had passed that love of riding to Ella when she was a little girl. But Nell had not looked at a horse in years. She never went anywhere near the stables. Not since that summer eight years ago

Ella had been twelve years old. Her mother had woken her up one night and told her they were leaving. They had driven for hours that night until they had reached a small town in Dakota. Nell had been planning the escape for months and everything had been ready for their arrival. They lived there for two months, happy, free. But then Nell got news that her father had gotten sick. She had thought she could go visit discreetly and be back in no time. She had left Ella, promising her to be back soon. But it hadn't been Nell that had come back for her a couple of days later, it had been Ray. When they got back to the ranch, Ella was so scared for what might have happened to her mother, she almost ran from the car. She had found her mother sitting in the kitchen, unharmed. But something in her was different; it had been as if her eyes had lost their spark overnight. Ella understood what it was when she went to the stables. All her mother's horses had disappeared, every box empty but for blood stains on the straw. Nell never told her daughter what had happened to the horses but Elle had a pretty good idea.

"Come on boy, let's go."

* * *

><p>Kozik rolled on his back still panting. Joan sat up on her elbow and smiled lusciously at him. They had barely been in the house for a few minutes before they were tearing each other's clothes and Kozik had lifted her of her feet to the bed.<p>

"So? What do you think?"

Kozik grinned like a kid. "I think I'll take it."

She got closer to him, resting her chin on his chest.

"Glad I was of service"

"Oh, you definitely were."

She let out a small chuckled and kissed him, her tongue teasing him. Suddenly, she pulled back and quickly got off the bed pulling her hair back into a professional bun, very aware of Kozik's lusting stare on her. She was hot. And she sure as hell knew it.

"Leaving already?"

"You bikers are all the same. You always want more."

"What can I say? We're greedy bastards."

She raised a knowing eyebrow and started getting dressed. "I have to get back to work." she explained before sitting back on the side of the bed to put on her shoes. "It was nice meeting you Kozik. Drop by later, I'll have the papers ready for you to sign." She gave him a quick peck on the lips goodbye and disappeared in a huff.

Kozik got off the bed. He found his boxers on the floor and pulled them up before looking around the bedroom satisfied. It had been a productive morning, he had found a place he could afford and he had bedded a woman who was great in the sack. Life was definitely looking up.

* * *

><p>Back at the ranch, Ella had washed and fed her horse and was now leading him back to his box.<p>

"I'll be back soon, promise."

"You and your damn horses. You know in psychology, they call that transfer?" Ella didn't need to turn around to see who it was. She would have known this voice anywhere. "You know in psychology they call _you_ being a bitch." she retorted.

"I've' been called worse."

Ella finally turned around. Gillian Rose Price was standing at the threshold of the stables; hand on her hip, with a goofy smile on her face. She shrieked and ran to Ella hugging her tightly.

"God I missed your bony ass."

"Me too."

"What are you doing here?" asked Ella pulling back.

"I'm off to this crazy tattooist convention in Seattle and you were on the way. Bad timing?"

"No, your timing is perfect."

* * *

><p>Kozik was whistling when he entered the shooting range main building. He walked to the sexy piece of tail whom Ray had recently promoted to "Office manager."<p>

"Hey Doll."

"Hey Kozik. The boys are inside." She was beaming. "You found a place yet?"

"I did. Maybe you can visit someday. I'll give you the grand tour." He flirted.

Her attention was distracted by the door opening and Pete walked in.

"Hey Pete,"

The man ignored Darcy and turned to Kozik "Hey brother."

The two men went down the corridor to a door that said "Restricted Area." The restricted area was a series of storage rooms and small offices the boys used for business both legal and otherwise. At the far end, was the "staff room", where the boys relaxed when they were around. The shooting range had been an great investment for Ray and the club in an area where 80% of the population owned a gun license, but it was also a great cover for the club's business. And to be honest, it was like having a giant playing ground for the boys. Ray had bought the land more than 20 years ago when it has been a corn field. Now the external shooting range extended for five square miles around the main building which was split in two main areas, the private shooting lane, mostly used by some local cops and women who didn't want to be out in the open while learning how to use their gun and the restricted area. Club territory.

"What was that about?" Kozik asked curious. He clocked Pete's sideway look.

"Not her too! Who?"

"The Pres."

Kozik rolled his eyes.

"Is there any chick here without a sugar daddy? He sniggered before opening the door to the staff room. As soon as they walked in, question came flying.

"So how was the house hunting, Koz?" Chance grilled him

"Joan gave you the club special?"

Kozik turned to Pete with a questioning look. "The club special?"

"What? You didn't think you were the first one, were you? Joan has a thing for bikers."

"You mean… all of you?"

The VP burst out laughing at Kozik's look, "Sorry Brother."

"Jesus Christ."

"You thought you rocked her world, uh?"

The boys started to cat call and whistle and Kozik couldn't help but join in the laughter. It was good to be part of a brotherhood again. After his rift with Alex Tig Tragger, the Charming Sergeant At Arms, Kozik had found himself forced to request a transfer for the good of a club and it had pained him to leave his brothers. But now, he knew he found a new home here.

The wizard suddenly burst in the room and went straight to Ray.

"I checked all of Romero's known hang outs. Couldn't find shit. Then I checked under his old lady's maiden name, Luevo. I've got a hit on 3 locations."

"Good work, Wiz." he offered, patting the old man on the back.

The president turned to Pete and called him over.

"Are you with me on this?"

"I don't like this Ray." started the VP."But I got your back."

Ray nodded to him and called out "Boys, get everyone. We go in tonight." He paused and turned back to Pete. " Call the arsonist. We're going to need him."

**Thanks for reading! Don't hesitate to let me know what you think!**


	3. Wish you'd hold that smile

**CHAPTER THREE - Wish you'd hold that smile**

"So, you're really not going to go?"

Ella let out a deep breath and poured her friend some more coffee. They were sitting in the kitchen and for the last hour had been catching up on lost time. Ella had just finished telling her about her acceptance to college and her decision not to go.

"I don't exactly have a choice Gil".

"Elle, they're offering you a full ride to college. That's some amazing shit and you worked your ass off for it!"

"I know. I just… I can't. She took care of my whole life. I can't leave her here with Ray."

"Speaking of the devil. How is the old son of a bitch?"

"Sleeping with a 25 year old."

"No shit!"

"Her name is Darcy."

"Skank" she grunted pointedly.

Ella couldn't help but smile. She had missed having her friend around and she was glad she finally had someone to confide to.

"Seriously Elle. You have to think about this." Gillian urged her friend

"I already have. I owe my mum this. College can wait. Now let's drop it alright? Tell me about Gloria instead."

Gloria was Gillian's mother. She had been a friend of the club like many other business owners in the area. She paid a fee to the club and in exchange they protected the strip club she owned. Not to mention the perks the club enjoyed. A few years back, she had sold the business and moved to California.

"Still living it up in California. Business is sky rocketing."

"Maybe I should become a stripper."

"They call themselves Exotic dancers in Cali and you would definitely have the body for it. Anyway she's vegetarian now."

"You're kidding?

"I swear. She's even dating this yoga instructor who's all about your body being a sanctuary crap. He's kind of douche bag but she says he's very limber."

Ella giggled "Jesus. I guess she hasn't changed that much."

"She sends you her best too. Always thought you were a good influence on me."

"Nell always thought you were a bad influence on me."

"Well that part is true. Which brings me to tonight. " Gillian teased before making a dramatic pause. " You and I are going out to have ourselves some fun. And don't say no, you know I won't stand for it."

Ella looked at her friend pleading eyes. "Actually, a night out is exactly what I need."

* * *

><p>After Ray had dismissed the boys, Kozik took the opportunity to head back to town and drop by the agency, Joan was out with a client but true to her word, the paperwork was ready and the whole operation was done in five minutes.<p>

Kozik thanked the cutie at the reception and walked out ready to ride back to the shooting range. But as he crossed the road to, he spotted a familiar face and walking into an off license.

Ella walked into the crowded shop and placed herself in the queue. She had dropped off Gillian at her motel a few minutes before. Despite Ella's insistence for her to stay at the ranch, Gillian had refused. She probably didn't want to take the risk of running into Ray who scared the hell out of her as he did most people. They had agreed to meet up in town later.

"Hi Ella. How are you? Pack of Marlboros?

"I'm good Earl, thanks." she replied as she handed the shop keeper money.

"How is your mum doing?"

"She's a little better thanks."

"I'm glad. Be sure to give Ray my best."

Ella gave him a quick smile and hurried out. She hated people being nice to her because of who her father was. She marched to her car and caught sight of the biker from the other night, the one who had helped her out, sitting on the hood of her car. What was his name again? Kozik?

"Well, well, if it isn't my ex-lover." he said with a devilish grin.

Ella couldn't help but notice him again and interiorly scowled herself for it. But she couldn't deny he certainly had a certain charm emanating from him, something about his playful eyes and mischievous smile that were annoyingly endearing.

"Funny I don't remember that." she retorted, rummaging for her keys.

"That's because you're still playing hard to get."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"Don't worry love, happens to the best of us."

She suppressed an amused smile she hadn't been able to help and moved to open her car door but was stopped by his hand on the door.

"You know, you never told me your name."

"You never asked."

"I'm asking now."

Ella turned to him and gazed into his eyes for a minute. She leaned in closer and whispered "I'm… not interested."

Without breaking eye contact, she removed his hand from the door and got into the car.

He let out an impressed chuckled and knocked on the window. She thought of ignoring him and leaving but she would probably end up driving over him so instead she rolled down the window.

"Just so you know… I saw that smile."

Kozik took a step back intently eying her as she backed away and drove off.

* * *

><p>Pete got off his bike and made his way towards the house. He knocked on the door quietly at first, but after a moment when no one came, he knocked harder.<p>

The door opened and a very pregnant Marie gave him a glowing smile, holding Jenny their two year old daughter.

"Pete, hi! I'm sorry, I didn't hear the door."

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and moved to let him in just in time for Pete to spot Mickey, their energetic six year old son running towards him shrieking "Uncle Pete!"

Pete swept him in his arms. "Hey Mickey. How you been?"

"Are you going to take me on your bike?"

"Mummy might be very pregnant honey, but she could still kick's Uncle's Pete ass." Marie interjected.

Pete laughed and put Mickey down.

"Come on, take your sister to the kitchen, I'll be right there." She ordered as Jenny slid off her side to the floor. "Sorry, things are always a little crazy in here. You're looking for David?"

Pete nodded.

"He's upstairs with Ben, giving him a stern talk to. He got in trouble at school."

"He's a good kid, he'll be alright."

They were interrupted by the sound of a plate breaking on the floor. Marie closed her eyes. "Mickey!"

"It wasn't me!" came the answer

"God. Sorry Pete, I have to go check on them. Make yourself at home."

She hurried back to the kitchen and Pete waited for a moment, before hearing footsteps in the stairs. David spotted him. He let out a sigh and continued down the stairs.

"Let's go outside." He said opening the door.

They stepped onto the porch and David nervously lit a cigarette.

"Everything alright, brother?"

"Kid got suspended for fighting. As if I don't have enough shit to deal with." He took long drag and eyed Pete. "Ray sent you?"

"He just wants to know you're still with us."

"He's questioning my loyalty to this club?" he tossed his cigarette on the floor before continuing "Shit, Pete… I'm doing my best here, you know that. With the kids and the twins coming, I'm pulling double shifts just to make ends meet."

"You know I can help with that."

Tease gave him an offended look "I ain't asking for fucking charity, Pete. I can take care of my family. I just… I need Ray to understand that."

"I know brother. Look, thing is shit is about to hit the fan and the club needs you. Ray just needs to know he can count on you."

Pete watched his friends bury his face in his hands for a long moment. When he looked up, he looked resigned."Alright."

Tease stood up and hugged his mentor.

"You better pick up that cigarette butt unless you want your wife to rip you a new one." Pete whispered to him sending both of them into laughter.

**As always review if you liked…or not!**


	4. Never leave your heart alone

**CHAPTER FOUR - NEVER LEAVE YOUR HEART ALONE**

Kozik watched as the VP slowed down and pulled over before following suit. The men stepped off their bikes and Kozik surveyed their surroundings. They were on the packed parking lot of a night club. They were surrounded by small groups of well-dressed people out to enjoy the night. A long queue had formed in front of the door.

"I thought we were going to see the Arsonist."

"Well, why do you think I brought you here? Dancing? Sorry kid but you ain't my type." The heavy man chuckled before leading the way to the club.

Kozik found himself following the man once again until they reached the heavy steel doors. The burly bouncer opened the doors for them, stepping off to give them way.

"He's out back." He said addressing Pete.

"Thanks Brother."

The man shot a rapid look at Kozik "New Recruit."

"Transfer. From Charming."

"Welcome to the Devil's Lair brother."

Kozik nodded to the man and let himself in, making his way through velvet curtains. Straight away, they were overwhelmed by the noise people now called music. The darkened room was packed, people stepping on each other's toes left and right.

"Jesus." Sighted Kozik.

"Welcome to the dark side, brother."

Pete made his way through the crowd, Kozik on his toes closely behind trying not lose sight of the old man. They walked all the way to back and reached the DJ's box.

"That's him, there." Pete yelled trying to be heard above the music.

Kozik looked at the man Pete was pointing at. He barely looked a day above eighteen, ginger hair spiked up his head in an unfortunate Mohawk, sunglasses on his nose that kept falling down his nose as he moved his head to the music. He seemed lost to the world oblivious to anything but the loud sound of hip hop coming out of the speakers.

"That's the Arsonist?"

"Kid's insane but he's a genius. Plus he's got the connections."

Pete reached out and knocked on the heavy glass. The DJ looked up and nodded to him before nudging the Arsonist.

"You got visitors."

The Arsonist glare at them, obviously annoyed at being interrupted in his trance. He opened the door to the glass box and stepped out. Without even acknowledging their presence, he walked towards a side door that was closely guarded by two bouncers. The bikers followed him but as Kozik was about to walk through the door the Arsonist turned around and addressed one of the guards.

"Not him."

"What?"

"I don't know you. I don't trust you."

"You got to be kidding me!"

Pete tried to intervene. "He's cool brother, he is with me."

"I said NOT him." The Arsonist had almost shouted and it startled Pete. He didn't want to upset the paranoid kid and risk coming back to the range empty handed. He turned to Kozik with a sigh. "I'll be alright brother. Just go have yourself a drink at the bar." Kozik was about to object but the two guards stepped in front of the door and closed it.

"Bar is that way brother."

Kozik glared at them but knew it was pointless to try and pick up a fight here, now. He let out a sigh and turned around in the bar's direction.

* * *

><p>Ella was bored. Bored and soon I'll be drunk she thought to herself. She was sitting at the bar of Tacoma's newest bar, the Devil's lair by herself feeling very alone despite the fact that the place was packed with yuppies in their late twenties, pretending they still remembered what it was to be cool, but not quite getting there. She had lost sight of Gillian on the dance floor a while ago, after watching her friend steal the spotlight. Ella smiled as she remembered the men watching her from the side lines lust in their eyes and women gawking at her with envy and resentment. Just like in high school. Gillian had always loved the attention, even then. She had been the girl boys wanted to date and girls wanted to hate but secretly envied. One thing about the wily blond was that she never let anyone indifferent.<p>

Growing up had been a different story for Ella. Guys had been attracted to her but more often than not they had kept their distances, the shadow of Ray Strickland, the outlaw father following her around. The few guys that had been brave enough to ask her out had quickly backtracked and broken up with her under false pretences. But Ella knew the score. They were all attracted to the excitement she represented, dating the daughter of a renown outlaw like a prize they had to win. But once reality set in and they'd all followed the same path and realised they would rather be dating someone with a more ordinary life. There had been one guy in senior year with whom Ella had though she might have something real but reneging your past came with a price and every time he got too close, or asked too many questions, Ella's defenses would kick in and her walls would come back up, so in the end he had cut his losses and broken up with her. She was very aware of her unability to trust anyone but as much as she had tried she just hadn't managed to let him in. So in the end, she had stopped trying, keeping mostly to herself, refusing to go out when asked, finding solace in her studies. And there she was now, she thought to herself with a wry smile. A few months after graduating she found herself exactly where she'd started.

She looked around trying to locate her friend to no avail. She felt stupid here on her own, holding the bar. A few men had tried striking up a conversation, but she had politely but firmly shot them down before turning her back on the joyous crowd choosing the face the bar, obliterating any unwelcome interest. She really didn't feel like being hit on by ten different versions of the same men. That was why she hated placed like this. She hated the games, the men looking for someone to share the night with, women selling themselves short in the hopes of something knew she shouldn't feel like this. She was almost twenty years old, she should have been enjoying herself, having fun like most people her age. But instead she felt like an impostor, someone who didn't belong here. Because no matter how hard she tried, she knew she wasn't like the people around her and she would never be.

She looked up to ask for another drink and found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror hanging above the bar. She had made an effort tonight, smoking her already deep brown eyes, colouring her lips crimson, letting her hair down, free to cascade over her shoulders and she had been happy with the result. But now, as she looked at herself, she couldn't help but wonder who was the woman staring back at her.

As she was about to go find Gillian and ask her to leave, she caught sight of something in the mirror. It was him, Kozik. Of all places, this was probably the last one she had expected him or any of the Sons for that matter to be. It was why she had chosen it in the first place.

She observed him almost like a scientist observes a rare species, as he made his way through the crowd, oblivious to the questioning looks her was getting. He was so out of place, his biker style clashing with the clean cut suits and evening dresses. She watched as groups parted to let him pass. He reached the bar and with a simple nod, he hailed the bartender and made his order, once again not seeming to notice the looks of resentments from other patrons who had been trying to get their orders in for ages.

She had to admit that her interest was picked. For some reason, the blond man intrigued her. Despite the fact that he was so obviously out of his element, total confidence still emanated from him, he was at ease with himself and that made him very different from half the men there.

The bartender came back with his beer and Kozik handed him some money, almost yelling above the noise telling him to keep the change. He took a large gulp, brewing his anger. He wasn't used to being sent away like a little kid and didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. He felt an arm brush past his but ignored it until he heard a husky voice.

"Well, well, if it isn't Kozik the mechanic."

It was her. The girl from the side road. The mysterious stranger that kept popping back into his life. The one who had refused to give him her name.

She looked different tonight. She was wearing a sophisticated lime green silk dress that embraced every curve of her body and made her olive skin almost glow; the low cut back revealed the intriguing tattoo that Kozik had caught a glimpse of the day they met. A snake coming out of a hole with some obscure inscription on top, the ink ran from her neck to the small of her back. She had sky high heels that made her nearly reached his height but not quite and her face was all made up. She looked like a million bucks, stunning. But somehow, Kozik couldn't help but think something didn't quite fit. When he'd first met her and again earlier when he had seen her in town, she had looked like a diamond rough around the edges. But now, she looked polished, every flaw and expression hidden beneath the makeup. Kozik liked the wild and natural version.

She kinked an eyebrow, letting him know she had seen him check her out. "You know, at first the stalking was cute. Now it's just getting creepy."

"Really? Most girls find it endearing." He retorted with his signature grin.

"You really think you're cute, don't you?"

"Come on, you know I'm cute."

Ella bit her lip, trying to suppress a smile.

"There is that smile again." He leaned in closer conspiringly. "Careful now, people might think you're flirting with me."

"Don't flatter yourself sweetheart. I'm playing hard to get remember?" she replied in the same tone.

Kozik let out an impressed laugh. She really was something else. Not only did she have a killer body, but she had spirit, she was quick witted and flirtatious at the same time. Most of all, although she was miles away from the girls Kozik usually met, he felt that they were at the same level somehow.

She took his drink from his hand without asking, her fingers lightly brushing his and raised the bottle to her lips, her eyes never leaving Kozik's.

"You know, I wouldn't have thought this was your scene." She remarked handing him the beer back.

"Yeah? What's my scene?"

She feigned to think. "Seedy bars, old school rock music, bimbos looking for a bad boy to tame."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

"You're full of something."

He started at her for a moment, scrutinizing her face as if he was trying to figure her out, and a sly smile slowly appeared on his face. "You're working so hard not to like me."

"What makes you think I have to try so hard?"

He chose this moment to lean even closer, their faces inches away from each other. "Because if you didn't, there's a good chance you might be interested."

He was so close, Ella could smell his perfume. She could feel his breath on her cheek. The proximity suddenly got too much for her and she decided it was time to leave. The alcohol was confusing her and she needed to go home before things got complicated. "Yeah, but then there's a good chance hell might freeze over." She retorted with a voice that lacked conviction. "Don't take my boredom for anything else than what it is. You don't know me. Don't try and read into me." She put her hand on her purse and felt his hand close on hers. Before she could make another move, Kozik stood up, suddenly dominating her. She tried to take a step back but she was stuck between him and a man behind her. She felt his arm reach around her back and with a single , he brought hercloser to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Dancing. What does it look like?"

Ella was tempted to untangle herself but she caught a glimpse of his eyes and realised he was challenging her. He was trying to rattle her and she wasn't about to be pushed around. She put her hands on his powerful arms and locked eyes with him. She felt him press his hand on the small of her back and leaned in as if to kiss her only to move an inch and whisper in her ear.

"You know, you're right. I don't know you. But it seems a little unfair that you seem to know so much about me. And I don't even know your name."

"You don't care about my name. Not really. If I told you, let's get out of here now, you'd probably forget all about my name and just get on with it. I'm just a challenge. I'm not buying into your usual BS and that bothers you. It's the chase you enjoy, not my company. And I'm not looking to be anyone warm body.

"Don't sell yourself short. Maybe I want to know you because you're different."

She cocked up her head shooting him an amused look. "Really? The "you're different line"? Tell me Kozik does that actually work?"

"Usually I have to say, yes."

She let out an honest laugh and he liked the sound of it. It was the first time she had laughed, not just a snigger but an actual good humored laugh.

"Alright, humor me. What makes me so different?"

For the second time that night, he scrutinized her face like he could see through it. His blue eyes watching her intensely. "You. Here. All dolled up. That's not you. It's all an act and you hate every second of it." He saw the wry smile on her face quickly disappear and her body going stiff in his arms. "Also, right now, we're dancing, I'm leading but you just can't let go. You like to be in the driver's seat. You need it because you don't like losing control. It scares you too much."

Ella felt her throat dry up. He was still staring at her awaiting a reaction but she couldn't speak. She couldn't tear her eyes from him either. She had told him he couldn't read into her and he had read her just like an open book seeing right through her. It left her feel exposed, a feeling she hated above all. She hated being vulnerable.

Kozik could tell he had thrown her off and somehow he didn't quite get the satisfaction he had been expecting.

They were still moving to the music, but in that instant if anyone had asked Kozik what music was playing, he would have been unable to answer. The only sound he could hear was the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. Their faces were so close; small move would have been enough for their lips to touch. Before Kozik could make a decision, they were snatched back to reality.

"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Ella instinctively took a step back and Kozik reluctantly turned to the new arrival. She was a tall blond, who was presently looking at him with a mixture of mild amusement and surprise. She lacked natural but she was undeniably hot. She wore a low cut top that was a few inches too short and showed a perfectly flat and atnned stomach; leather trousers so tight they probably had had to be sewn on her and black heel boots. She also had a full sleeve tattoo and wore it well.

"Who is your friend?"

"_That_ is Kozik the mechanic."

"A mechanic, uh? Imagine that. I'm Gillian." She said shooting him an earnest smile.

"Nice to meet you, Gillian." He turned to Ella. "See that how it works, people give you their names and you give them yours."

"That's because she doesn't know any better."

Kozik reverted his attention back to Gillian "Is she always like this?"

"No, usually she's meaner. That's her on good days."

"Well I guess I'll just have to keep trying."

"And we should go, I'm properly starved. It was nice meeting you Kozik."

"You too. And I'm sure I'll see _you_ around" he said addressing Ella.

She shot him a last smile before following her friend and disappearing through the crowd. He smiled to himself. He had to find out who she was. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was the chase. Maybe he liked the challenge she represented. He had wanted to kiss her and he almost did. Had she been any other girl he wouldn't have had to think twice. But the look on her face when he told her why he thought she was different had been somewhat familiar to him. It had made him think of a wounded animal. For the first time since he had met her, she had appeared to lose her defences, she had seemed almost fragile. He couldn't shake the feeling that she was more than met the eye and for the first time in a long time, Kozik felt it wasn't about sex, not anymore. It was something else. He felt himself wanting to know more about her.

"Hey."

He turned around startled to find Pete looking at him quizzically. He quickly recovered. "Get what we need?"

"We're all good brother." Replied the VP showing the bag he was holding. "Sorry about the kid. He can be a bit skittish around new faces."

"What's his damage anyway?"

"PTSD. Iraq, man."

Kozik sighted. He knew enough about the damages a war can do on a grown man, let alone on a boy barely out of his teens. "Alright, let's go."

Outside, the bouncer saw the two men jump on their bike and leaves. He called out to one of his co-workers "Take over for a moment. I need to pee."

He made his way to the side of the building and lit up a cigarette before dialing a number on his phone.

"They just left. They got the package. It's going down tonight." He hanged up without further comments and took a long drag on his cigarette, satisfied.

* * *

><p>"God, It' s been so long since I've had one of those." Gillian sighted with satisfaction.<p>

Ella nodded in agreement. "I know. This is good."

After leaving the club, they had made their way to the diner that had been their hang out growing up, ordering a unhealthy diner of French fries and double cheese burgers. They were surrounded by teenagers without a single care in the world but the place was full of memories for them. Back when it had been the two of them against the world.

"Thanks for tonight, Gillian. I needed this."

"Even though you hated every second of it?"

Ella smiled. Gillian still knew her better than anyone else. "Not exactly every second of it."

"Right, speaking of which, what's with you and GI Joe?"

"He helped me out when I was stranded and I guess he's expecting gratitude" Ella replied dismissively.

Gillian put a fry in her mouth. "And how exactly is he still breathing right now? Sons usually know better than trying to bed the Pres's daughter."

"You Well, he doesn't exactly know who I am."

"How is that even possible?"

"Transfer. From the mother charter." Ella made a brief pause and looked back at her friend with a conniving smile. "Does that make me bad?"

Gillian let out an impressed laugh. " Look at you girl. Playing heartbreaker with a badass biker."

"I'm not playing."

"Hello? I was right there. There was definitely something going on there."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Come on Gil, you know me. He's everything I hate in a guy, he's cocky, full of himself, thinks he can bed any girls he wants, probably does too. He's a player. Believe me when I say I'm not interested."

"I believe that's what your head is telling you. But tonight girlfriend, your body was giving a whole different story."

"Fine. He's attractive. I'll admit that. But he is a Son. A fully patched member of the club. He's as bad as the rest of them."

Gillian put down her drink and "They're not all bad guys Elle."

"How can you of all people say that? You left town because of one."

Two years prior, Gillian had dropped out of school and taken up a job with the club tattoo artist to learn the trade. She had become involved with a young member of the club, Danny Trevino. But whilst Gillian had fallen head over heels for him, waiting for the day she'd officially be his old lady, he had met another girl and ended things with Gillian. She had left town shortly after that, unable to face him every day. He was now doing a ten years stretch, his old lady had left taking all his possessions and the club barely visited him anymore.

"I didn't leave because of Danny. I left because of me. Alright, being with Danny, it was like being on a rollercoaster, I never knew where I stood with him. But he never lied to me, he never made any promises. In fact, he warned me about getting involved with him. But I did. I made a choice and everything that happened after that, it lands on me."

"He broke your heart."

"Yes. But that doesn't make him a bad guy. It's just makes him a guy. Trust me, there are some pretty bad guys out there, I've been with half of them myself, but Danny? He wasn't one of them. Look I get it, you want a different life. But you can't spend it watching from the side-lines. At some point, you're going to have to take a risk."

"With him?"

"Him, anybody. You don't have to be alone Elle. You just are."

Ella contemplated the words of her friend for a moment. She knew Gillian was right. She had bailed every time things had gotten too complicated, to intimate. She had spent years focused on one objective, getting out. It had become her reason for being. But in the last few weeks, she had found herself wondering if that had been smart. She was back in Tacoma, back in her father's house, with no friends, no love life, nothing but her mother's illness. It didn't feel like she was getting out, it felt like she was here to stay.

"Who died and made you wise all of sudden?"

Gillian giggled "It comes with old age."

"Are you sure you have to leave tomorrow?"

"You know Cali isn't that far away, maybe you can come over and visit sometimes."

"Maybe."

* * *

><p>Kozik and Pete pulled into the shooting range parking lot to find Tease pulling up at the same time. The man stepped off his bike and walked to them.<p>

"Good to see you again man" he said before hugging the blond biker.

"It's good to see you too man. I hear you got two more kids on the way. You ever hear of condoms man?"

Tease chuckled "I guess that what I get for marrying a catholic."

The door to the shooting range opened and Ray and the rest of the crew came out. They approached the group.

"We're all set?" the president asked.

"We're good.."

"Let's go gentlemen. Tease, Kozik and Pete you stick together. I'll go with Chance and Stone. Happy, Wizz and Stockhard will take the last one. The rest of you stay close by in case we need back up."

The men nodded at once.

"Let's do this, boys and no mistakes."

**Don't forget to drop me a line and let me know what you think!**


	5. People plan, god laughs

**CHAPTER FIVE - People Plan, God Laughs**

Kozik and Tease sat in the van in solemn silence waiting for the signal to go. Pete was standing outside, smoking a cigarette, his cell phone locked to his ear. They had chosen to take the vans for discretion and they had parked in a secluded spot, at a safe but easy walking distance from the warehouse. They had dropped the prospect 500 yards away as a look out.

Kozik noticed Tease rubbing his temple as if trying to chase a headache.

"You alright brother?"

"I'm fine." he responded dejectedly and nodded towards Pete. "You know, he thinks this is a bad idea, right?"

Although the Vice President hadn't voiced it to Kozik, it was obvious he thought this was a bad move for the club. Kozik wasn't sure of that but he had to admit he would have been more comfortable if they had cross checked the Intel with surveillance over the warehouses. As an ex-soldier, a navy seals at that, he knew Intel only takes you so far and you needed to be able to make snap decisions in a matter of seconds or people got hurt. He didn't like going into this blind and he knew he wasn't the only one. But he also knew that you don't always agree with commandment but you execute nonetheless.

He sighted "I know."

"What do you think?"

"I think we voted this shit so what I think doesn't really matter. You?"

"I trust Pete's judgement."

"Then why are you here? You could have sat that one out, Ray would have been pissed but he would have gotten over it. Pete would always have your back."

Kozik knew there was a strong bond between the two men. Complete and utter trust. Kozik remembered what that felt like when he had been in Charming. For the longest time, Alex Tig Tragger had had his back 100%. That was until they fell out and Kozik had to transfer.

"You don't know Ray very well, do you? I don't know how things work in Charming but here in Tacoma, Ray calls the shots. He says we go in, we go in, no questions asked. Vote is just a formality. Things used to be different. It used to be that people knew who we were, what we stood for. They knew that sometimes you have to fight violence with violence and that we were there to protect the town and its people from the drugs, and the gang violence, and the sell outs over there in city hall. But overnight, this town turned into a city with big aspirations. Black moved in, Mexicans, freakin' Chinese. Suddenly we were losing ground left and right and you had to look over your shoulder when you brought your kids to school. We settled on territories. And as long as everyone sticks to their own backyards, it works. But it ain't going to last brother. Today, it's the Mayans in the North, tomorrow, who the f**k knows? And those guys, they don't follow our rules; they'll kill their own mother if it means more business. We blow up a warehouse; tomorrow they'll have three more set up all over town. That's Tacoma Brother. But Ray, he doesn't want to hear this. He still thinks this is 1975 and the town is our playground. We all know it ain't true, but who's going to tell him? I'm here tonight, because despite everything, I still believe in this club but I just don't think we can win this war brother."

Tease realised he had been talking for a long time and looked back to Pete almost embarrassed. They saw the man hang up the phone and look back at them gravely.

"Guess that's our queue" Kozik said before opening his door.

They stepped off the car, Tease carrying the bag containing the explosives. Kozik checked the 9mm on his ankle and took out the one he carried on his waist and the men started their advance towards the warehouse.

Around them, there was nothing but darkness. The only sound was their feet crushing gravel with every step.

They came twenty yards from the warehouse and Pete signaled them to stop. They took out the explosive device from the bag and Pete kneeled down to assemble it, following the Arsonist's instructions to the letter.

* * *

><p>Inside the warehouse, Juan Otero, Augusto Romero's right arm was waiting with 6 of his best men. Tonight they had mobilised their whole crew. He smiled as he ran through the events that had brought them here tonight. It had all been orchestrated really well. The Mayans knew they needed the northern territories in order to boost the drug running business and take a lead on the competition. They knew the Sons wouldn't go down easily and it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan between the two clubs. So they decided to circulate noise about warehouses the Mayans supposedly used for storing their stocks. After that, they had been able to anticipate every move the Sons were going to make. Juan couldn't wait to see the look on their faces when they realised they had been played. He knew they probably wouldn't be able to annihilate them and they might even lose some guys in the process. But in the grand scheme of things, it was a sacrifice Juan was very much ready to make.<p>

"Sonos aqui!" He heard his watch out whisper excitedly

"Vamonos."

Kozik heard the door open and instinctively knew they had just walked into a trap.

"Get down!" he yelled before crouching down taking cover.

A second later, the Mayans were opening fire, spraying bullets from automatic weapons at the rate of 96 rounds a minute. Kozik could hear the bullets whistling just above his head. He turned around to locate his comrades and spotted Pete on the floor, his back against a rock and Tease hiding behind a tree. Kozik looked up to the warehouse but all he could see was the fire coming out of the rifle's nuzzles, like lighting bolts. He returned fire but in the mayhem it was practically impossible to take aim without exposing himself.

"What the fuck is this?" he heard Tease shout out.

Pete looked at Kozik "We got to call Ray and the others."

But Kozik knew it was pointless. If the Mayans had set them up, the same shit was probably going down in the other locations. They were on their own. They could only hope their back up had heard the gunshots by now and were coming for reinforcement. There was a short reprieve from the Mayans and Kozik took the chance to look up and assess the situation.

"They're moving in on us, we got to get out of here."

Right at that moment, Kozik saw a shadow on the floor and swiftly rolled over ready to shoot, recognizing one of the prospects just as he was about to pull the trigger.

"GET THE FUCK DOWN!"

Before the order could register, the young man took two rounds in the chest and fell on his back.

"Shit!"

Pete tried to reach the kid but another spray of bullets came flying. They were truly and well stuck with no way out. Kozik looked over and realised Pete still had the bag of explosives next to him.

"Hey Pete, that thing ready to work?"

Pete seemed to follow Kozik's train of thoughts. "Maybe it's time we find out."

"Alright, I'm going to roll over to you and throw the bomb. You and Tease you take the kid and you head back to the van. I'll cover you."

"No way! I'm not leaving anyone behind brother."

"We ain't got no choice! We're sitting ducks here, we got to get out. I'll be fine."

Pete pursed his lips together. He knew Kozik was right, but he hated the idea of leaving him here on his own. Before he could formulate another objection, Kozik stood up both guns in hand, aiming for the Mayan and discharged his whole gun in their direction before rolling on the floor and reaching the vice president.

"You all right."

"I'm alive." Kozik replied with a smile, despite the crazy circumstances. "Alright how does that work?"

"You press this button, and you run as fast as you can. You have 30 seconds."

"I need it quicker than that. Maybe it needs a little help."

"You're going to shoot at it?"

"I'm going to try."

Kozik wasn't the best at shooting. He had always been better at one on one combat, surprising his enemies with his agility, no matter size or height. But he knew he was their best chance at getting out of there alive.

"Tease man you ready?"

He heard the muffled response back "Just about brother."

"Alright, on three. One, two, three!"

Kozik threw the bomb in the air as hard as he could and although it didn't quite reach as far as he'd hoped, it was still close enough kneeled down to take aim. He pulled the trigger and watched as the bomb suddenly exploded in the air. The force of the explosion propelled Kozik backwards and he landed on his back. He quickly stood back up and taking advantage of the chaos he had created ran as fast as he could in the direction of the van.

After a few exhausting minutes, he saw the black vehicle, engine already running. The back door opened and Kozik jumped inside and Pete stepped on the accelerator, the tyres burning their way on the road.

Tease was sat on the side of the van holding a blood soaked white towel, with a defeated look on his face. Kozik eyes went on to the lifeless corpse at their feet and closed his eyes. The boy had barely been twenty two. He was just starting out. And now he was dead. Kozik swore someone would have to pay for it.

* * *

><p>Ella quietly closed the door before noticing the lights on in the kitchen. She walked inside and saw her mother sitting at the table, staring at a cup of steamy tea.<p>

"Mum? Please tell me you weren't waiting for me?"

"I wasn't waiting for you." Nell replied deadpan. "How was your night?"

"It was nice."

Nell noticed the lack of conviction in her daughter's voice. "You don't sound like someone who had a nice evening."

Ella couldn't help but be taken aback; her mother had always had like a fifth sense when it came to her. "It's nothing, I just… can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"When you met Dad, did you know what he was? Who he was?"

Nell hadn't been expecting the question. But with the prospect of her own death, she had replayed countless of times the choices she had made with her life and she had asked herself the same question. She let out a big sigh. "Yes. I did. Even if I didn't exactly know what _that _was."

"Was he different then?"

"Elle, why are you asking?"

Kozik's grinning face popped in her head for a second but Ella chased the thought away and quickly covered. "Curiosity I guess." She shrugged.

"In many aspects, your father is still the same man I met all those years ago as I am the same woman. We were just young and in love and we thought we could conquer all."

"So what happened?"

A sad smile appeared on Nell's face. "Life I guess. We grew into older versions of ourselves and something got lost."

Ella pondered her mother's answers for a moment. "I should go to bed."She kissed her mother's forehead. "Goodnight mum."

As she took off her clothes, Ella found herself replaying the conversation with her mother. She knew what had prompted her to ask those questions. Something Gillian had said has stuck with her. She had said they weren't all bad guys. And Ella knew she was right. They had a screwed up moral compass but most of them were loyal, fiercely dedicated and would do anything for each other.

But Ella had grown up very aware of the divide between her parents and had quite naturally chosen her mother's side. She'd sworn she'd never let a man treat her like her father had treated her mother and would never get involved with a Son. She had thought talking to her mother would help strengthen that resolve but in the end she felt more confused than ever.

* * *

><p>Because despite her denigrations, she knew she was attracted to Kozik. And it wasn't just physical, he intrigued her, challenged her. He was different, very different from the men she had met before and tonight if they had not interrupted, she probably would have let him kiss her. But she couldn't let this happen, despite the attraction, she knew she had to stay the hell away from Kozik.<p>

Kozik, Pete and Tease had been the first ones back at the range. They had quickly settled in the meeting room waiting for their brothers to come home, soon joined by Happy, Wizz and Stockard. Finally Ray, Chance and Stone walked into the room looking worse for wear.

"Everyone whole?" muttered Ray

Kozik sighed "Prospect didn't make it."

"Shit"

"Want to tell us what the hell happened out there, Ray?" Pete asked his voice full of anger

Chance jumped in for Ray "The intel was good."

"The intel was shit. You lead us into a trap!"

Chance took a few menacing steps towards Pete but Kozik and Happy were quicker, jumping on their feet and got in between the two.

The president was tired of the recriminations. "Enough! If you have an issue with this Pete, keep it for church. We voted this thing. _You_ voted this thing with everyone else here."

Pete shook his head in evident disgust and walked away.

"Where are you going?"

The vice president turned to Ray with a glaring look. "I'm going to call the prospects mother, tell her her only son is dead. Unless you want to do it, Pres?"

The two men glared at each other for a moment before Pete finally left. Ray turned to the other men with a tired look. "Wizz, Stockard take care of the prospect. Rest of you go home and be in church at 9 tomorrow. We will get even."

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	6. The only moment we were alone

**CHAPTER SIX- The only moment we were alone**

Nell took a deep drag closing her eyes savouring the burning feeling of the smoke in her lungs. She was waiting. She had been up for two hours and had been surprised to realise that Ray had slept in the guest bedroom he used in the rare nights he came home. She had been married to him long enough to know something had happened and he had come home to lick his wounds. And sure enough, when she had turned on the TV, it was all over the local news. A shoot out had taken place the night before and the initial reports indicated a drug deal that had gone bad. But Nell knew better. She heard him come in the kitchen and opened her eyes.

"You shouldn't be smoking."

"I don't know if anyone told you Ray, but I already am dying."

He pursed his lips together and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Where's Ella?"

"Out." She took another drag of her cigarette. "You know, she was asking questions about you last night. About what kind of man you used to be. I see so much of you in her, it's frightening. The anger. The pride. The loneliness. I don't want this life for her Ray. I want her to get as far away as possible from this god forsaken house. Because God forbid she ends up like you."

She had spat out the last words with as much as hate as she could muster. That was what had become of their marriage.

Ray finished his coffee and calmly put the empty cup in the sink. "I'm not the reason she's still here Nell." He turned back to face her. "You are."

"You're right. But we both know I'll be dead soon. I need you to promise me you will let her go when I'm gone. No repercussions, no counterparties. No matter what my mistakes were in the past Ray, I know you love her. That you would do anything to protect her even if she hated you for it. But she deserves better. She deserves better than this life. I do not want her to make the same mistakes I did. I need your word so I can go in peace that her life will be different."

Someone else might have missed the imperceptible nod he gave her as an answer, but Nell had been married to Ray for more than twenty five years. She knew that this was his promise to her and that no matter what, he would hold it. After all, Ray Strickland was nothing if not a man of his word.

* * *

><p>Kozik sat at the table exhausted. He hadn't slept much the night before. After he'd gotten home, he'd tried to get some sleep but he had been unable to stop thinking about the events of the night. They had barely escaped with their lives and they all knew that. It wasn't the first time Kozik's life had been on the line, he had been in mortal danger many times before but that night had been different and deep inside he knew why. If he had died, there would have been no one to mourn him. Sure the boys would have for a while but no one would actually miss him, visit his grave, and remember him. He had no family aside from the club; he had never met anyone that meant enough for him to make it serious. He had always been a loner and for the first time that bothered him.<p>

He had felt jealous when Tease had told him about his family, his marriage. He had a life outside a club. A life worth living. Kozik was pushing on thirty and the club was his only life. And for years, it had been enough. But now he wasn't so sure anymore. His thoughts went to the girl, the mysterious girl and how close he had been to kissing her. He wished he had been able to. He wanted to find her. Know her. For the first time, Kozik had realised he wanted more to his life. And why not start with her?

The door to the chapel opened bringing Kozik back to reality and Happy walked into the room followed by Stockhard, Stone, Wizz and Chance. "Hey brother."

"Hey."

The atmosphere was still glum. There was usually banter, jokes about the night before. But today, the men sat one by one in silence. As Wizz took his seat, Ray entered the room. He seemed in the same somber mood he had been the night before. He took his seat and looked around. Every man was sitting at his rightful place. Everyone but Pete and Tease who had been called in to work.

"What time is it?"

"9."

Ray looked at the empty sit with frustration. "Let's start." He hammered the gavel down. "What happened last night will not go unanswered. I know you're all hungry for blood. I know you want retaliation. And we will get even, I promise you that. But we need to do this right.

Kozik looked around him. He had something to say but was unsure of voicing his opinion yet "They knew we were coming, Ray. They had to. They knew when, they knew how. Unless those wetbacks just spend days waiting around in their warehouses for us to drop by, they knew exactly when we were going to hit.

"I agree. Someone sold us out and we will find out who. Because that someone doesn't know it yet, but he's already dead.

"Wizz, where are we with the prospect?"

"Everything is ready. The body will go today, I already called the boys in Arizona and they're making the arrangement. It'll be discreet, at night."

"Thanks." He stood up and unlocked the closet behind him taking out a leather cut. "You all agree with this?"

The truth was the boy probably wouldn't have made it in. But he had died for the club like a dignified soldier and he deserved it. So all the man nodded their approval.

"Alright. Wizz, make sure he gets buried with this."

Ray hammered his gavel again and all the men stood up. "Kozik. Happy"

Kozik looked back at the president and waited until everyone left the room.

"Find Pete."

"Sure."

Happy just nodded as usual sparing as many words as he could.

* * *

><p>"Pete? You in here? "<p>

Ella let herself into the house. She had been banging on her godfather's door for five minutes and he hadn't answered. Yet, she knew he was there because his bike was parked out front and he would never leave the house without she had used the spare key he had given her years put her purse down and noticed the familiar leather cut resting on the nearby couch. "Pete? It's me Elle. I'm coming so please don't be naked."

The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar and she could hear a light snore coming from the room.

"Please be alone too." She whispered to herself before pushing the door open. Pete was on the floor half dressed, an empty bottle of whisky resting next to him.

"Jesus Christ."

She kneeled beside the man she had known all her life and was slightly taken aback by the smell. He had probably drank the whole bottle in one go. She let out a sigh and gently stroke his pepper salt hair when she heard motorcycles outside.

Kozik followed Happy to the house as the taciturn man knocked loudly on the door.

"Pete, come on open up."

After a few seconds, they heard movement inside the house and the door opened.

"Ella?" It took a second for Ella to react to her name. Her eyes were locked on Kozik standing behind Happy with a bewildered look.

"Hey Happy."

Kozik could only stare as his friend hugged the girl he had spent most of the night thinking about.

Happy pulled back. "You know Kozik?"

"No I don't." she replied hurriedly with a pointed look to Kozik. "I'm Ella. Ella Strickland."

Suddenly everything in Kozik's world shifted. He had heard of Ray's daughter as a snotty brat who hated anything to do with the club which was why they had never been introduced. Well, until now.

"Kozik." He offered in turn but she was already turning her attention back to Happy "He is in the bedroom."

"Is he okay?"

"He's going to be nursing a hell of a hangover but yeah he's okay."

Happy nodded to Kozik "Come on."

They made their way to the bedroom but not before Kozik took a look back at Ella. She kinked her eyebrow as if daring him to say something. They walked into the bedroom and Kozik let out of a big sigh. "You got to be kidding me."

Happy was already bending towards Pete. "Help me out." They pulled the VP up and put his arms around their shoulders before carrying him to the bathroom. They put his body in the shower and Happy turned the cold water faucet on. Pete came to almost right away. "What the fuck!"

Happy smiled wickedly "The man is awake!"

"Jesus Christ, Happy. Turn it off!"

Satisfied Happy complied and turned it off. "Sort your shit out man, we got business." And just like that he turned on his heels and walked out.

"You want to help me out here?" Pete barked at Kozik's attention

Kozik held out his hand and pulled him up. "What the hell happened man?"

"The Arsonist is dead."

"What?"

"His old lady called me last night. She was hysterical. They cut him open and left him on the parking lot of the club."

"Jesus man, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too. Now get out of here"

Kozik exited the bathroom closing the door behind him and walked back to the kitchen. Ella was standing by the coffee machine.

"Happy is outside making a phone call."

His eyes were trained on her aflame with resentment.

"You know I can actually see the steam coming out of your brain." She continued a self-satisfied smug on her face.

"Yeah? Can you also guess what I'm thinking?" he retorted in a hard tone.

Ella just smiled flirtatiously which infuriated him. Now that the shock had gone, he was bloody pissed off. He took quick steps towards her.

"You knew who I was from the beginning. Did you have fun playing with me?"

"You have to be two to play Kozik."

"Except I didn't know who the fuck you were."

"Well then maybe there's a lesson to be learned here. Try and learn a girl's name before you try and get into her pants."

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart."

She smiled at the recall. She had used that same sentence with him the day before. "Why are you getting so worked up Kozik? Afraid big bad Ray is going to find out you've been sweet talking his daughter?

"You know it's my bad. They did warn me about Ray's stuck up brat. I should have put two and two together."

Ella opened her mouth to retort but the door opened and Happy reappeared.

"Kozik man, we got to go"

Kozik glared a last time at Ella for good measure before walking away in silence slamming the door behind him. Ella's smile faltered. She hadn't been able to stop her smartass retorts but she had to admit that she had been surprised by the vehemence in his tone. Pete entered the kitchen and she quickly pushed her thoughts aside.

"Well, if it isn't the guy who tried to drink the whole bar by himself."

"Hey kid."

She stood up and hugged him tightly. "It's good to see you." She pulled away and walked to the counter where she had left a cup of coffee for him. "I made some coffee. I figured you could use it." She sat back at the table facing him. "What's going on Pete? This isn't like you. At least, it hasn't been in a long time."

Pete had spent years battling a chronic addiction to the alcohol. He still drank but he had learned to do so in moderation which was why Ella was worried about her godfather falling off the wagon again.

"It's nothing. Just club shit."

"Of course."

"What did you come here for anyway?" he quickly added changing the subject.

"Mum's stock is getting low. I thought you could help."

Pot. Ever since Nell had started her chemotherapy, Pete had been providing her with marijuana to help her deal with the pain.

"How is she doing?"

"I don't know. The new treatment has been hard on her. You should come see her sometime. I know she misses you."

Pete avoided her gaze." Yeah, I just been busy dealing with some shit. I'll get you what you need."

"Thanks."

"Kozik and Happy took off?"

She nodded. "So this new guy Kozik? Is he a transfer?"

"Yeah. Mother Charter."

She hadn't known that. It was curious for Kozik to have transferred from the mother charter, the charter most guys would give an arm to be a part of to move to Tacoma.

"He's a good guy. Great mechanic. The girls love him." Pete chuckled.

Ella couldn't help a ping of jealousy but brushed it off. She had sworn to herself the night before she'd stay clear of Kozik and now that he finally knew who she was, she wouldn't even have to avoid him. No Son in their right mind would come any close to her. She should have been relieved that the situation was back in control. But instead of relief, she just felt something close to disappointment. Something she definitely couldn't understand.

* * *

><p>Ray pushed open the door to the diner and stepped in, Chance trailing close behind. They scanned the morning crowd and spotted Desmond Banks, seated in a booth his closest lieutenant by his side, both nursing a steaming coffee.<p>

Desmond Banks was the 25 year old president of the Niners Tacoma branch. Despite his young years, he was a long time member who had recently taken the gavel when his brother Lucius Banks was killed during a shoot out with a rival gang. He was full of nervous energy and had a tendency to speak before thinking which would no doubt get him into trouble very quickly in this world. But he also had a running hatred for the Mayans which worked in the Sons favor. Ray made his way towards them and sat in the booth. "Desmond."

"You're late."

Ray did not respond instead taking the time of lighting a cigarette without taking his eyes off Desmond.

"You want to tell me what the hell we're doing in this joint? We were expecting a delivery today."

Ray let out a long trail of smoke. "I don't give a rat's ass about your expectations son. You lied to us."

"I didn't lie to nobody." Des interjected agitatedly

"I lost one of my boys because of your so-called Intel. "

"Hey, yo , the Intel was good. Your boys messed it up."

Ray stood up calmly "I think it's time for you to find a new gun source."

"Wow, wow, calm down alright, calm down. Sit down old man."

Chance's phone started ringing and he looked up at Ray who nodded to him to go before sitting back down. "What do you want?"

"The Mayans knew exactly when we were coming. They were waiting for us. I want the son of a bitch who sold us out."

"It wasn't my guys."

Ray shifted forward with a menacing look. "I don't give a shit if it was. Somebody did. I want a name."

"Alright."

"We deal with him. _**Us**_ not you."

"Fine. Now what about my guns?"

"Find me the rat. Then we can talk about your guns."

He stood up and joined Chance who was just hanging up the phone. "You're not going to believe this. That was Romero. He wants a meet. Today."

Ray took this new information in. "Set it up. Call Happy and Kozik. Tell them I want them with this."

"Already done, they're on their way."

* * *

><p>Augusto Romero hang up the phone and watched from the window as the cops retreated in their cars and left. They had tried to question him about the warehouses that had been the scene to a shoot out the night before. Of course, they had no way of tying the shooting to him or his club but it didn't mean they wouldn't try. They'd probably use it as an excuse to knock on every known gang in Tacoma. That was why Augusto hadn't wanted the ambush with the Sons. They already had too much shit to deal with without giving an excuse to the cops and maybe even the feds to start breathing down their necks. It was bad for business. But the truth was he was starting to lose his sway with the club, as old members died or were sent to prison and new young dogs stepped in, ready to follow his nephew Juan anywhere. It was how he became vice president. Soon Augusto knew he would be irrelevant to the club and they would try to out him. For good. THey had to be dealt with, quashed. They had to understood he didn't become president on of the biggest Mayan Charters by playing nice and if they tried to take him out, he wasn't going without a fight.<p>

* * *

><p>Ella couldn't get her conversation with Kozik out of her mind. She had tried to brush it off, to get her mind off of it but it hadn't worked. She knew what most of the club members thought about her and it had never bothered her before, but somewhat coming out of Kozik's mouth, the words had hurt a little.<p>

The truth was that as much as she wanted to believe Kozik was the same man as her father, there was something about him, something Ella couldn't quite point out, but it told her that there was something more about him than a mindless brute.

Of course, she knew why he had been so angry with her. Despite their name, the Sons of Anarchy had a very strict set of rules. Some spoken, some unspoken like this one. Club members didn't go chasing after other club members daughters. They were off limits. Especially the president's daughter. Especially Ray's nineteen year old daughter. If anyone had found out that Kozik, freshly arrived from Charming, had been sweet talking the pres' daughter, he could get in serious trouble. She never had had any intention of letting it go anywhere though, and she wouldn't have said a word to anyone but he couldn't know that. Ella realised she was almost home and laughed derisively at herself. She couldn't believe her of all people would let herself agonize over a guy like Kozik so much so that she could drive all the way back to the ranch without even realizing it. She had to let it go. After all, what was done, was done. Now that he knew who she was, he would do his best to avoid her at all costs and she decided was fine with that. She parked her car in the driveway and made her way to the house.

"Mum?" she called out once inside the house

She took the stairs and walked into her mother's bedroom. "Mum?". She noticed the light in the bathroom was on and picked up her pace, a bad feeling coming over her.

Ella found her mother lying on the cold floor unconscious and got on her knees. "Mum! Wake up! Mum!". She checked her mother's pulse realizing her mother wasn't breathing; she took out her cell phone and dialed 911.

**Please review and let me know you're enjoying this story (or not!), it always puts a smile on my face!**


	7. When the light dies out

**Chapter VII – When the light dies out**

Kozik and Happy got out of the building blinded by the summer sun and made their way back to Ray, Pete and Chance who all stood at the front. Chance had chosen a abandoned factory for the meet and Kozik and Happy had been asked to check out the surroundings make sure that if required they had a gateway.

As they walked silently, the killah shot his friend a look. He seemed distracted; his head wasn't in the game. "Hey, Kozik, you alright brother?"

"What?"

"You've been acting all weird since we left Precious Pete's house. All silent and shit."

He had to look pretty out of it if Happy was asking questions."I'm good man. Just thinking through some stuff."

"Whatever shit is, forget about it and pull your head out of your ass. We need you with your head in the game."

Kozik couldn't agree more. But forgetting about it, about her was easier said than done. He was furious. He couldn't believe he had let himself be played like a school boy. The little princess had toyed with his mind, getting herself under his skin making him want things he shouldn't have wanted and she had turned out to be Lethal Ray's daughter. And yet, it wasn't what pissed Kozik off the most. He realised he had_ liked_ her. He had actually _wanted_ to know her and now there was nothing he could do about it. She was off limits. He would have to stay as far away from Ella Strickland as he could and in the end he realised that _that _was what bothered him the most. But Happy was right, he had to set anything else aside and get his head in the game. "Yeah, man."

They reached the group and Happy nodded to Chance "Where's Romero?"

"On his way."

Kozik couldn't help but notice the tension between Ray and Pete. Even unspoken, it was still clear as day. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of roaring motorcycles. He looked up and saw four motorcycles drive in their direction. Ray's phone range and he looked at the caller ID before silencing it as Romero made his way towards them flanked by three other Mayans

"What happened to coming alone Ray?"

"Guess I didn't trust you to keep your word. Looks like I was right"

Romero smirked. They both knew that there was no way in hell that two presidents of rival charters would show up to a meet without reinforcements. "Shall we?"

Ray lead the way and the two men moved away from the group leaving their men to stare each others down. "You ever feel the weight of the years, Ray?"

"Please don't tell me you brought me all the way here to get fucking philosophical on me."

Romero let out a small laugh. "No. I just think about it a lot lately. You know, drugs is a dangerous business. Last ten years, I lost most of my trusted men fighting the black and the chinese. Those who are not in prison are dead. The men you see there are what's left. So I had to renew the ranks, let in a few bad seeds. "

"Let me guess, we're talking about your VP?"

Romero avoided the question and lit a cigarette. "I think it's time for a clean up amongst the Mayan ranks. "

"That's very wise."

"Change will not happen quickly Ray. I need you to hold off on retaliation."

"Are you fucking delusional? I lost a man. My men lost a brother. They want blood. And I'm going to give it to them."

"And I will give bit to you. But I need time. Juan has a strong hold over current members. I need to set up some alliances outside my charter to out him. But I understand your men need for blood. I'm ready to give you the rat who gave you out to Juan. In exchange you hold off on any retaliation."

Ray looked at Romero, trying to decide whether he could trust the man to hold his part of the bargain. "The name."

Romero smiled knowing they had reached an understanding. "Lenny Cox. All I know is he lives out of town."

"Romero, this is a stay of execution. But don't take too long to clean house, or our deal is off. And I'm coming for you." Ray concluded threateningly before walking back towards his men.

"We have the rat's name. Lenny Cox. I want an address on this son of bitch."

"Lenny?" Pete exclaimed. "That's the club's bouncer. I know where he lives."

"Let's move then. Chance call the others and have them meet us."

If his men were wondering what else had been said between Romero and Ray, none of them asked openly. They knew better than to question Lethal Ray when he was on a mission.

* * *

><p>Ella let out a frustrated sigh before throwing her phone back into her purse. She had been trying to get a hold of Ray since the ambulance had showed up at the ranch. Once they reached the hospital, her mother had been taken in straight away and Ella had been asked to remain in the waiting room. She had been pacing for the last half an hour waiting for someone to give her news. The doors finally opened and Ella's recognized her mothers' doctor walking towards her.<p>

"Ella"

"How is she?"

"We've managed to stabilize her and put her on oxygen. She's awake."

Ella felt a huge sense of relief come over her it was short lived as he looked at the doctors sombre face and saw he was not done. He seemed to search for the right words for a moment before continuing." Ella, your mother's body is shutting down. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to fight."

"What...what does that mean?"

"I think it's best to say your goodbyes."

Elle felt like someone had punched her in the stomach and struggled to breathe. Of course, she had known her mother's health was deteriorating and had reached a critical stage. But knowing is different from living it and she felt like she had just been thrown in quick sand and couldn't move. Things were moving too quickly, she still had so many things she wanted to tell her mother, things she wanted to do with her, she didn't have a clue of how to begin to say goodbye to someone who meant that much to you.

"I don't understand. I just... I'm not ready."

The young doctor looked at her with empathy. "We're never ready to say goodbye but we do. " She thanked him and took a deep breath before following him through the swing doors. He led her to her mother's door room. He gave her an encouraging nod. "She's waiting for you."

Ella slowly opened the door and let herself in the sterile room. Her mother was lying on her back, eyes closed, an oxygen mask on her face. When she saw Ella, she smiled. Ella managed a weak smile in response before making her way to her mother's side.

"Hi" was all she managed to say before breaking down. She let out a sob and hid her face on her mother's bed.

Nell removed her oxygen mask and stroked her daughter's luscious hair. "Ella, my sweet baby."

Ella took a hold of herself and straighten up to face her mother. "I'm so sorry mum."

"You have nothing to apologise for, baby." She caressed her daughter's cheek. "I'm so glad to see you."

Elle closed her hand on her mother. "I'm not ready to lose you."

"You are never going to lose me, Ella. My beautiful baby girl. I am right here and my love for you will never die."

"I love you too mum."

"Would you do me a favour? Would you read for me? I'm feeling quite tired."

Ella looked at her mother with all the love in the world. "Yes."

* * *

><p>Kozik waited for the signal from Happy and kicked the door in and they ran into the run down house followed by Ray and the rest of the brothers. As per the plan, they all divided searching the house for the rat. He had been searching in the bedrooms and it was obvious no one was here. "Clear." One by one, the boys came back with the same conclusion.<p>

Chance walked back from the kitchen. "Asshole must have known we'd come for him and went in hiding."

Ray was seething, he did not like playing cats & mouse. Fuming, he lifted the coffee table with one hand and sent it flying against the wall. "Son of a bitch! Find him, take this place apart inch by inch if you have to!I want him found!"

Pete appeared, running back from the back of the house. "Ray, that was Ella. it's Nell, she's at the hospital. It's bad man. We got to go."

Ray's face remained unreadable. He didn't look panicked, or even surprised. He looked back at Chance and repeated. "I want him found." before following Pete outside. Happy and Kozik looked at each other then at Chance wondering what they should do. " Jimmy, you stay with me, Teas and Blind Tom. Wiz, get back to the range and see what you can find out with your magic fingers. Hap Kozik you watch their backs."

Kozik nodded, although the last thing he wanted to do was head to the hospital and take the risk to bum into little miss sunshine but then he could hardly explain that to the guys so he just followed Happy as they took their bikes to catch up to the president and his VP.

* * *

><p>The ride didn't take long and after catching up to Ray and Pete, they were at the hospital in ten minutes.<p>

They asked for their way and followed the indications until they reached a long corridor and spotted Ella sitting straight up on a chair, staring off into the distance . Kozik and Happy remained back respectfully as the older men made their way to her.

Pete called out to her "Ella!"

She looked up but her face betrayed no reaction. She stood up as they reached her.

"Where is she?"

The question had come from her father. His voice finally seemed to bring her back to reality. "I've been calling you for hours, I left you a dozen voicemails." She said in a very detached manner.

"I was busy. Where is she?"

She sniggered softly "You were busy? That's it, that's all you have to say?"

"I don't have to justify myself to you Ella. "

"You're right, I really hope that whatever it was, it was worth it ignoring your dying wife for."

Ray clenched his jaw, his patience running out. "Elle, where is she?!"

"She's gone, Ray! She's dead. She stopped breathing an hour ago. But I guess you were too busy to listen to your voicemail." She spat before walking away.

Pete tries to stop her catching her arm. "Elle…"

She removed her arm violently "Don't!" and ran off. As she passed, Kozik had to fight the urge to stop her. He had to remind himself that she was Ray's daughter and none of his concern. But he knew of the pain of losing a parent and he did wish he could bear some of the pain for her. He reverted his look to Ray who had not moved an inch since Ella had told him his wife was dead.

Pete patted his old friend's back. " Ray..."

"I have to see her."

"Okay. Hap', call Wiz at the clubhouse and tell him to get Dorothy to the ranch. She'll know what to do. Tell the rest of guys to get to the range. I'll stay with Ray."

"No. I want a location on Lenny Cox."

"Ray, we can deal with this later."

"We're dealing with it now." He looked at Pete. "Get me an address."

* * *

><p>After sending away Pete, Ray had talked to a doctor and asked to see his wife's body. Although it wasn't protocol once the body was moved, the young doctor had known better than to refuse a man like Ray Strickland so he had lead the old man to the basement where the morgue was and let him in the cold room while he pulled the white sheet over the body of the woman Ray had met nearly 30 years ago.<p>

"I'd like a minute with her."

The doctor seemed to hesitate and once again decided it was best to just do as asked.

Ray took a nearby stool and sat beside the woman he had been married with for 25 years.. She was as beautiful as the day they had met. He had been taken with her from the moment he had laid his eyes on her and had believed he would never be able to look at another woman. After a short courtship, they had married and he had sworn to love her until death do them part. And he did love her. He had never stopped. He loved his daughter too even if they couldn't see it sometimes. Somewhere along the line he had lost them. He knew that. One day, Nell had looked at him and the love and respect in her eyes had been replaced with something else, a mixture of fear and contempt. Unable to face her, to look at the disappointment in her beautiful eyes, he had stopped sharing her bed and taken to other women to forget the pain of losing the love o f his life. Women who were more than happy to have a little attention from the MC president. But none of them had even begun to compare to Nell. No one ever would. It was now too late to change the past or to ask for her forgiveness. She was dead. He thought about the last conversation he had had with his wife. He had tried to hurt her, remarking she was the one holding their daughter back. He thought of the promise he had tacitly made to her. Maybe this would be his way to forgiveness. Protecting their daughter from a life in the MC even if that meant never seeing her again.

Ray stood and kissed Nell on her forehead whispering. " I promise." before leaving the cold room.

* * *

><p>Pete had decided to wait for Ray at the hospital despite his orders. The rest of the guys were already working on locating Lenny and there wasn't much he could do. Besides, he had needed a few moments to gather himself. Nell's death was a shock. He tried to remember the last time he had seen had been a few weeks back, she had surprised him by coming to see him at the house, something she rarely did anymore.<p>

"_Nell?"_

"_Hi Pete."_

_She was sitting on the steps leading to his house. he wondered how long she had been waiting for him._ "_What are you doing here?"_

"_I was at the doctors, I just thought I'd drop by. I used to do it all the time, remember?"_

"_Nell..."_

"_Do you ever wonder? What would have happened? If you'd come with us that summer?" As he didn't reply, she just continued. "I think about it a lot. Even more lately. You would have been a great father Pete. Ella would have loved a little brother. Or wouldn't have mattered. He'd be 10 now. "_

_Pete bowed his head. He never allowed his thoughts to dwell on the past. Not anymore. It had taken him a long time to get over the guilt of what had happened that summer. He had done his best to pretend it hadn't and in his memory it was so foggy that he sometimes believed it had all been a bad dream. _

_The story began banally. They were two lonely people looking for a way to ease their pain and had found each other. He longed for the family he never had and she let him have that. In exchange, she found the companionship she so craved and he always thought that him being Ray's right arm in the MC was a big part of the attraction. Oh sure, they had loved each other but sticking it to Ray by leading a full blown affair with his best friend was definitely a bonus. So when she had found herself pregnant with absolutely no doubt on who the father was, since Ray had already stopped sharing her bed, they had devised a plan for them to leave and be the family they wanted to be. He had arranged the whole thing and on a June morning, Nell and her daughter waited until Ray had gone to the range before leaving forever. The plan was for Pete to join them a few months later when the baby was about to arrive and they were sure that Ray couldn't find them. But Nell's father had gotten sick and Pete made the mistake of letting her know on a rare phone conversation. Without telling him, she came back to down with the intention of saying her goodbyes and going back to Ella. But Ray had been waiting for her at the hospital and the rest was history. Knowing what would happen if Ray found out she was pregnant with another man's baby, a few days later, Nell had arranged an appointment at the clinic and that Pete had drunk himself into oblivion. And even though he had gotten his drinking under control after a few years, he knew it wouldn't have taken much for him to be a full blown alcoholic barely able to function let alone ride. It was only this perspective that kept him somehow sober._

"_I know you blame me. For letting him find me, letting him bring me back here. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't have had to give up my baby. Our baby." _

_He had so many regrets about what had happened but no he had never blamed her for any of it. "I don't Nell. It just... wasn't meant to be. Why did you come here Nell?"_

"_It's over Pete. The doctors stopped all treatment. They're giving up. I guess I was just coming to say goodbye or maybe I just needed to hear you say this." She had kissed him softly on the lips and left him alone with his regrets. _

Pete was so lost in his memories, he didn't even hear Ray come up to him. "Chance just called. We got him. He's at his old lady's house in Lakewood. Let's go."

And without a word, the vice-president followed.


	8. Don't go to pieces

**Thanks for the reviews/follows, please keep them coming, it is good to know people enjoy the story. I will try and post the next chapter very soon as I really want to get the story moving along but in the meanwhile don't hesitate to check out my other story "In bed with the enemy." (cheeky of me i know!)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8– Don't go to pieces...**

After running from the hospital, Ella had driven back to the ranch, finding refuge in her mother's bed. She wanted to take in the smell, remember every detail of it. She closed her eyes and willed herself to remember. She would have spent forever in there if the sound of a doorbell hadn't forced her to leave the security of her mothers' world and return to the real one. She had opened the door knowing it would be someone from the club. After all Simon was still manning the gates despite his obvious sadness at the news. It had been Dorothy Wiz's wife. Wiz's wife Dorothy had shown up about a half an hour ago shortly followed by Marie, Tease's wife. Soon after, old ladies and crow eaters had invaded the kitchen, cooking for what would obviously become a big gathering. She had hated the forced hugs she kept getting from everyone. It was so hypocritical. Her mother had hated the club and everything it represented. And the club hated her back.

Ella didn't hate Dorothy, and she actually liked Marie, but the last thing she felt like doing was making conversation to people who didn't know who her mother was. So Ella had taken refuge in her bedroom, trying to ignore the rustling that was taking place downstairs. It must have been 95 degrees outside but yet she kept shivering so she decided to try and warm up with a shower. She let the hot water batter her body for a long time unable to think straight. It was like her brain had been shut down and she kept thinking about the most trivial things like which dress she should take to the funeral house for her mother or which lipstick she might like. After what seemed like hours, she got out and once dressed she sat on her bed unsure of what to do next.

Her thoughts went back to her mother. She was always the perfect hostess. No matter who was at her table, no matter what humiliation she had to swallow that, she would always hold her head up high and smile when her guests arrived. Ella remembered how as a kid she used to sit on the stairs and watch her parents entertain the rest of the club. Ella never recognized her mother in the woman who laughed at dirty jokes, asked about kids she thought were rude, or complied with the complex hierarchy within the club. That woman was so different from the Nell she saw on a daily basis. But as she grew up, her mother explained to her there were duties that came with being the president's wife. Duties that could not be ignored. Ella had never quite grasped why after everything that went on behind closed doors, things everyone knew but no one admitted to, her mother still felt like she had to play along with the charade. It was her duty she always said by way of explanation. The last thing Ella wanted to do was disappoint her mother especially today. So she made a decision and raised her head up high closing her eyes as if she could somehow bottle in all the pain she felt. Once she was satisfied that she was in control, she stood up, straighten her skirt and made her way downstairs.

From outside the kitchen, she could hear the comments, the laughs between the women. Hearing them, she understood why they always claimed to be a "family". To the untrained eye, they might have all seemed like sisters teasing one another.

Ella entered the kitchen and as soon as they realised her presence the laughter stopped.

Marie walked to her, but thankfully her huge belly prevented her from attempting a hug. Instead she just rubbed her back like her mother used to do when she was a kid "How are you doing, honey?"

"I'm fine. What can I do?"

She didn't miss the looks they all threw each other but it was Dorothy who replied. "Sure you don't want to get some rest, sweetheart? There is going to be a lot of people here in the next couple of days."

"I'm fine."

Dorothy was about to reply when the kitchen door opened and Ella instantly recognized the woman. It was Darcy, her father's lover.

It was like the air of the room suddenly got sucked out. No one moved or said a word. They all knew about her father's affair with Darcy and worse they all knew she knew.

"Hi Ella. I'm... sorry about your mum."

Ella looked at her trying to summon the contempt and the hate she had felt so many times to the bear mention of her name. But she found that she didn't have the energy for it. Her mother was dead. Nothing else mattered to her at that instant,

Dorothy cleared her throat and turned to Darcy. "You should probably leave, hun. You being here..."

"Let her stay."

The whole room turned to Ella. They couldn't quite believe that those words had come out of her mouth. To be honest, she couldn't quite believe it herself. Ella had blamed her many times over for hurting her mother but the truth was Darcy was just a lost kid who needed a family and found the Sons. In exchange she had accepted to offer her charms to a man who would never love her.

Darcy shot her a grateful look before busying herself. The sight of group of women of which Ella would never be a part, women she would never understand in her mother's kitchen suddenly got too much. "Actually, , I think you're right I should probably get some rest."

"Okay hon'. You let me or Marie know if you need anything."

* * *

><p>Lenny was sick of hiding. It had been two days since the ambush on the Sons and he felt like a lion in a fucking cage. Juan had guaranteed him a lot of money for his services. He had also promised none of the Sons would be around to seek retribution. So far, he had failed to deliver on any of his promises. He sighted thinking about what he done for Juan. Killing the Arsonist had never been part of the plan but the kid had gotten suspicious when he had started asking questions about the sons and Lenny couldn't let him voice his paranoia to anyone else.<p>

Lenny took a long swig out of his beer finishing it. "Hey Tina baby, bring me a cold one would ya?" he exclaimed lighting a cigarette.

When she didn't respond, he called her out. "Baby?"

She appeared at the threshold of the door and he smiled at her until he read the expression on her face and registered the terror in her eyes. He stood up but before he could make a move, she was shoved to the floor and the room was invaded by the Sons all pointing their guns at him. Precious Pete walked to him and Lenny didn't see his fist coming until it was already hitting him, smashing against his stomach like a goddamn freight train. "Hey Lenny."

Lenny buckled from the force of the blow and he fell to his knees. Pete quickly followed with several punches in the face and Lenny went down tasting bile and blood. He could hear Tina screaming in the background but he couldn't see her. He heard one of the men tell her to shut the fuck up and Lenny tried to say something but he didn't get the chance. Pete's foot caught him off guard. He felt a cracking noise in his ribs and doubled over, gasping for air. He felt Pete's fingers grip his hair and pull him up. "Stand up."

"Pete, man, I can explain."

"Shut up." The order had come from their President. Lethal Ray. Lenny shifted his look to face him. His vision was blurred by the stream of blood coming from his eyebrow but he could see enough to shiver under Ray's eyes of steel trained on him. The room went entirely silent as if the air had suddenly been sucked out. The only sound you could hear was Tina's quiet sobs. Lenny knew that in all probability he would be dead in the next few minutes, but he had to try and protect her.

"She has got nothing to do with this."

Ray continued to stare right into him, emotionless. "I know."

Lenny felt himself relax slightly. Maybe he would be able to save her. After all, the Sons didn't have a reputation for hurting women and innocents.

Kozik shot Pete a questioning look. The tension in the room was palpable and He wasn't sure what they were supposed to do now. And by the looks on his brothers' face, none of them knew. Ray's eyes were burning into Lenny but it was like he was looking through him. He seemed elsewhere, as if lost in thoughts,. The girlfriend tried to move again and Chance told her to calm the fuck down if she didn't want to get hurt. Ray suddenly seemed to snap out of it.

"Chance, bring me the girl."

Chance obeyed and gripping the girl by her hair he dragged her across to the President.

"Nah, man I told you she has nothing to do with this." Lenny pleaded

Tease shot Kozik a look of incomprehension. Precious Pete threw Lenny back on the couch and turned to his best friend "Ray?"

Ray looked at him with cold, unfazed eyes and grabbed Tina from Chance. He took her arm violently and sat her down with force so that she was facing Lenny. Trails of tears were running down either side of her face, her lip was split.

"Please let her go man. You can have me, she didn't do anything."

"Do you love her Lenny?"

"What?"

Ray cocked up his gun and put it on the girls head, gripping her hair so she couldn't get away. She screamed in fear. The guys threw each other bewildered looks all wondering what the hell Ray thought he was doing.

Pete was starting to get very nervous about what the President might do "Ray."

The President ignored them and repeated. "I said do you love her?"

"Yes, man, I...I love her."

"You would anything for her right?"

"Yeah."

Would you die for her Lenny?" Ray tightening his grip on her hair."

Lenny swallowed hard."Yeah. Now please let"

"Please man" Lenny begged him closing his eyes.

"Open you eyes."

"Please."

"Open your eyes!"

Lenny did as he was told but instead of looking at Ray he looked at the woman he loved.

"You failed her Lenny. You were meant to protect her and instead you put her life in danger because of your greed." Ray seemed to relax his tight grip on Tina and Lenny eyes darted back to Ray "This is on you." Ray announced softly before pulling the trigger.

Blood exploded across the room as the young woman's lifeless body fell to the floor under the shocked eyes of the Sons. None of them had expected Ray to actually pull the trigger.

After a moment of stunned silence, Lenny wailed "Nooooooooooooooo!"

"Jesus Christ!" Pete exclaimed.

Ray had not shifted his look from Lenny for even one second. "Finish him." He ordered before walking out of the living room and into the kitchen. They all stood in silence, stunned by what had just taken place. Lenny was crying softly over his old lady's body. Pete approached him and shot him twice in the back of the head. The old man looked up at his brothers "Let's go." he said softly before leaving without another word.

* * *

><p>Ella woke up and immediately saw it was dark out. She checked her watch and realised she had been asleep for hours. She could hear loud voices coming from downstairs and knew that the club was there. Her thoughts quickly flicked to Kozik but she dismissed them and admonished herself for thinking about a guy in those circumstances.<p>

She went to the bathroom to freshen up and checked her reflection in the mirror. She was a scary sight. She had cried herself to sleep and dried streams of tears could still be seen on her cheeks, her eyes were swollen for crying and her hair was a tangled mess. She splashed her face with water and brushed her hair.

She picked out new clothes from her wardrobe and changed before checking herself in the mirror again. It was better.

She felt strangely detached, like she was on automatic pilot as if the events of the last twenty four hours were happening to someone else. She was lucid enough to know she was still in shock and the enormity of her mother's death would probably hit her later, but for now she was grateful that she could still feel in control. She gathered herself and decided it was time to make an appearance downstairs.

Kozik was standing with Tease and Wiz in the foyer, drinking beer. The place was absolutely packed. Three charters had already made their way to Tacoma and it was likely that others would follow suit. The family man was still flabbergasted by what had taken place that afternoon. "This is messed up, Koz. We don't kill women. If that's what we're about now, I..."

Koz put a hand on his shoulder. "His old lady just died man, he probably just lost it."

Wiz looked up and saw Ella making her way down the stairs. "Boy, let's keep it for church."

Kozik saw her and was amazed at how different she looked from the girl he had met a few weeks before. She was still beautiful but it was like the fire in her had been extinguished. Her eyes were empty, void of any emotion. They kept flicking through as if she couldn't fix her gaze for too long. Once again, Kozik had to resist the urge to comfort her. Tease spotted her and open his arms. "Hey Elle."

"Hey David." He held her tight for a moment before letting go and then it was Wiz turn to wrap his arms around her. "I'm sorry Kid."

"Thanks."

She looked at kozik and Wiz intervened. "Have you guys met?"

Kozik nodded affirmatively. He knew he was supposed to say something but words didn't feel quite enough. "Sorry about your mum."

She locked her eyes in his and Kozik thought he saw her eyes tear up as if she could finally let her defences down. It was gone as suddenly as it had appeared but it rattled him. They were taken out of the moment when the door opened. Kozik turned around and recognized his old charter, lead by Clay Morrow coming in. He spotted Kozik and opened his arms.

"Hey Brother."

"Hey Clay."

"Where's the old man?"

"He's in here somewhere."

"It's awful shit man."

"Yeah, but it's good that you guys are here."

Ella watched attentively as Kozik hugged his old brother in arms one by one with the exception of one. He had black jet curly hair, piercing blue eyes and his patch designated him as the sergeant at arms. Could he be the reason Kozik had left the mother charter?

She was interrupted in her thoughts by a husky feminine voice. "My condolences about your mother sweetheart." Ella turned to the woman and knew who she was straight away. They had never met but her reputation far preceded her. She was the Queen Bee by excellence. The mothers of the mothers. Gemma Teller Morrow in the flesh. Ella nodded her gratitude before the older woman continued. "Let the boys go around their business and let's go see the girls." She didn't wait for an answer and led the way, Ella following behind.


	9. This could kill me

**Thanks ever so much for all the reviews, follows & favorites, I really love waking up and finding loads of email in my inbox! It's just a great start to my day so please continue!**

Chapter 9 – This could kill me

It was an hour before Ella was able to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the kitchen. As soon as she had gotten in, Gemma had taken over, bossing the girls around as she smoked cigarettes. It had been strangely fascinating to watch the women interact with the Charming Queen. The reverence they showed her, the admiration in their voices but what really intrigued Ella was the fear in their eyes. Ella could swear she had seen some of the girls hold their breath when Gemma had first entered the room. The only other person Ella had ever known to have that effect was her father, Ray. And that definitely said something about the woman.

Ella's thought went back to the conversation she'd just had with Gemma Teller Morrow. After food had been served and eaten, the crowds had moved outside to enjoy the coolness of the night. Ella was sitting on the porch observing as people drunk, smoked and laughed. To the outside eye, this would have looked more like a big party than a wake.

"It's a beautiful house. Your mom had taste."

Ella turned around startled and saw Gemma Teller smiling at her. For some reason, Ella felt that although the words had been nice, the woman didn't hold a high opinion of her mother.

"Yes, she did."

Gemma nodded towards the bench. "You mind?"

"Knock yourself out."

Gemma sat next to her and lit a cigarette, scanning the crowd like a queen scanning her court, smiling as Wiz delivered the punch line of a story that was captivating his audience. "It's going to be a great turn out."

"Isn't that perfect?" Ella hadn't even tried to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Gemma turned to her raising an eyebrow. "You sound like you have a problem with that?"

Ella let out a sad laugh "She would have hated it. All of it." Ella hadn't meant to say the words out loud but they had been out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Gemma pondered her words and shrugged. "Probably." She saw Ella's questioning look "I know your mum didn't like the club or anything to do with it. She probably thought the club was the reason for all her problems. It happens sometimes with old ladies. Things just don't take. But those people out there. They are all here because they love, respect and admire your father. They would put themselves between you and a bullet any time of the day because of that. That's the kind of family you've got here. It doesn't come often. But your mother never understood that."

Ella "It's got nothing to do with love. It's about power and fear. And you're right, she never understood that, neither do I. So please spare me the speech about family. _My_ family died with my mother. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go feed the horse."

She stood up and stomped away. _Girl is feisty_, Gemma though with a smirk. _I'll give her that._

* * *

><p>"Are we going to talk about what happened today, Ray?"<p>

Ray sighted but did not turn around. He was staring at the darkened land, his back to the crowds. His wife had loved that land. She had been born here, grown up running those fields, they had even gotten married in the small patio behind the house. Everywhere he looked memories of Nell seemed to follow him. He took a slow drag of his cigarette. He had seen the way his boys were looking at him after what happened this afternoon. Fear, disbelief incomprehension.

He knew they thought he had lost it and shot her out of rage because of his grief over Nell. Maybe they were right on some level. But the truth was that Ray Strickland had always believed in fair retribution. Lenny Cox had chosen to take refuge at his girlfriend's even though he knew that the Sons would be coming after him. That landed on him.

"There's nothing to talk about. What's done is done."

Pete stifled a sharp retort and took a deep breath trying to level with his bereaved friend. "Going around killing women, Ray? It is not what we do and it is not who we are."

"We do what needs to be done, Pete. _That's_ who we are."

"You wanted to break him before you killed him, Ray. You wanted him to feel what you felt. Let's at least be honest with each other. These guys, they would go through fire for you and for this club. We both know that. But they need to understand what they're fighting for and they need to believe in it. They need to know they can still believe in you. "

"Are you questioning my ability to lead this club?" Ray spat with contempt

"I'm questioning your ability to make judgment calls right now. Look I get it, losing Nell…"

"Don't you bring her into this, you son of a bitch!" Ray hissed, pointing a menacing finger at his friend making him take a step back. It was the first emotion he had shown since the beginning of the conversation, it was raw and downright scary. "I'm the president of this club! I make the tough calls. If you can't get behind that, then, I suggest you think long and hard about whether you still deserve to wear that kutte."

"I love this club just as much as you do Ray. Maybe even more. And _I_ would never compromise its integrity."

Ray let out a growl. "I really suggest you watch it Pete."

Pete shook his head bitterly "Or what? You're going to put a bullet through my brain too?"

Ray's face suddenly hardened his stare burning holes into Pete. "I just might." The words had been spoken softly but his voice was cold as death and Pete knew his president meant them.

Pete threw up his hands in disgusted resignation "You're going to lose this club Ray. Just like you lost her"

He let the words hang between them before walking away. Ray refrained the urge to lunge at his vice-president. There would be a time to settle this, but not with three other charters there. Not with Clay Morrow watching them like a hawk. He decided to join the Charming president who was sitting a few yards away. As soon as he approached, Bobby Elvis Munson stood up, nodding respectfully and gave him his seat.

"Everything okay?" Clay enquired innocently.

"Everything's fine."

"You and your VP seemed to be having a pretty intense conversation back there?

"My VP and I are intense people Clay. It's nothing for you to worry about."

Clay knew he was being told to butt out and although he didn't like it, he chose not to push it."Alright brother."

The matter closed, his Sergeant at Arms, Tig Trager called out to Ray. "Hey Ray, who's that sweet little blond with the tight ass talking to Wiz's wife? She belong to anyone?"

Ray looked over and realised Tig was talking about Darcy. There had been an understanding amongst club members that Darcy was not to be passed around ever since he had taken to sleeping with her. She was a sweet kid, she knew her place, didn't ask questions. She had been a good sweet butt." She's all yours."

Tig rubbed his hand, eyes flashing with lust. "Thanks man. Have a great night boys" he grinned at them before walking to Darcy. Ray continued to stare until he saw her turn around a confused look on her face. She looked at him and when he turned his eyes away from her, she understood she was being dismissed, permanently. Tears in her eyes, she took Tig's hand and lead him away seductively.

* * *

><p>Kozik had been watching her most of the night. Even surrounded by all those people, she looked so lonely, almost lost. She was holding her head up high and trying to pretend that none of it affected her but somehow Kozik could see under all bullshit pretenses. So when he had seen her hurriedly make her way towards the stables earlier looking upset, he had followed her. He knew he probably shouldn't have but he reasoned with himself that he just wanted to make sure she was okay. He observed her cautiously approach the horse and pat his muzzle. She unlocked his box whispering words he couldn't here to the animal and they made their way out of the stables. When they reached the paddocks, she opened the fence and guided the stallion through the door. "Go on Storm." he heard her say.<p>

She stood watching as the horse ran around the enclosed space and a contented smile crept up on her face and Kozik was reminded of the first time he'd seen her smile like that. Could it have been only a couple of nights ago? He had been holding her, dancing. Her body had been so close. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Are you going to talk to me or you're just going to keep watching me like some creepy stalker."

She had felt his presence in the stables and known someone was observing her At first, she hadn't been sure it was him until she'd caught a whiff of his cologne. She turned on her heels to face him. She was taken aback by the genuine concern she saw in his baby blue eyes. It wasn't something she had expected to see.

"Hi." He looked down, rummaging his pockets to hide his embarrassment at being caught staring. He took out his cigarettes and lit one. "Are you okay?"

She cackled and looked at him pointedly, arching an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

He chucked derisively. "Sorry that's was a dumbass question." He held out his cigarettes. "Smoke?"

She took a few steps and accepted the cigarette he was offering. He brought his lighted to her and lit it for her momentarily gazing into her eyes. She held his stare for a minute until he averted his eyes. They stood smoking in silence for a long moment, until Ella couldn't hold it anymore. "Say something please, this silence is just... it's deafening." She pleaded.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked softly.

"Something, anything."

"What's his name?" He nodded towards the paddocks. "The horse."

"Storm."

"I never rode on one of those things."

She shot him an incredulous shocked look. "Really?"

"What? Not everyone gets to grow up in a comfortable and cozy ranch like you." He teased.

It had been aimed as a joke, but Kozik could tell that it was one that had hurt her. She looked away, replying sadly. "Yes that's my life. All ponies and fairy tales."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like that."

As quickly as it had come, the moment of weakness disappeared and she stuck out her chin defiantly. "Sure you did." She said acidly. "Don't back out now."

"It never last long with you does it? One minute we're having a nice conversation and the next you just revert back to being a bitch."

"I didn't ask you to come here, Kozik."

He let out a sigh "It's called being nice, Ella. Might want to try it sometimes."

"Don't do me any favors!" she interjected.

He flicked his cigarette to the floor. "What is your problem?" he retorted, impatient.

She frowned in confusion."Excuse me?"

"You're so wrapped in your hate for us, you don't even see we're just all trying to help."

She threw her hands up in the air. "Oh please tell me you're not going to give me the "we're all one big happy fucking family" Kozik, I already heard it once tonight; I don't think I have the stomach for more." She wagged a finger at him angrily. "You guys are not a family, you are a criminal organization! You don't think I know what happened the other night? You guys show up at the club and the next day, there's a dead body on the car park, a few dead Mexicans in some warehouse north of town and a prospect who suddenly decides to go back to Arizona?" She paused catching her breath. "Does it ever matter to you? The people who get hurt in the process?"

"Those Mexicans were drug dealers Ella, they were not innocent. And the prospect, the arsonist, they knew what they were getting into.

"And that makes it all okay?" she questioned incredulously.

"Yeah. in my book it does."

She couldn't believe her ears, how could he not see how wrong this all was? "Kozik, you run_ guns_ for a living! You sell guns that end up in the hands of those same people! You can rationalize it all you want but you and the Sons are not any different. At the end of the day, you are all just criminals who don't give a shit who you hurt in the process!"

"You know I'm getting so sick of you acting like you above all that shit. You can think what you want of me, of my club, but at the end of the day that's what pays for that pretty comfy life you're living. And those people you hate so much? They might not perfect and they might be criminals but they are all just trying to be there for your family, you could at least appreciate that instead of acting like a superior spoilt brat! He spat venomously before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry about your mum, really I am but you don't have to be alone. You just are."

He stormed off leaving a shell shocked Ella behind. She felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach. "_You don't have to be alone, you just are_." Those were the exact same words that Gillian had told her merely a few days ago, the night she was with Kozik. Could he possibly know? No of course, there was no way. But what was it about him? Why did he keep reading through her as if he knew her? Why did he see what no one else could see?

The truth was she hadn't meant to turn into a bitch. She just hadn't been able to help it. It was a defense mechanism she had perfected over the years and that no one had been able to move past. No one had ever wanted to. But Kozik, he kept pushing her, challenging her. It bothered her that he though of her as a spoilt brat. He was right, she had enjoyed the fruit of Ray's dirty business along the years. The ranch, the horses, the clothes but didn't care about any of it and she would have given away all of that a hundred times over if it brought her mother back.

* * *

><p>Juan Ortega reached the porch and straight away he spotted the door was slightly ajar. He glanced at his friend Arturo standing next to him and they both took out the guns tucked in their waist before cautiously pushing the door open. There wasn't a sound in the house. But Juan could smell it in the air and his eyes widened in horror. It was the smell of dried blood. He flipped on the light and toppled over in shock. Lenny was facedown on the floor, two very apparent bullet wounds through the back of his head. His body rested on Tina, Juan's sister. She looked so peaceful, she could have been asleep if it wasn't for the black hole of a bullet burned on her temple.<p>

"No, no, no, no, no." He kneeled near her, pushing Lenny's cold body and held her close to him. "You got to wake up hermanita, you got to wake up." He was sobbing uncontrollably.

Tina had been his little sister. Their father had died when Juan was 5 and Tina barely a few weeks old. Their mother had raised them alone until her death a few years back when Tina was 20. Since then, she had been his only family. He hated his uncle, Augusto, hated that they were blood related. Juan thought Augusto was weak, old and that he had no idea of how to lead a club. The Tacoma Mayans had gotten their ass handed to them by the Sons for years because he was unable to make the hard decisions. Juan also knew that Augusto had tried to lay his dirty hands on Tina once shortly after their mother had died. Tina had confided in Juan and he had taken a knife to his uncle throat and swore that should he ever try to touch his sister again, he would cut him ear to ear. He knew killing the president of a Mayan charter would be his death warrant but he had meant it. But Augusto had kept his distances with Tina and Juan had decided to do things the smart way and since then, he had tried his best to go up the club's ladder, bringing in friendly club members to earn him more votes and be able to lead the charter in a new direction until the day he would be able to out Augusto and take the gavel. That's why he had pushed for the ambush on the sons and that's why he had convinced his sister's boyfriend, Lenny to work with them. And when things had gone awry, Juan had ordered Lenny to disappear for a while and not contact Tina to protect her from any blow back. He had believed Lenny had obeyed, even Tina had confirmed that she hadn't hear from him that very morning. They had obviously both been lying to him. Juan gritted his teeth. There was an unwritten rule in the underworld. Retaliations didn't blow back on family. His sister had been an innocent in all this but she had been savagely executed and he knew exactly who the executioner was. The Sons of Anarchy. And they would pay for that in ways they didn't even imagine, he would hurt take what was taken from him. An eye for an eye.

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave a review below!**


	10. You got me all wrong

**A special big thanks to DarkChild19 for your review the only one the last chapter had :) - ****I was starting to think the chapter wasn't gonna get any review love!**

**I love Ella and Kozik and what I have in mind for them so this story will definitely be finished, the last two chapters have been quite hard to write as I kept coming up with new ideas but from now on, it should flow quite effortlessly as I have most of it already written and just needing tweaks here and there.**

**I hope people are enjoying this story despite the lack of reviews and since I'm still getting Favs and Follows (thanks so much for that. ) I'm guessing people are reading it and it's the most important thing for me, however don't hesitate to let me know if the story is working for you as it help me know that I'm in the right direction.**

**And now I promise, no more long winded author notes !**

**So here it goes, read, enjoy and review!**

**Chapter X – You got me all wrong**

Ella rolled in her bed fighting with herself trying to get back to sleep. She didn't need to look at a clock to know it was way too early to be up, her internal one was telling her everything she needed to know. After a few minutes, she realised fighting was pointless and wouldn't be getting back to sleep. She opened her eyes blinking as she adjusted to the bright light filtering through the curtains. For a moment, she'd remained still, staring at the ray of sunshine cutting through the room, feeling strangely tranquil until the events of the day before washed over her like a furious wave and it all came back to her, the drive in the ambulance, the extreme warmth of the hospital waiting room, holding her mother's hand as she drew her last breath, the argument with her father, people showing up at the house and…Kozik

She flicked her eyes to the night stand beside her and realised it was barely six am but she felt a surge of nervous energy take control of her body. She pushed the covers and got on her feet before walking to the windows and sliding the velvet curtains open. She took in the landscape, perusing the fields standing in front of her which were bathes in the warm glow of the rising sun. The ranch was always beautiful this time of the year. Summer was ending, but autumn had yet to settle. The colors were the glorious variations of green and yellow of a summer hotter than usual that would soon turn to a burning auburn red come the new season. Ella opened the window and took a deep breath in, closing her eyes to fully appreciate the smell of fresh morning mist was humid and watery but the bright skies told her it was going to be a beautiful day. She let the window open and walked into the en-suite bathroom, catching her reflection in the mirror and wasn't surprised by what she saw. Her eyes were puffy and ugly dark circles had sneakily appeared overnight. Ella let out a resigned sigh. She felt exhausted, having had the hardest time falling asleep, the night before, her mind playing the same words over and over again as she tossed and turned in her bed. _"You don't have to be alone. You just are."_ She shouldn't have cared, she shouldn't have given a damn about what this man thought about her. But yet, despite her best efforts, she had been unable to push him away from her thoughts.

In one swift movement, she took off her camisole, dropped her shorts and panties to the floor kicking them away with her feet and walked in the shower, turning the water on. As the hot water started battering her body, Ella allowed her thoughts to go back to Kozik again. What was it about him? Why was it that despite knowing exactly who he was, _what_ he was, she couldn't shake him? Sure, she was physically attracted to him. She knew that and had admitted as much to Gillian. He was what most girls would describe as a hunk, blond spiky hair, strong arms, and bright blue eyes. But more than anything it was his smile that drew her in everytime. Playful and sexy, his grin was his best feature. There was no denying that her body responded to his presence in a way that she almost couldn't control. But what rattled her the most was the way he kept seeing through her. He had been right that night at the club, about her wanting, _needing_ to be in control. He had been right again about her being alone. Having this man she thought she had figured out within minutes on the side of a road a few weeks ago, turn tables on her and surprise her by reading through her like you read an open book scared her. How did he do that? Before even trying to answer the question, she made the decision to park all thoughts of Kozik away. Today was not about him. Today was about her mother. There was still much to be done before the funeral scheduled the next day and she couldn't let thoughts of a certain biker mess with her head.

She finally turned off the water and stepped out, surrounding her body with a towel. She squeezed her hair to remove the excess water and walked back into her bedroom. She felt a chill as a light breeze came through the window. She opened her drawers taking out underwear and pulling it on before reaching for denim shorts and a flowery blouse her mother had chosen for her, telling her it brought out her eyes, topping it with a heavy knitted cardigan. She decided to abstain from any make up today and after slipping into her tan suede biker boots, she made her way downstairs.

She was barely surprised when she entered a spotless kitchen that bore no signs of the fact that nearly a hundred people had been eating and drinking there the night before. After her conversation with Kozik, Ella had decided to go to bed but obviously, the women had cleaned until the wee hours of the night no doubt under the orders of Gemma Teller while the men drunk and headed back to close quarters with crow eaters hooked to them.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and found comfort in the steaming brew. Although the temperature would go up as the day went by, the morning was still crisp and fresh. She pulled open a drawer, taking out a notepad and a pen and sat at the kitchen table. _It's all in the details_ Ella thought to herself as she started furiously jotting down thoughts of what needed to be done. She felt a chill and wrapped herself in her cardigan as she pulled her legs to her, resting her heel on the edge of the chair.

Ella was startled by the sound of steps behind her. She turned around in a jolt and realised it was her father. His piercing eyes narrowed on her as if he was also surprised to see _her _there before averting his gaze. "Morning." He greeted with a raucous voice.

"Morning." She murmured flatly as she watched him pour himself some coffee. He kept his back to her as he sipped the hot beverage in silence. Despite the fact that he still lived here, she had not been expecting to see him this morning. She had thought for sure that he'd take refuge at the ranch or between Darcy's sheets.

"When are you going to the funeral home?"

"11."

He turned around. "I can come with you. If you want" he mumbled, almost hesitant."

If Ella hadn't been already sat, she might have fallen on her ass. From any other husband that statement would have made sense, been welcomed but this was a man who had abandoned her mother and her when they needed him the most, choosing to spend his days and nights away, the man who hadn't even been able to tear himself away from his precious club long enough to say goodbye to his wife of twenty five years. So she said the only thing that came to mind. "Why?"

"She was my wife Ella."

She scoffed. "I'm surprised you remember that."

He sighted loudly and put down his coffee. "I don't want to fight with you Ella. I… I know it's not always easy for you to see it but I loved your mother. I always did. I know you're angry and I know you're sad, but we need to stick together as a family. That's what your mother would have wanted."

Ella felt her blood boil and stood up to face him. "How dare you? How dare you say you loved her? You don't hurt the people you love Ray. You know what my mother would have wanted Ray? A husband that didn't cheat on her, she would have wanted a husband that didn't terrorize her every day. She hated that she married you. She hated what you had become. She hated you with every fiber of her being. _You_ do not know the first thing about what she would have wanted." She seethed with indignation.

His eyes flashed with anger and fury and his fists clenched until his knuckles turned white making Ella take a step back her knees bumping onto her chair. He realised she was scared of what he might do and that thought seemed to snap him out of his rage. He swallowed hard and Ella saw his shoulders relax. He suddenly looked tired, old, his eyes reflecting a weariness she had never seen before. "Suit yourself." He calmly concluded before exiting the room without another word.

She let out a deep breath and sat on the chair, drained. There was always so much tension in her exchanges with her father but this conversation was different, it_ felt_ different for some reason. She had thought he was going to hit her. She had no doubt man she had known her whole life would not stand such provocation. But he hadn't. Instead, he had looked…heart broken. Checking her watch, she realized she needed to get everything ready before her appointment at the funeral home and dismissed the thoughts of her father before heading upstairs.

* * *

><p>Kozik felt like shit. His night had been restless. After the boys had decided to move events back to the range and a bunch of crow eaters had decided to join them, he had tried to brush any thoughts of Ella Strickland away and have some fun, but it had quickly become obvious that he wouldn't be able to. He kept going back to his conversation with her and was guilt ridden about it. The girl had just lost her mother and was obviously grieving and he had gone and scolded her like you scold a naughty child. He just hadn't been able to contain himself and has seen red when she had made insinuations about him and his club. Kozik was always very protective of the family that had stood by home day in, day out, the very people who had been there for him when no one in his blood family had. But he felt like an asshole for reacting the way he did and instead of finishing the night with a crow eater in his bed, he had ended it alone, with thoughts of Ella Strickland keeping him awake until wee hours of the morning. Kozik parked his bike on his usual spot and hopped off his bike. He marched towards the range and pushed open the door greeting Darcy on his way in.<p>

"Hey Darcy."

"Hey Kozik." She replied withdrawn.

"You alright, doll?"

She flicked her eyes to him and quickly looked away. "I'm fine thanks."

He shrugged and made his way to the back offices. As soon as he walked in, he was hit by a very familiar smell. "Bobby Elvis, what did you do?"

Bobby chuckled, a cigarette dangling from his mouth as he held out a box of freshly backed muffins. "Blueberry."

"You are going to make a man very happy someday, Bobby." Kozik teased as he took a bite out of a muffin.

"There's coffee on the table…asshole." Bobby replied before continuing his round.

Kozik grinned at him and walked to the table pouring himself some black brew. He felt a strong hand grip his shoulder and spun around immediately recognized the Charming President smoking a cigar.

"Hey Kozik."

"Hey, what's up Clay? How was the motel?"

"Walls too thin. Had to listen to Tig and the little receptionist at it all night."

A confused frown creased Kozik's forehead "Darcy?"

"Yeah, why? "

That explained why the usually bubbly and slightly arrogant girl was acting all weird today. Guess Ray had had enough of the girl in the end. "No reason, just asking."

Clay let out a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "So how are you liking Tacoma?"

Kozik considered the question. So many things happened in such a short span of time that he hadn't actually thought about it much. "It's been good so far. Can't complain really."

"Well, good. I'm happy to hear that." He stepped closer, a concerned look on his face. "We heard about the prospect. It's awful shit. Kid was what 22?"

Kozik clenched his fist, he still felt somewhat responsible for the kid's death. "21" he replied through gritted teeth.

"Shit like that, it's never easy on a club."

"It's been tough, but we're handling it."

Clay was slowly nodding, "I couldn't help but notice some… tension within your crew last night." he locked eyes with Kozik. "Anything I should know?"

Kozik suddenly felt uneasy. He had known his old president was fishing for information; after all Clay had never been one for small talk. Kozik knew what the man was asking. The scene between Ray and Pete hadn't been lost on him either. But as much as Kozik respected and loved Clay, he couldn't betray his new charter and his new president.

"Nah, like I said, it's just been a tough couple of days."

Clay could tell Kozik wasn't being totally open with him. He didn't like it, but he had to respect it. So he just smiled. "Glad to hear it. We miss you, man."

Kozik smiled. "Miss you guys too."

* * *

><p>"Dark Oak is always a favorite. We have cherry or the traditional mahogany. Or If you prefer one of our cheaper ranges, pine is always a good option too!"<p>

She had gotten to the funeral home half an hour ago and since then the funeral director a small man with a red rounded face had been hammered her with all sorts of questions while showing her the "house catalogue." Ella tried to concentrate on the words coming out of the man's mouth but was failing to make any sense of them "Yes." Ella replied absent mindedly.

"Which one, Dear?" he insisted.

She looked up trying to remember the list of choices the old man had given her."The… Mahogany?"

"Very good choice. It's very elegant."

There was something weird about describing a casket to burry her mother in as elegant, but she didn't have the will or the energy to discuss it further.

"Now for the inside what do you think of silk?"

"Great." she said without conviction. She lifted the bag she had brought with her. "I have her dress, some jewellery, things she would have liked to have with her."

The old man nodded "You can leave those with my wife Wilma. We'll take good care of it."

She saw the man look at her with pity in his eyes. He probably though she was overwhelmed by the grief over her mother's death. And she was. But it wasn't what had her sitting there, unable to really react, quiet sorrow sweeping over her. She had always thought she knew her mother. She thought she knew her past, knew her thoughts, her moods. But the discovery she had made that morning had shattered that belief in a millions pieces.

_Ella entered the darkened bedroom, stopping at the threshold of the door remembering all those afternoons in the last few months where she had sat by the bed reading to her mother. Setting aside the painful memories, she busied herself and chose her mother's dress, picking a emerald green chiffon number that her mother had loved. It had long lace sleeves, a sophisticated bodice and a pleated skirt. To go with it, she selected the emerald and gold earrings her mother always wore with this dress, black pumps, and pearls Ella had gotten her the previous Christmas. She opened a drawer looking for a diamond hairpin that had belonged to her grand mother and found an early edition of catcher in the rye, her mother's favorite book. She opened it and found a photo of her holding Ella the day she was born. Ella delicately brushed the photo with her fingers before putting the photo back in the book and placing it in the bag with her mother's clothing. She was about to close the drawer when she spotted a piece of paper pointing at the bottom of her mother's jewellery box. She held it up and noticed it was actually an envelope taped under it. She removed it and looked at the cream envelope. She opened it and took out a single shit of paper. Realizing it was a letter addressed to her mother; she sat down and started reading. After finishing, she had remained frozen in the same spot unable to move, unable to process what she had just read. She had just learned a crucial lesson; things weren't always as simple as they seemed. She suddenly felt nauseous and just had the time to run to the bathroom before emptying the contents of her stomach._

"Miss Strickland? Are you okay? Would you maybe like a glass of water?"

She shook her head, suddenly making a decision. "No thank you. I need to get going."

He stood up "I'm assuming I should be sending the bill to your father."

Ella stood up too, taking the hand he held up to her. "Yes, please." She replied before hurriedly exiting leaving the bewildered man behind.

* * *

><p>Ray surveyed the packed room aware that every brother in the room had his eyes trained on him. Five charters across three states were represented, including the mother charter. Some were sitting, most were standing, and they were all waiting for the President to speak.<p>

"It has been a difficult few weeks for Tacoma, we all thank you for coming down. My daughter and I we thank you too."

"Anytime brother." Clay chimed in.

Quinn, the nomad president chose this moment to speak up. "Ray, we're hearing a lot of noise about this beef with the Mayans. Where are you guys at with that?"

Remebering his conversation with Pete rhe night before, Ray's eyes flicked to his VP accusingly before reverting his attention back to his brother in arms. "Romero and I have reached an agreement, we hold off on retaliation until he cleans up house. In exchange, he gave us the rat who sold us out and got the prospect killed. That was taken care off."

A few Tacoma member's shifted on their seat which didn't go unnoticed by their brothers.

"You have a timeline on when Romero expects to do this…clean up?"

Ray's look moved to Bobby Munson who had asked the question. "Let's just say I've never been known to be a man of patience."

"Now Brother, I know you guys lost a man and we share your anger. But you need to thread carefully before launching on a full blown war with the Mayans. We don't want a repeat of 92."

Ray eyes glared at Clay with piercing blue eyes and anyone else that the ruthless Charming president would have had chills down their spine from his look alone "With all due respect, Clay, this is a decision for this charter to make."

Clay raised a hand to appease Lethal Ray. "I hear ya brother. But you might want to remember that what takes place here might blowback onto other charters."

Ray nodded "We want to avoid that. That's why I made the agreement with Romero. But should we decide to go through with retaliation we'll be sure to let you know."

It was a battle of the wills that was fascinating to watch, each man claiming power over the other. One was a founding member of the club, the other one of his most ruthless and feared representative. They were both glowering at each other, contempt in their eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Clay slung back into his chair with a devilish grin conceding to his opponent. "You do that Brother."

Ray acknowledged him with a nod before hitting the gavel. As one, the men stood up to exit the room that had suddenly become suffocating. Before he could make another move, Ray turned to Pete "Stay." He ordered. They waited for the room to empty and without even looking at him, Ray rasped. "You bring up my wife or my daughter to me again, I will put a bullet right through your heart." There was no doubt in either man's head, that Ray would execute his promise.

Pete snorted, shaking his head sadly at what a thirty year friendship had become. He stood up without another word and left Ray alone in the Chapel. Ray was about to stand up when his cell phone rang. He took it out and checked the caller ID before answering. "Who's this?"

"_It's Augusto Romero."_

"Dealt with your nephew yet?"

"_The girl wasn't part of the deal."_

"Collateral damage."

"_That collateral damage was my niece and I'm afraid my nephew was rather fond of his sister. I will not be able to stop retaliation for this. That is on you my friend. Have a good day. "_

Without further ceremony, Romero hung up leaving Ray to contemplate the consequences of what he had done.

* * *

><p>Ella parked her car and stopped the engine but didn't make a move to leave the car. She was trying to summon her courage for the conversation she came here to have. The relationship between her parents had always been black and white for Ella but after reading the letter, it was as if she was starting to see nuances of gray. She didn't know what she was going to say but she needed to talk to him, ask. All this resentment, this anger towards her father for destroying his marriage and their family, could it have been misdirected? Unfaithful old ladies weren't usually brought back to the fold and forgiven. Unfaithful old ladies were shunned from the club, shunned by their families and expropriated. But Ella was sure that Ray had known and yet he had kept on the charade with Nell until her death. She knew he wasn't an innocent victim and he had made a lot of mistakes as well. And as much as Ella wanted to believe it didn't change anything, it did. She let out a deep breath and got off the car before locking it and making her way towards the range.<p>

* * *

><p>Darcy opened her compact mirror and checked her neck to see the marks his fingera had left on her neck. She tried to fend off the tears that were threatening to fall down, her mind bringing her back to her conversation with Ray earlier that day.<p>

_He had walked into the range as if nothing had happened the day before, as if he hadn't publicly declared her fair game for every Son to have. _

"_Ray, can we talk?"_

"_I don't have time for any recrimination Darcy."_

"_Okay, but can you at least tell me what I did?" she pleaded tears chocking her. "I thought you loved me."_

"_Loved you? You're a sweet butt Darcy, a club whore passed around to serve the boys needs. You might want to remember your place"_

"But i don't understand what _I dId?" she repeated eyes pleading_

"_You show up in my wife's home on the day of her death and dare to ask me what you did?"_

"_I didn't mean any disrespect Ray, I swear. I'm sorry, please." She touched his arm and straight away realised her mistake._

_In one swift movement, his hands closed on her throats pushing her unceremoniously against the wall. "You and I are done, you filthy whore." He hissed in her ear. _

_She felt him squeeze his fingers tightening his grip before finally letting go. "Don't you ever waste ny time again."_

She heard the door push open and arranged her hair to hide the bruises as she flashed her best smile to a customer. "Hello, may I help you?"

"I have a lesson at 1? I'm a little early."

"Yes, of course, take a seat in the waiting room, I'll let the instructor know you're here." She pressed a button letting the boys in the back know a customer was there, just as the door opened again. She looked up and was surprised to see Ella Strickland walking in. The prissy princess usually avoided the range like the plague, considering herself too good for it. She walked to Darcy. "Hey, is Ray inside?"

"They're in church."

"Oh, I… what happened to your neck?" she demanded when she spotted the bruises.

Darcy adjusted her hair to hide the bruises again. "Nothing." She replied dismissively.

Ella bore her eyes into Darcy's and felt blood chill in her veins. "He did this to you?"

The tears that had been threatening to fall earlier were glistering dangerously at the surface of her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She tried to turn away from Ella but Ella grabbed her hand and forced Darcy to face her. The receptionist violently removed her hand from Ella's grasp. "Why do you care? You should love this Ella. He dropped me. No one will ever touch me now. All I'll ever be is a sweet butt. I guess that makes you happy?" She composed herself and wiped the tears away. "Like I said, nothing happened."

Ella felt her mouth dry up, silently admonishing herself for being so naïve. For a moment, she had almost forgotten why she hated her father, almost forgotten what he was, choosing to feel sorry for him. Watching the pain on Darcy's face, the humiliation reminded her of what man he truly was and that regardless of her mother's mistakes, he was the only one responsible for that. She turned on her heels and made her way to the door.

"I thought you were here to see Ray."

"I was wrong. " she replied sadly before exiting.

* * *

><p>Kozik jogged down the corridor, he was late for his 1pm lesson although he had to admit he had hoped the woman wouldn't show up. The old lady wouldn't have been able to hit a target if it hit her in the face but she loved guns and the guys had taken the habit of indulging her "<em>Anything for a paying customer."<em>He opened the door separating the offices from the reception just in time to spot Ella walking out of the parking lot.

"Kozik, your client's waiting."

He couldn't tear his eyes away from Ella, she seemed upset hurriedly making her way towards her car. "Yeah, tell her I'll be a minute." he absent mindedly replied before following Ella outside. "Ella!" he called out.

She spun around and their eyes locked. Even from a distance, he could tell how tense she was, silent fury in her eyes as they silently communicated across the parking lot. Ella finally broke eye contact, shaking her head as if refusing for him to look at her any more and got into her car. He started running in the hope of catching up with her before she drove off. "Ella, wait!"

But he was too late and by the time he reached her, she was already peeling away and out of the parking lot.

If Ella hadn't looked at him through her rearview mirror, she might have been able to spot the dark colored vintage Deville which pulled away as she passed by.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope to read you review soon!**


	11. A band aid for a fracture

**Chapter XI – A band aid for a fracture.**

Ella couldn't believe how stupid she had been. Thinking for one second that Ray wasn't beyond redemption; Wanting to believe she could ever understand him.

She had taken the first exit out of town and was now driving aimlessly on a quiet road. She needed to clear her head away from the shit show her life had become. She kept seeing the bruises on Darcy's neck,. She had never been a fan of the girl yes, she had hated her even. But she had never wished for anything back to befall her. But it had. In the form of her father. He had used the girl for months and now no other Tacoma Son will probably want her. She'll stick around until she washes out and leaves on her own accord and be kicked out if she causes any issues. That was how things worked within the club. There was a hierarchy amongst the women and very strict rules and if your overstepped your bounds, or broke the rules, you could fall very low. It was a horrifying truth but a truth nonetheless.

Ella noticed the Deville behind her accelerating and she moved aside to let it go through. But instead of overtaking, the car moved aside mimicking what she had just done. She frowned and checked the rearview mirror. The windows were tinted and she couldn't see the driver. She decided to try again and this time opened her window to signal to the driver with her arm. But the driver continued to tail her.

"What is your problem, asshole?"she vented as she looked in the rearview mirror again.

That's when she realised something. She had seen that car before, as she had pulled into the range parking lot. She remembered noticing the bumper stickers because they were in Spanish and she had tried deciphering it with the little Spanish she remembered from school. And now that she thought about it she had seen it again when she had taken the north exit at the junction. Could this car be following her? And if it was, to what end? She got the answer to her question when the Deville suddenly accelerated bumping into the rear of her car, causing Ella to violently jerk forward.

"What the hell?" She turned around just in time to see the caddy come at her again. Ella picked up speed, looking at the road ahead looking for a way out but it was desperately empty. She checked her speed nervously; she knew that her old beat up car wouldn't be a match for the Deville in a full blown car chase. She was in trouble and she knew it. She had two choices call the cops and hope they got to her in time, or call the club. And regardless of what Ella might have thought about the Sons, it had long been engrained in her never to go to the cops.

Holding the steering wheel with one hand, she frantically foraged in her hand bag which was resting on the passenger seat, before finally locating her phone. Careful to check the road, she tried to dial a number on her phone only to be rear bumped again by the other car. Ella's car swerved a little and she fought to take back control of it. "Shit!" She ultimately managed to dial the number and held the phone to her ear.

"_Ella?"_

"Ray, I'm in trouble. I'm on road 410 about a mile past Boney Lake, I'm being chased by a car."

As if on cue, the Deville rear bumped her again.

"Shit!"

"_Ella?!"_

"They're trying to run my off the road, Ray. I don't know what to do." Despite the position she was in, Ella managed to say that in a calm voice.

"Ella, listen to me, you need to keep as much distance with them as you can."

"I'm trying!"

"_Keep trying. I'm on my way. And Ella? "_

"_Yes."_

"_No matter what, do__** not**__ get out of that car."_

She couldn't help but wonder why he had felt necessary to insist on that but she decided she didn't want to know. "Okay." She quickly hanged up and threw her phone away as she checked her rear view mirror again and saw the Deville slowing down and the front windows opening. Ella gasped as she caught sigh of a glistering gun pointed right at her.

* * *

><p>Ray had been alone with his thoughts when his phone had ranged. He had been surprised to see Ella's name on the caller ID as she usually avoided calling him. He had picked and paled when his daughter had told him she was being chased. Augusto Romero's warning still ringing in his ears. <em>I will not be able to stop retaliation now. That is on you my friend.<em> He didn't need to think to know exactly who was driving the car chasing his daughter. And despite the fact that Ray was convinced Juan wasn't acting with his club backing, they would be more than happy to put their hands on his daughter. Ella was in mortal danger but Ray was painfully aware of Juan Ortega's antecedents and he managed to get her alive, he would not only kill his daughter but violate her in ways Ray couldn't even bear to think about. Ray jumped, sending his chair flying on the floor and ran out the door walking into the bar area where most of the man were sitting chatting, playing cards, and drinking.

"We have to go."

Pete stood up immediately sensing the alarm in his president "What happened?"

"Juan Ortega is after Ella. She's on road 410." He said as he led the way soon followed by forty angry bikers.

* * *

><p>Juan Ortega couldn't believe his luck. After making an anonymous call to the cops and leaving the body of his beloved sister behind, he hadn't returned to the cantina that served as the Tacoma Mayans head quarters. He didn't want to hear his uncle pretenses about how much he had loved his sister. Tina had been an innocent and she was executed like a dog by the Sons and he intended to give back ten fold. The Sons President bitch daughter was going to be the price the Sons would pay, Juan had decided. An eye for an eye, an innocent for an innocent. He <em>would<em> kill her. But first he would make the bitch scream in the worst ways possible, maybe even pass her to his brothers before he slit her throat ear to ear. Yes, Juan wanted revenge plain and simple and he wasn't going to wait for it. So he had called up their contact in the Tacoma PD and requested Ray Strickland personal address. Although the detective had been reluctant to provide the information knowing exactly what would likely happen if he did, a thousand dollars had finished convincing him. Armed with the address, Juan had left his Harley choosing instead to ride in his old lady's vintage Cadillac with his lieutenant Andres. They had both been camped in front of the ranch all morning waiting for the right moment. They had thought about grabbing her when she came out of the funeral home but she had been in a hurry and had ran to her car too fast. Juan didn't want to take the risk of any witnesses so they had just followed her to the range and when she'd left they'd tailed her again until he found his opportunity on this small road. He relished in the thought of how scared she must be wondering why someone was trying to run her off the road. Maybe she even called daddy crying someone was after her. He had fun rear bumping her a few times, putting some pressure on the bitch. But now was time to get serious, he thought, as he turned to his lieutenant Andres nodding for him to open the glove box. "Time to get the bitch. Give me my gun."

Andres took out a glock and handed it to his vice-president before pulling up his tee shirt and taking out his own gun. He smiled at Juan indicating he was ready.

"Remember, I want her alive." Juan stressed as they pulled their windows down. "Here it comes puta." He mouthed with a sick smile before they pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>At his speed, Kozik couldn't hear the guns but he definitely saw them and pressing the accelerator, he picked up his speed trying to reach Ella and the Deville that had been following her. When he had spotted Ella on the parking lot, he had just wanted to apologize for his reaction the day before, but when she had looked at him with her angry eyes, he'd known something was wrong. After Ella had gotten in her car, he had made a split second decision, driven by a primal instinct. He had told himself he just wanted to talk to her and make sure she was okay. She had looked so distressed, so sad he hadn't been able to stop himself and jumped on his bike to follow her. But very soon, he had noticed the Deville tailing her and known something was wrong. He had been slowed down at a railway crossing and lost sigh of both cars before finally catching up. Now he thought that he probably should have stopped and called for back up but he hadn't wanted to lose them completely. Kozik knew it would be pointless to get out his own gun as he wouldn't be able to hit anything at this distance, so he just pressed the accelerator again.<p>

* * *

><p>Ella bent forward very aware that those assholes were now <em>shooting <em>at her. She was trying to avoid any bullet but staying in control of her car was becoming increasingly difficult. She suddenly felt the car jump forward as if it had hit something before it swerved dangerously to the right. Ella realised they must have hit a wheel bursting it. She furiously tried to turn the steering wheel to get back on the road but it was too late, the car was not responding anymore. It skidded and crashed through the railings sending it flying in the bushes. Ella felt herself being jerked around her car, her face hitting the dashboard while the car continued its dangerous path until it finally came to a stop.

Every part of Ella's body started hurting. She could feel a warm liquid stream down her face and touching it she realised it was blood. "Shit." She murmured. She tried to move but her left shoulder was burning where the seatbelt had restrained her. She removed it and checked the nasty burn that was radiating pain through her body. Just then, she tried to turn around and saw two Hispanic men in their late twenties moving towards her. One had a massive tattoo of a spider crawling up his neck and the other one sported a moustache and sideburns and both had guns in their hands. Her hand went to open the car door but she remembered Ray's parting words. _"No matter what, do__** not**__ get out of that car."_

As if he was reading her mind, she heard the man with the tattoo address her. "Get out of the car, puta!" They were still about thirty yards away from her car but they were approaching fast. She tried to assess her chances of escaping if she made a run for it now but from this distance if they weren't half bad shooters they could probably hit her. She made a rapid calculation in her mind and concluded it would be another fifteen minutes at least until her father got there. She was stuck. She checked on the two Latinos again and watched horrified as the one who had spoken before raised his gun and fired hitting her wing mirror as she flinched in her seat. "I said get out."

The other one encouraged by his friend yelled "We only bite if you ask nice bitch!"

Ella was starting to get a pretty good idea of why her father had insisted she stay in the car as the thought sent a chill down her spine. "Come on Ray. Come on."

The man with the tattoo raised his gun again "Last chance chica." He warned before pulling the trigger.

Ella heard her rear window shatter as a bullet hit it.

"I'm coming for you puta!"

Ella decided that if they were coming for her she wasn't going to sit there like a duck waiting for the slaughter. She moved to the passenger seat as she knew their angle wouldn't be as good and fought with the handle to get it to open. She finally felt the door give and tried to come out as discretely as possible.

"I see you bitch!" she heard the taunting voice before she started running as fast as she could. She heard them behind her, vociferating insults she had no desire of ever understanding. She realised they were catching up on her when she heard shots being fired. She moved behind a tree to take cover but as she looked behind her she realised that the two Latinos were not firing at her anymore. They were firing at Kozik.

* * *

><p>Kozik saw Ella hide behind a tree and make eye contact with him. He nodded reassuringly to her letting her know he was there. When he had spotted the smashed railings and seen the Deville parked on the side of the road, he had understood what had happened straight away and felt a gripping fear rise in him. That was when he had heard the shots. He knew they were two of them and after quickly checking his gun, he knew he a full clip but that wouldn't be enough to fight off two armed men. He had decided the most important thing was to get Ella out of there so he had bypassed the attackers by circling around in order to surprise them on the right side. That was when he had spotted a bleeding Ella trying to get away from the Mexicans who were hunting her like a scared animal, yelling at her in Spanish as they laughed. He had felt anger course through his veins and pausing a second to aim, he'd started shooting. Ortega's lieutenant cried out in pain as a bullet hit his leg forcing Juan to back down. Kozik knew this was his chance so he made a beeline for her shooting aimlessly for cover.<p>

"Kozik!"

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, what's going on Kozik?"

"I don't know yet. Stay behind me."

He moved around the tree and shot in Juan's direction again. The man had helped his man and taken refuge behind Ella's car. He shot back in their direction and Kozik swiftly moved around to shield Ella for the bullets. The deafening sound of bullet sprays around finally stopped and Kozik checked over his shoulder to see Ortega running away supporting his man. He took Ella by the elbow and spun her around to face him. "Are you okay?"

All she could do is nod her response. Kozik knew she was in complete shock at what had just taken place. He felt a surge of affection towards her and sliding his hand behind her head he brought her close to him, holding her warm body tightly. "I got you Elle. I got you."

He felt her grip tighten around his kutte as she held on for dear life before she pulled away as she felt something wet by her neck. He looked down and she watched his eye grow wide as he noticed blood on her shoulder. "Are you hurt?" he asked panic-stricken.

"It's not my blood Kozik, it's yours."

**Hope you enjoyed the reading and I hope to read YOU soon!**


	12. How to save a life

**Chapter XII – How to save a life.**

Ella felt like a lion in a cage. She was frantically pacing in her bedroom, waiting for someone, anyone, to come in and tell her what the hell was going on. It had been over an hour since the guys had brought her back to the house, locking her in her room with instructions not to come out unless told.

She was in pain, she was exhausted and yes, she was worried about Kozik. Gemma Teller's words were still ringing in her ear. _They would put themselves between you and bullet any day._ Was it just last night tjhat the Charming Queen had pronouced those words? Ella had then dismissed her words as just that. Words. Club propaganda to justify their means and ends. But Kozik had indeed put himself in the line of fire to save her. Even after he realised he had a bullet lodged in his shoulder, he was still worried about protecting her, never letting go of her, shielding her with his massive body until they reached the road, just in time to see a huge formation of bikes led by Ray make their way to them.

Ella rubbed her neck trying to release the tension she felt in her neck only to realise she still had Kozik's blood all over her. She sat down, unable to tear her eyes away from the crimson color on her hands, which sent her mind racing, remembering the sudden relief she had felt when she had spotted her father on the road.

_He had pulled off in the middle of the road and ran to her._

"_Ella, are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine. Kozik's hurt."_

_Ray had never been a man to demonstrate his feeling and Ella couldn't have been more surprised as she had found herself suddenly wrapped in his arms, his hand cradling the back of her head as the other men made their way to Kozik, helping him to the back of the van. _"_You're safe. Let's get you home." _

_She remembered being surprised by the worry she read on his face as he pulled away and escorted her to the van. _

_Kozik's kutte and flannel shirt had been removed leaving him in a wife beater as one of the Charming members, a man in his thirties, with scars running on both of his cheeks was checking on him. The man turned to her "A 'right lassie, I'm going to need to apply pressure to his wound until we get back, can you do that?" he enquired in a strong Scottish accent. Her eyes widened at the sheer amount of blood coming out of the blue eyed biker. She looked up at the Scotsman and nodded as he unceremoniously took her hand, wrapping it in Kozik's flannel shirt and placed it on Kozik's shoulder. "Good girl. Now ya don't let the pressure off, a'right?_

"_She'll do fine, Chibs. Let's just go." Kozik interrupted before Ella could reply. The doors of the van slammed on them and Ella met Kozik's eyes to see he was staring intently at her. He must have read the fear and shock in hereyes because he placed a hand on hers. "I'll be okay."_

The sound of tires on gravel brought her back to the present and Ella took the few steps that separated from to the window to see a pick-up truck pull in the driveway. A woman in her late sixties with long white hair holding a medical bag came out and quickly rushed towards the house.

A few minutes later, she heard a light knock before the door opened revealing Chibs, holding medical supplies. "Sorry Lassie, had to wait with Kozik until the doc got here." He let himself in and jerked his head to her. "Your dad asked me to check your out"

Ella's hand flew to her forehead touching the dry blood around the gash she had almost forgotten about.

"Oh, umm yeah thanks."

She sat down on the bed and watched as he put on latex gloves, and prepared some gauze and antiseptic. He bend over to get a better view of the cut. "It's a nasty cut, lass. Afraid you're going to need stitches. I'll clean it for ya and let the doctor do the rest when she's done."

Ella nodded in agreement. "How is Kozik?"

"Doc is patching him up now, he'll be fine, don't worry."

Before she could ask anything else, the door opened and Chance and Happy made their way in without asking. Ella didn't really mind Happy, sometimes she even liked him; he was a scary character but she trusted him. However, there was no love lost between her and Chance and when she looked up, she wasn't surprised to see the sergeant–at-arms staring daggers at her.

"How is the head?" Happy asked in his characteristic raspy voice.

"It'll be fine, thanks."

"What can you tell us about the shooters, Elle?"

"Latinos. Both of them. One had a spider web tattoo on his neck, the other one had sideburns and an ugly mustache."

Ella didn't miss the hint of recognition on the men's face, nor was the knowing look they shared lost on her, but she was painfully aware that there was no point in asking, as she knew full well her questions would remain unanswered. Only one man could choose what would be shared with her and he wasn't in the room.

Chance took a few steps further in the room placing himself right behind Chibs so he could stare straight into Ella's eyes. "What the hell were you doing outside of city limits anyway? You know, you're not supposed to leave Tacoma without protection." He barked at her.

Ella had to bite her tongue not to be rude. "I didn't think I needed protection."

"Well, you thought wrong and now a man got shot because of you."

He had said that to hurt her and despite her best effort, Ella felt a pang of guilt, his words cutting through her.

"Chibs, come downstairs when you're done with her. And you " he wagged a finger towards her "For once do what you're told and stay put." He spat before turning on his heels and leaving the room, Happy following behind.

"Asshole." Ella murmured loud enough for Chibs to hear her.

He had to fight hard not to smile. He thought the Tacoma SAA had been a bit harsh, especially considering what the kid had just gone through, but it wasn't his place to say. "They're only trying to protect ya' love. You've got to take it easy on them."

A pop resonated in the room as he took off his gloves "Alright, all done. You should get cleaned up." he concluded squeezing her shoulder with an encouraging smile before she found herself alone in the room. Again.

* * *

><p>Evelyn Moretti twisted the tweezers and felt them close on the bullet, before she pulled out, the bloody slug in a tight grip. She felt the blond biker's body tense as he gripped the side of the table and winced in pain. She dropped the bullet in the tray she had set up on the dining table next to her and turned back to the man. "You alright, tough guy?"<p>

"I'm fine. Let's just finish this." He replied through gritted teeth.

She couldn't help a smile. Evelyn had been a friend of the club for many years and even though she had retired and sold her practice, Ray still called on her to help with delicate situations that couldn't involve a trip to the hospital. She was used to being around those though as nails guys, but she had to admit it was the first time one of them insisted on going through this type of intervention without any sort of anesthetic or even mild pain relief. She quickly closed up the wound, her hands gracefully working their magic.

The door opened and Evelyn looked up to see Ray and his VP Precious Pete enter.

"How is he doing Doc?" the Tacoma president asked.

"He's fine, aren't you Hon'? Big badass bikers die hard."

"How much longer?"

"We're as good as done." She informed them as she closed the last stitch. She cleaned up the wound before applying sterile gauze and tapping it to his skin. Rummaging through her bag, she took out a bottle of pills and held it out to Kozik. "You need to change the dressing at least twice a day. Here, take two every twelve hours. That'll help fight any infection. Sure, you don't want anything for the pain?

"I'm good."

"What did I tell ya? Big badass biker."

"Thanks Doc."

"The Scotsman mentioned your kid might need some stitches too? "

"She's waiting for you upstairs. First door on the left."

"Alright, don't worry, I'll take good care of her." She assured Ray before kissing his cheek and, patting Pete's back on her way out.

Kozik sat up with difficulty to face his President. Ray closed the few steps separating him from the blond man and cautiously wrapped his arms around him. "Thanks Kozik, for protecting Ella like you did."

"Anytime " Kozik replied as Ray pulled away. "But this wasn't random Pres', they were targeting her. Why would Mayans renege on their word and attack your kid?. It doesn't make any sense.

Ray and Pete shared a look full of animosity and resentment before Pete cleared his throat to speak. "The girl we killed the other day? She was the Mayan Veep's sister."

"Jesus Christ."

"Romero gave us the heads up but I guess Ortega went rogue on this one."

"This is bad Ray. Ortega was the one who shot me. If I hadn't shot his little bitch and forced him to back down, there was no stopping him."

Ray nodded "I know. Come on, get dressed. Everyone's waiting for us next door."

* * *

><p>"We all know now it was Juan Ortega who attacked Ella. Retribution for his sister's death." Ray announced to the audience.<p>

All the men from the Tacoma, Charming were standing in Ray's living room which had been transformed in a makeshift chapel.

"The death of a woman, one related to a VP, it's bad shit brother. Shit that could escalate very quickly." Bobby

"We didn't know who she was." Whiz sighted, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"It doesn't matter what you guys knew or not. The Mayans are going to want blood." Tig chimed in

The Tacoma SAA snickered. "They tried to kill our president's kid and shot one of ours. Trust me brother, we want blood too."

Clay rubbed his forehead and jerked his head to Ray. "The Mayans could call on to other charters and we would end up with a full blown war on our hands. I hope you realise that, Ray."

"They tried to kill my daughter, Clay."

Kozik had been silently listening to the back and forth between his old charter and his new brothers but both crews seemed to be missing a crucial point. One he had to make sure everyone understood, "We have to remember that Ella is still a target. Ortega is loose cannon right now. Even if we come to an agreement with the Mayans, as long as he is not neutralized, she's not safe."

Tig dismissed the thought. "You don't know that."

"I'm not taking the risk of finding out." The Tacoma president argued. "Kozik's right. I want her out of Tacoma. Today. "

Precious Pete turned to him. "Nell's funeral is tomorrow. She's not going to want to leave."

"Ella will do what we tell her to do." Chance barked.

"We can protect her here, Ray."

Ray lifted his head as if suddenly realizing something. "If this things turns ugly, I don't want her anywhere near this place."

Before the argument between the Tacoma brothers could escalate any further, Clay raised his hands in appeasement, "Alright, enough. Let the girl bury her mother. But just her and club members. No women, no children. After the funeral, we will escort her to Rogue River. We'll have our prospects meet us there and take her back to Charming She'll be safe there."

"What about Gemma?" Tig enquired.

"You take her to Rogue River tonight, I don't want her here. She can wait there until we bring Ella. Bobby, call Olympia and Joliette, have them be on stand by. We might need reinforcement if this shit goes south. Does that work for you Pres?"

"I want a Tacoma brother with Ella." He turned to his latest recruit "Kozik."

The man who had moved to Tacoma less than two months before would have hated to leave his brothers side to babysit the President's daughter. But things had changed a lot in the last few weeks. He understood where Ray was coming from. Kozik had shielded Ella from the bullets today, and the president knew he would do it again in a heartbeat. Besides riding was not an option for at least a couple of days while his wound healed a little.

"You got it Pres."

"Alright. Let's get this set up gentlemen."

Multiple grunts of agreement were heard as Ray stroke the gavel. The brothers started to disperse and Ray called out to Kozik to remain behind. He turned to the injured man. He knew Kozik had been a Navy Seal in another life. The toughest and most rigorous special ops group in the world. He could see Kozik was already in full motion, thinking 20 steps head, strategizing and he knew he had made the right choice. He cleared his throat, looking for the right words. "I'm burying my wife tomorrow. I need to know my daughter will be safe. I'm trusting youto keep her safe."

"You know I will." Kozik replied with conviction.

Ray looked at the man and nodded gratefully. "You get her to Rogue River, and once she's safe you come back. We'll need you."

Ray stood up, patting Kozik in the back before leaving the room. Kozik let out a deep breath. He had promised Ray he would keep Ella safe and he knew would protect her with his life. And not only because she was his president's daughter. Kozik was not a man who scared easily but in that single moment before he realised that_ he_ was the one who'd been shot, the very idea that she'd been hurt had crippled him with fear. He knew that now that whatever it was about Ella, that kept drawing him in, it wasn't going away.

Standing up, he turned to exit the room and found himself face to face with Tig Tager. "It's lucky you know, you being here right when those Mexican assholes decided to target Ray's kid."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"I'm still not clear on what exactly you were doing following the Pre's daughter though?"

Kozik was surprised no one had asked him the same question yet. He had elaborated an explanation but Tig was the first one to call him up on it. "It's like I said, Tiggy, I saw the Deville and went on a hunch."

Tig let out a snigger and shook his head "Nah, surely even_ you_ wouldn't be that fucking stupid."

"What are you talking about?"

Tig's eyes narrowed on him. "Are you tapping her?"

"What's the matter Tiggy? You jealous?"

Ignoring Kozik's remark, Tig just continued. "You're sailing on dangerous waters here brother."

"I'm not doing her, alright."

"Well, you better not be asshole, because if he even thought you did, Ray would cut your balls off and feed them to you."

Kozik stood up to leave the room. "Nice talking to you too, Tig."

* * *

><p>Ella sat in silence, the pain on her forehead finally receding thanks to the powerful painkillers the club doctor had given her when she heard a loud knock on the door.<p>

"Come in."

She was half surprised to see her father walk into the room, closing the door behind him. She had almost exepcted him to send Pete or Whiz to do this.

He put his hands in his pocket and gently asked. "How is your head?"

She stood up to face him. "Don't. No small talk, Ray. Not today. I want to know what is happening."

He had known this conversation wouldn't be easy, he still hoped it would go better than their usual discussions which usually ended with one of them hurting the other. Nell had been right, they were both stubborn, both proud. He took a deep breath "We need to get you to out of the city for a while. It's for your protection."

"Protection from what? What the hell did you _do_ Ray?"

He pondered her question for a moment. Any other day, he would have ignored the question and told her to get on with the program but something stopped him from doing that now. Instead, he chose to be honest. "The man who tried to kill you. He's the Mayans vice president and the attack, it was a retaliation. For his sister's death."

"Did his sister die because of you?"

"Yes." He replied swallowing hard as he remembered pulling the trigger on the woman.

"And now he wants _me_ dead."

"I am not going to let anything happen to you. You need to trust me to know what is best for you."

Ella cackled. "Trust you? Like mum did?

"Please do not bring your mother into this."

"Yeah? What about Darcy Dad? She trusted you to do what's best for_ her_. Look where that got her."

Ray took two quick, menacing steps towards her. "You're crossing the line Ella."

Ella stood her ground refusing to back down. "What are you going to do Ray? Hurt me like you hurt her? I saw the bruises on her neck!"

For the second time that day, her father's harsh exterior seemed to vanish as his shoulders slumped. "I'd never hurt you like that."

"And I'm supposed to just take your word for it."

He let out a loud breath and sat at the edge of her bed. "Why do you always have to fight me on everything, Ella? If something happened to you… she'd never forgive me. She asked me to protect you…to make sure you were safe. Even if you hated me for it. You _have_ to let me do this.

It was time. Ella knew this was the moment she had been waiting for. She needed to know the truth. "This morning, I came to the range. I wanted to ask you something."

"What's that?"

"Did you know? About her affair?"

"Ella…"

"Please. I have to know."

"Yes, I knew." he replied, gazing into his daughter's eyes.

She was taken aback by the hurt she read in his look."Why did you take her back?"

"She was my wife and I loved her. No one else knew."

"And him. Do you know who he was?"

"No, she never told me and I never wanted to know."

They remained silent for a moment, letting the words linger between them. Ella took a deep breath. "I'll go. I'll do everything I'm told. And when you're done, when this is done, I want to leave. No questions asked. I'll just leave and you will let me go. Because the one thing I really need protection from is you, this club and everything that comes with it. So can I please have your word, Ray?

He remembered his promise to Nell. This was what she wanted. He knew that if Ella left, she would most certainly never come back and as hard as it was for him, he knew he had to honor his word. " When this is over, if you want to leave, you'll be free to go." He stood up and walked to the door. "You leave tomorrow. After your mother's funeral. Be ready"

**This chapter was harder to write than usual, I don't feel like it flows as good as it could have but there was a lot of setting up needed for future chapters and this was the best way I had to bring it up. Still I hope you enjoyed it, coming up we FINALLY have a lot more Ella Kozik interactions so stay tuned.**

**Hoping to get the new chapter in very quickly if my home internet is fixed so fingers crossed! **

**Even more so than usual, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this chapter which was very painful to write, so please review!**


	13. The long goodbye

**Chapter XIII – The long goodbye.**

Ella looked at her reflection in the full length mirror, brushing a crease from her dress. She had opted for a classic look. Black straight dress, high black heels, the golden medallion her mother had bought her for her eighteenth birthday, dangling earrings she loved. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail that fell just above her waist. She hadn't been able to sleep much the night before, the adrenaline from the events of the last seventy two hours still rushing through her veins and had chosen to apply a light layer of make up to hide the sign of weariness from her face. She looked perfect for a funeral. She took a step towards her dresser and lifted a framed photograph of her mother, her fingers lightly brushing her mother's perfect face.

She heard a soft knock and looked as the door opened to reveal Pete, standing at the threshold of the door."It's time sweetheart."

He spotted the frame in her hand and closed the distance between them. He smiled sadly at the photograph which was familiar to him. "She was a beautiful woman, your mum."

She nodded in agreement as she returned the frame to its spot "Yes she was." She confirmed turning to look at him in the eyes. "I know about you and mum."

He thought about denying it, but he knew he would never be able to foster another lie on this, not with Ella. Instead he looked down and sighted. "I didn't think she told anyone."

"She didn't." Ella took out the letter she had found in her mother's jewelry box from her pocket and held it out to him. "I found this in her private things."

He recognized it straight away. The break up letter he had written to Nell all those years ago, listing all the reasons they couldn't be together. "I'm sorry you ever had to find out, Ella. And I know it doesn't excuse anything but I loved her." He tried to cup her cheek with his hand but she recoiled from his touch.

"She wasn't yours to love, Pete! She was your best friend's wife." Ella felt a mixture of anger and the guilt rush through her. "I blamed him, Pete. For years, every time I heard her cry in her room I'd blame him. I assumed it had to be because of him but it wasn't, was it? I can't help but think that maybe my relationship with my father would be different if it wasn't for you."

"I know you're hurt and disappointed. I'm really sorry for that."

"Yeah, me too. He knows about the affair. He doesn't know it was you but if he ever found out…"

"I know."

She held out the letter to him. "You should burn this. No one else should find out."

"Will you forgive me?"

One day, maybe. Probably. But right now she couldn't. Right now, she felt… confused. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel about the man who had bedded her mother behind her husbands back. The man who might have ruined her parents' marriage. The man she had always thought of as a second father. "We should go, Ray is waiting."

* * *

><p>"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me…"<p>

The funeral was a intimate affair. With the events that had taken place the day before, it had been agreed that only the club members and Ella would be present.

Kozik looked up stealing a glance at her. She was sitting on the opposite side to him, flanked by Pete and Ray either side of her, Chance and Happy completing the protective shield by standing behind her. All the men had bowed their head respectfully but her eyes were watching her mother's casket emotionless as if she had detached herself from her surroundings. He hadn't been alone with her since their rescue. Not long after the emergency meeting they had the day before, Tig had picked up Gemma from the motel where she had been locked up and they'd hit the road, reaching Rogue River during the night. Tease had taken Kozik back to his house to rest until the next day while the rest of the crew was kept on stand by around the house.

He found himself wishing he could let her know he was there for her. He knew the pain of losing a parent and he would have liked to be able to be present for her. As if she had heard his thoughts, she looked up, her fierce brown eyes meeting his and gave him an imperceptible nod.

A few minutes later, the priest ended the ceremony and the crowd made their way back to their bikes,

Ella turned to Ray. "I need a minute alone with her."

With a look, Ray consulted Chance and Happy who had been scanning the surroundings since they had arrived. The bold man nodded affirmatively to the president. Ray turned back to his daughter. "Don't be long."

* * *

><p>Whiz approached Kozik, a set of car keys in hand. "I got the car and everything else you asked for"<p>

Kozik had requested an SUV with tinted windows to give them an edge on the road in case they ran into problems. He had thought about taking a van, but the trip would likely take eight to twelve hours depending on the traffic, he didn't want Ella at the back of a van for that long. They walked to the car as Whiz continued. "There's a shot gun under your seat, two Glocks in the glove box and the piece de resistance…" The man opened the trunk and Kozik spotted a duffel bag. He unzipped it revealing two assault rifles, a semi automatic gun and ammunitions. "Hopefully, you won't need any of it."

"Yeah, I prefer to be prepared."

* * *

><p>Pete was observing Kozik and Whiz from afar, replaying his conversation with Ella through his mind when he heard a raspy voice address him. "She's in safe hands, Pete. I've known Kozik for a long time. He'll protect her , no matter what."<p>

Pete turned to Happy with a smile.

"I'm more worried about him. You make Ella do something she doesn't want to do, you got to be prepared to pay hell for it."

Happy knew Pete was right on point. Both men broke into a small laugh. After everything that happened in the last twenty four hours, it felt good to be able to still laugh.

Ella bent over and kissed her mother casket whispering a last goodbye before making her way towards her father.

"Your bag is in the car. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." She replied flatly as she got in the car. She lifted her eyes to meet her fathers and opened her mouth to speak but closed it again.

"I'll see you soon Ella." He promised guessing what she had been about to say.

Ella caught sight of Pete smoking a cigarette a few steps behind Ray. He gave her an apologetic smile and all she could offer was a small wave before Ray closed the passenger door on her.

She looked up at the rearview mirror and watched her father and his men confer together for moment before Kozik hugged her father and he got in the car with a pat in the back from Clay Morrow.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let's go."

"Do you think we can stop so I can change?" she asked as she removed her high heels.

He looked at her as she tried to pull down the skirt of her dress which had pulled up as she sat to reveal her lean, sun kissed legs. "We'll stop once we cross state borders. Don't want to take any risk."

He put on the ignition and started the car, waiting for the Tacoma Charter to take the lead in their convoy. The plan was for them to be escort them to the city limits and once sure there was no tail on them, they would be left on their own.

After a few minutes, she turned to him. "How is your arm?"

He spared her a quick glance and saw the worry in her eyes. "Gee, Ella, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were worried about me."

She scoffed. "Well you are driving the car I'm in. I'd prefer to know you're not going to drive us into a wall."

He let out a snigger. The sassy girl he had met on the side of the road not long ago was still there. She was just hiding beneath the surface, ready to go straight for the jugular given the right opportunity. "The arm is fine, doll. It's not the first bullet I take."

They drove in silence for a few miles as Ella watched the roads became more and more unfamiliar. "Are you at least going to tell me where I'm going?"

He sighed. There was no harm in giving her the information now and he was afraid she wouldn't stop until he did. "Charming. We'll make a quick stop to Rogue River first."

"I should have guessed. Can I ask you something?"

"If I say no, will that stop you?"

She ignored his remark. "Why did you transfer?"

"It's none of your business."

"It's a simple question Kozik.

"And I answered it."

She decided to drop the subject sure she wouldn't be getting any answers, at least not then. "Here's another, how did you know where to find me yesterday?"

He had been waiting for her to ask him this; he didn't want to lie to her like he had to do with Tig. "I was following you." He replied truthfully.

"Why?"

"When I saw you on the parking lot, you… you looked upset. I thought it might be because of what happened the other night. I… I guess I just wanted to apologize for losing it with you. You just seem to have that effect on me."

She bit back a snark. "Well _I_ guess you being an ass kind of saved my life."

"Kind of? Your ass's sitting right next to me aren't you?"

She suppressed a smile. "I should probably should thank you for that."

"Let's just call it even."

She seemed to think about something for the next few minutes before she spoke again. "You looked different. When you were shooting at this guy, you looked… I don't know how to explain it …you just seemed like a different person. You must hate this, right? Being stuck here with me, knowing you'll be missing all the action?"

"Your company isn't that bad. Besides, your dad asked me to look after you." He turned to her with a smirk. "Can't imagine why but he's grown fond of you."

"You always do what people ask you to do, Kozik?"

"I'm an ex-military Ella, it's what we do. You should try it sometime."

"So, you're really not going to tell me why you transferred?"

He felt himself grin. He knew she hadn't given up on getting an answer from him. "No, Ella, I'm really not going to tell you."

"Come on, was it because of girl?" she taunted.

"What's this? Twenty questions?

"It's called a conversation. You should try it sometime." She interjected, throwing his words back at him.

"Alright. Let's play this game. This thing with you and your old man, what is that?

She rolled her eyes at his choice of subject. "Let me guess, you're going to tell me what an ungrateful bitch I am."

"Your words sweetheart."

"You've barely been here a month Kozik, you might think you know Ray and you might think you know me but you don't, so spare me the lecture."

"Yeah, I guess you're the first person in the world to have a bad relationship with a parent." He mocked.

She felt her annoyance levels rise up again. "If you've got something to say Kozik, say it."

"I saw the look on his face after the attack yesterday. That man was going to kill anyone he had to bring you home safely. And I'm not saying he's going to get the father of the year award anytime soon, but he would walk through fire for you. That should count for something right?"

She scanned his face for a moment, trying to find clues, understand what he was getting at. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"Do what?"

"Try and make me understand him, understand them. You did the same thing the other night."

"I don't know Ella." He let out a deep breath. "Maybe I do it, so you'll understand _me_. I'm one of them Ella. You might think I'm different but at the end of the day, I'm one of them."

She kept her eyes on him trying to decide how she should answer him. Before she could muster a response, a chorus of blaring horns started as the bikes slowed downed before making a u-turn to return to Tacoma, leaving the SUV alone on the quiet road.

"Guess we just lost our escort. You should try and get some rest, Ella. We got a long drive to the border."

She knew he was putting an end to the conversation and she almost felt relief. It had started on a light note but it got too personal, too quick. She was having such a hard time figuring him out; it wasn't something she was used to. Maybe because she'd never put that much effort into trying to understand anyone like that before. Every time she thought she had him pegged, he went and did or said something that took her completely by surprise. And no matter how much he challenged her, no matter how much he annoyed her, she never seemed to be able to be close up to him.

She turned her attention to the road and decided to try and listen to him for once, and get some sleep.

**Two chapters in one day, I know. But I really wanted to get moving with Ella and Kozik on the road. So hope you enjoyed and as always please review!**


	14. Nothing in this world

**Chapter XIV- Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again.**

**Previous chapter didn't get much feedback but I want to thank DarkChild19 for the continuous support of this story. Your previous review made me rethink most of this chapter and I'm very happy with how it turned out. Hopefully you guys will be to!**

Kozik glanced at the passenger seat and realised that Ella was still asleep. She must have really been exhausted. They had been driving for almost three hours and she had been sleeping for most of it. The only sound around was the sound of the windscreen wipers clearing out heavy rain that was now falling on the car. He didn't mind though, he was happy for the silence, it gave him time to think. He hadn't had much time to actually stop and think the last few days. Things had gotten so crazy, so fast… and it didn't look like it would calm down anytime soon. And usually, Kozik wouldn't have minded. On the contrary, he craved the action, lived for it. For a man like him, it was like finally breathing fresh air after being on life support. But this time, he couldn't let himself enjoy any of it and he knew exactly why. Innocents were getting hurt. He was no choir boy but innocents were off limits. And yet, he had been standing right by when Ray shot Tina Ortega in the head. He had also been there when Ella barely made it out with her life because of what they had done. And at the end of the day, he knew it was what bothered him the most. When he had finally spotted her hiding behind that tree with those assholes hunting her like some animals, he'd felt his insides turn upside down and felt this compulsive need to get to her, to protect her and kill anyone who got in the way of that. He still felt it now. That was why he hadn't hesitated when Ray had asked him to escort Ella out of the state. He turned to look at her again, and had to fight the urge to brush a strand of silky hair that was falling on her eyes. She might have been off limits to him but he couldn't ignore the effect she had on him; simply put she was devastatingly gorgeous and somehow her strong headed personality was only serving to reinforce his attraction to her. He let out a long sigh as he concentrated his attention back to the road. Fate was playing a cruel game on him. She was the first woman who'd ever been able to gain his interest beyond the superficial. She was obnoxiously smart no doubt about that, she was quick witted, fearless. She was certainly a piece of work but it was part of what he liked about her. She was like a volcano waiting to explode any minute and despite the danger, you wanted to stay and watch. He hadn't been averse to relationships even though he was quite sure how others made it work with their Sons duties, but he had never met a woman who made him want to even consider it. The only relationship he had had was on of a different kind. A kind that would have killed him if it wasn't for another Son. No, _love them, leave them_, that had always been his motto. No complications, no expectations, no disappointments. But then he had met Ella Strickland on the side of a road and she had made him question his entire outlook on this and of all people, she had turned out to be Lethal Ray Strickland's daughter. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to hate anything remotely linked to the Sons of Anarchy and by extension anyone linked to the club. Yeah, fate was definitely playing a cruel game on him.

He spotted a sign indicating a gas station and checked the car clock. They had crossed state lines a while ago passing Salem a few minutes back which meant now halfway through to Rogue River. He decided it was time for a break and took a right. A few minutes later he was pulling off in front of a run down diner right by the gas station. As soon as he turned off the ignition, Ella stirred no longer rocked by the car vibrations. She stifled a yawn and rubbed her stiff neck before asking. "Where are we?"

He took out the car key and turned to her. "A few miles south of Salem." He took out his glock and checked it was correctly loaded before putting it back to his waist. "Stay here while I take a look. Lock the doors, I'll be back."

Before she could even respond he took off leaving her alone.

"Yes, boss." She muttered begrudgingly not liking the authoritative tone he was taking with her.

Kozik walked to the gas station to buy some cigarettes. As he was walked to the cashier, his prepay rung. He took it out checking the caller ID before picking up.

"_Where are you?"_ he heard Tig growl on the other side of the line.

_Well, hello to you too asshole _was what Kozik wanted to reply. But he didn't want to indulge Tig right now. He knew that even though he loved Gemma to bits, the charming SAA was pissed off that he had been sent on a babysitting mission and was antsy to get back to Tacoma. "We're about halfway. Should here just after nightfall. All good with you guys?"

"_We're fine_." Tig retorted. "_Just get your ass down here_."

Before Kozik could even answer, he heard the insistent tone of a disconnected line and realised Tig had already hung up. He understood why Tig was pissed at him but by god, that jerk frustrated the hell out of him sometimes.

The heavy cashier a woman named Marge called out to him. "You're gonna buy something, darlin?"

"Yeah, a pack of American spirit, please." He put a twenty dollar note on the counter before asking. "Say, the diner, is it any good."

"Best peach pie you'll find in Oregon."

He grinned. "I love peach pie. Keep the change."

He exited lighting a cigarette and made his way to the diner. He took note of four cars and a camper van on the parking lot. Scanning the diner from the outside window, he noticed a family having lunch and guessed the camper van was probably theirs. Aside from them, there was only a couple of old guys nursing some coffee, a waitress and a cook. Satisfied, Kozik made his way back to the SUV at the back of the diner. He unlocked the doors from a distance and although the windows were tinted, he should have been able to spot a shadow, but he couldn't. His radar kicked in gear and he picked up his pace opening the passenger door in a haste. She was gone.

"Shit!"

* * *

><p>Ella hated being told what to do, positively, one hundred percent hated it. She didn't not accept to be bossed around based on the simple fact that she was a woman, because if they were honest, Kozik would never talk to a man like he was talking to her. Plus would it be too much for him to say please, or thank you every once in a while?<p>

She had waited for him in the car for more than ten minutes, when she'd noticed the outside bathroom at the back of to the gas station. She knew she should probably wait until he came back but as soon as she had seen it, her need for a bathroom break had become impossible to ignore. Plus, she really needed out of those clothes. So rummaging through her handbag she had found some paper and a pen and left him a note telling him where she'd gone before gathering her stuff and heading out. She pulled up a pair of tattered jeans which fit her perfectly before folding her black dress and putting it back into her duffel bag. She slid into her favorite tee shirt, a grey number with a loose fit and a round neckline before opening the door and exiting the stall. She had taken out the clip that was locking her hair in place, preferring to let it flow freely and lost the high heels for a pair of low converse and checking herself in the mirror, she found she was satisfied with the result. _Now she felt slightly better, more…her._

The door to the bathroom violently opened and a furious Kozik walked in and made a bee line for her. "Are you out of your god damn mind? Which part of stay put did you not get?" he barked.

"I needed the bathroom. I left you a note."

He took a menacing step towards her, clenching his fists, the vein on his neck throbbing through his tattoo. He bent down to be eye level with her and wagged a finger at her raising his voice again. "I don't care! I asked you to stay in the car until I got back, Ella. In the goddamn car. Why the fuck can't you just do what you're told just for once?"

Ella felt a sudden raw anger rise in her . She clenched her teeth, meeting his accusatory eyes before answering coolly. "Stop yelling at me."

He continued his rant as if he didn't even hear her. "You need to start doing what I…"

This time, she couldn't contain it. "Quit yelling at me!" she yelled right back

"I'm not yelling at you!"

"Yes, you are, you're yelling at me! You're constantly yelling at me. I am so sick of this shit! Stay here, do what you're told, don't ask any questions! I'm not some croweater you can boss around Kozik!

He took another step towards her and she instinctively took a step back bumping into stall door. "No, you're just a fuckin' pain in my ass, Ella. Ever since I've met you all you've been is a gigantic pain in my ass! You really think I want to be stuck here with an ungrateful brat like you? You think I enjoy running after your wacky ass in the middle of nowhere? You don't think I'd rather be anywhere else but here?"

If looks could kill, he would be dead. She was fuming, staring daggers at him, her eyes burning with anger; her lips were pursed together so hard, they had lost their color. Then, she thought she saw something in his eyes that almost unsettled her, regret maybe? She couldn't quite recognize it but she saw his face soften as he ran his hand in his hair frustrated. ." Jesus Ella, I'm just trying to protect you and you're making it really hard."

That was another refrain she was tired of hearing. She wouldn't _need_ protection if it wasn't for him. For them. No one had apologized to her for that. No one was trying to kill her before they killed that Mayan's sister. She was in danger because they put her there. She should be home, packing her mother's belonging, grieving, moving on with her life. Instead she was stuck in a hell hole bathroom being yelled at. She'd expect that from her father, she'd expect from Chance, but not from him. It angered her, it belittled her, and yes, it hurt too. She swallowed hard and seethed. "Screw your protection Kozik. And screw you."

She angrily grabbed her duffle bag and stomped out.

* * *

><p>Kozik flatted his hand on the wall, dropping his head and letting out a frustrated groan. She really was testing his limits, but somehow he was who felt like a dick. He knew he shouldn't have yelled at her the way he just did. He had just been so scared when he'd gotten to the car and realised she was gone. In the few moments, before he found the note, he'd felt the same crippling fear he'd felt when he lost track of her and Ortega the day before. His throat had dried up, his heart had started thumping through his chest. He had been completely panicked. That's why he had lost it with her. He knew his words had hurt her. Again. Standing alone in that bathroom, he realised the way he was feeling wasn't her fault, he was the one who needed to figure shit out. He took a deep breath and made his way out of the bathroom, intent on apologizing to her. But as soon as he got out, he noticed her walking under the rain, expect she wasn't walking towards the car. She was going the opposite way.<p>

"ELLA!"

He knew she'd heard him as he saw her quickening her pace. He started running after her. "ELLA!"

She glanced behind and started running as well but he was too fast for her. He was on her in seconds, locking his arms around her waist. She trashed around trying to get away from his firm hold on her.

"Let me go!"

He heard anger in her tone, but mostly it was the pain and desperation that got him. With his good arm, he brought her closer to him so his face was near her shoulder and his mouth inches away from her ear. "I'm sorry, Ella, I'm sorry." He whispered hoping to calm her down.

Instead he heard her let out a sob and realised she was crying. "Let me go!" she cried out again.

This time he did as asked and let her go. She took two steps away from him; just enough to be out of reach and turned to face him. The relentless that was poring on them soaking both of them to the skin. Her wet hair was sticking to her skin, as was her clothing as she struggled to regain control and catch her breath. She met his eye and he was able to read so many things emotions in that one look. Pain, grief, fury. He had wondered how long it would take for the events of the last few days to catch up with her. He was surprised it hadn't happened before. Throughout her ordeal, she had just held her head up high and tackled everything head on. Most people would have curled up in a ball and given up by now. But not her. She might be pig headed and infuriating but it took a special kind of strength to deal what she had faced with grace and courage. But you could only push someone so much before they pushed back. Everyone has a breaking point and as he gazed into her eyes, he knew she was about to reach hers and he wanted to be there for her, hold her and tell her it would be all okay."Elle."

She was quicker this time. Placing her hands on the top of his chest, she shoved him as hard as she could. "Fuck you Kozik." He stood there impassive, deciding to let her have it out. She came at him again, pushing again. "Fuck you."He had known it was coming but it still hurt him when he saw her face crumple in pain. "Fuck you." She sobbed putting her hand on her mouth to silence herself, still fighting it.

He closed the gap between them slid his hand behind her neck pulling her in his arms. He felt her trying to resist but he had a firm hold. He held her closely, his hand caressing the back of her neck in a soothing effort. "It's okay. Just let it out, babe." Suddenly it was all happening at once, her last defenses were falling down. He felt her hand slide beneath his cut and grip his tee-shirt, holding on for dear life as she buried her face in his chest, her body quivering as she sobbed uncontrollably. He looked up and saw the family he had spotted at the diner earlier, watching them suspiciously.

The father seemed to hesitate a moment, before calling out to them. "Everything okay there?"

"Everything is fine. She's fine."

The man looked at them a moment longer before shrugging his shoulders and walking away with his wife and kids. Kozik tightened his hold of her, kissing the top of her head while he murmured. "It's gonna be okay."

* * *

><p>Ella wouldn't have been able to tell how long she remained locked in his embrace but by the time she pulled away it had stopped raining and the sun was making a shy attempt to come out. She hadn't wanted to leave the warmth of his body, she wanted to retain the feeling of safety she felt in his arms. The other reason was that she was scared of what she might see in his eyes when she finally looked at him. Sorrow? Or even worse pity? She didn't think she could handle him pitying her. But when she shivered, she felt him pull away.<p>

"You're cold."

It hadn't been a question but head still on his chest, she nodded anyway before raising her eyes to him. It wasn't pity she saw, instead she saw him flinch and stifle a moan of pain as she disentangled herself from him.

"Are you okay?"

He pursed his lips and gave her a reassuring look. "I'm fine."

"Is it your arm?" She moved the cut aside and saw a pool of blood on his flannel shirt. "Oh, my god, I'm sorry, I must have pulled one of your stitches. I'm so sorry."

"Hey." His left hand cupped her face. "It's okay."

She covered his hand with hers. "What can I do?" she asked resolute.

He grinned at her through the pain. "You know how to sew?"

"Kozik…"

He tried to be reassuring. "It's like sewing on fabric, Ella."

"Except it'll be your skin." She took a breath knowing she didn't have a choice. It was her fault after all. "Ok."

"Come on."

She picked up her own duffel bag which had been thrown to the floor as she was trying to get away from him and followed him as they went back to the car. He opened the trunk taking out his backpack before locking the car again. They remained silent as they made their way towards the bathroom. Once there, Kozik put his backpack by the sink and she watched him rummage through it, coming up with a sewing kit, dressings and rubbing alcohol. He washed his hands and with a look invited her to do the same, before taking out a needle from the kit and using his lighter he sterilized the needle before giving it to her to thread it. She did as she watched him remove his cut carefully folding it and putting it aside before removing his shirt, finding himself in a white wife beater. He sat on the counter to be at the right height for her to work on him. "You ready?"

She met his eyes and he could tell she wasn't. "Maybe we should get you something for the pain."

"Don't worry love. I'm good at controlling the pain."

"I'm about to run through your skin with a needle, Kozik. Don't be a macho about it."

"I'm not."

She gave him a look that told him she didn't believe him.

"I can't..take anything. Nothing that would make a difference anyway. I'm an ex-junkie."

She looked down, kicking herself for pushing the issue and suddenly thought of something. He saw riffle through her bag and produce a small flask. She handed it to him with a triumphant smile. "Here. Don't drink it all, I'm going to need some of that."

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it with an impressed laugh. "Alright." He conceded opening the flask and taking a large sip, letting the liquid burn his throat. "Bourbon, uh? Figured you for a tequila girl." He teased as he returned the flask to her.

She kinked an eyebrow. "Guess I'm full of surprises." She retorted before taking a mouthful from the flask and setting it aside.

"Guess you are."

She gave him the needle to hold and let out a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She took clean gauze, imbibed it with rubbing alcohol and started cleaning out the wound to get a better view. She estimated that she'd need about three stitches. _You can do this._ She told herself as she tried to steady her shaking fingers. He raised his free hand and put it on hers. "You good?"

She nodded with more confidence that she felt and took the needle from his hand. As she picked his skin for the first time, Kozik clenched his jaw biting down a curse. He shut his eyes, gripping the side of the sink.

She pulled on the thread wondering what she could do to help when she noticed his dog tags. "Who's Herman?"

He opened his eyes and gazed into hers. "It's my first name."

She didn't even try to suppress her mocking smile "Your name is Herman Kozik? How did you make it through the army with a name like that."

"Watch it. "he warned playfully. " First, I wasn't in the army, I was in a Seal."

She must have looked really surprised because he scoffed "You know, the surprised look? It's offensive."

"Sorry I wasn't expecting that. What's the second?"

He frowned. "What?"

"You said, first as if you were going to make a second point."

"Second…Herman was actually my father's name. I'm Herman Kozik the second."

"I can't believe I didn't know what your first name was." She didn't say anything for a bit as she pierced his skin a second time. "Where is he now? Your dad?"

"He died when I was ten. Shot in the head. He went to buy a pack of cigarette and never made it back."

Her eyes flew to him "I'm sorry Koz… I didn't mean…." She stopped talking and sniggered "I feel like I keep putting my foot right in it."

"It's okay. I just... I haven't thought about it in so long you know." He tried a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "He was a real stand up guy my old man, straight as an arrow. He worked his ass off for his family, never complained. Loved my mum to bits. After he died, she… she just changed you know. She started drinking, shacked up with some mean son of a bitch. Used to beat on us all the time. Then one day, I'm big enough to defend myself, and I do. I almost couldn't stop. He ended up in the hospital and I ended up in a cell. She took two weeks to post my bail. When I finally get out, she's there, waiting for me, alone. And I think, she's here to take me home you know, she hugs me and then she looks at me and tells me she doesn't want to lose him. And she just gets back in her car and leaves. I never saw her again. She died a few years ago, didn't make it the funeral."

He looked up at her, suddenly realizing he had talked for a long time and feeling self conscious. Her eyes were locked on his face. Sometime during his story, she had stopped moving, concerned only with listening to him, learning about him. Sure, everyone has a sad story, but his touched her, made her heart ache and she was starting to know exactly why. It was the same reason why she'd suddenly felt this feeling of stillness and calm while he was holding her, the same reason she hadn't been able to push him away from her thoughts since that fateful afternoon where he'd helped her on the side of the road. Ever since, he'd waltzed into her life, she had felt it but had refused to admit it. But she couldn't deny it anymore. She was falling for him and she was falling fast.

"Don't look at me like that, Ella."

"Like what?"

He smiled as he brought up his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his fingers. "Like you're about to make my life very complicated."

She felt a small smile creep up her face as he brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. Her eyes never leaving his, she took a step towards him and caressed his face following his jaw line before tracing his mouth with her with her thumb. She was suddenly a teenager again about to get her first kiss. Heart pounding, throat drying up, stomach refusing to sit still. She swallowed nervously and leaned towards him, slowly replacing her fingers with her lips. She barely touched his mouth at first, just lightly brushing it with hers. His lips surprised her by their softness. She intensified the kiss wanting to taste him. His hand slid under her hair as he pulled her closer. She opened her mouth slightly, as he whispered her name in her mouth before taking her mouth with his tongue.

**I hope you enjoyed this, and as always all feedback welcome!**


	15. There are remedies far worse

**CHAPTER XV – There are some remedies worse than the disease**

The first thing that went through Kozik's mind as she opened her mouth to let him slide his tongue in it, was that she tasted better than he could possibly have imagined. The second thought that went through his mind was that he never wanted it to stop. The last thought that went through his mind was that he was in deep shit but at that very moment he couldn't care less.

Everything that happened, everything he did since the day they'd met had led him right here in that shitty bathroom in the middle of nowhere and right then he didn't care what happened to him as long as he could keep kissing her. He slid his hand behind her neck lightly grazing her skin with his finger before running his hand through that silky hair as he had wanted to do for weeks, pulling her closer to him. He felt her tongue run along his lip as her hands slid from his face to his waist gripping him and he realised it had been a long time since he'd kissed anyone like that, with actual meaning.

The sensation of her soft lips on his, her hands on his body, hers so close to him, It was bliss and torture at the same time which was why it took all the strength he had to pull away from her. But as much as he loved kissing her and wanted to keep doing it, his mission was to protect her and bring her to safety and that had to come first. He gazed into her eyes. "We need to get going."

"Yeah." She nodded, flashing a shy smile. "First kiss in a public restroom. I always knew you were a romantic, Kozik,"

He smirked. "Hey, _you_ kissed _me_."

"It was a distraction tactic. I was stitching your arm remember?"

He flicked his eyes to his shoulder quickly checking the wound and turned back to her, taking her hand in his. "You did good."

Not for the first time, he noticed she didn't know how to take compliments. She let go of his hand and looked away. "Let me bandage it."

For the next few minutes, they remained silent as she covered his wound with gauze. Once she was finished, he put his shirt back on and slipped into his cut as she washed her exited the bathroom and made their way through the parking lot in silence. As she reached for the passenger door, he grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"What?"

His mouth descended on her before she could say another word. He placed a hand on each side of her face as she rose on her tip toes and locked her arms around his neck to fully accept his kiss. Their first kiss had been tender, warm, hesitant. This kiss was impatient, demanding and off the scales hot. She let him take complete possession of her mouth. Again, pulling away was torture for Kozik. He rested his forehead on hers, his eyes meeting hers. "Hope you liked the second kiss better."

She had a soft chuckle. "Parking lot. Much better."

She pressed her lips on his one last time and opened the passenger door, stepping into the car as he threw his stuff back in the trunk and joined her in the car. They shared a charged look as he sighed before stating simply. "You know, this isn't going to be simple right."

She snorted. "It usually isn't."

He nodded in agreement and turned on the ignition. As he pulled away from the parking lot, she sang out. "Does that mean you're going to tell me what happened in Charming?"

He laughed heartily. " Not even close."

* * *

><p>It was getting dark by the time they reached their destination, a little over two hours later. They hadn't said much during the drive, both choosing to internally process what had happened between them but also what was going to happen. Tomorrow, he would have to leave her under the protection of Rogue River and the remaining SAMCRO crew as they took her to Charming while he returned to Tacoma. If he made it out alive, there would be plenty of time to talk about what this all meant.<p>

As they entered the parking lot of the motel, Kozik spotted Tig and a few of the Rogue River guys drinking a beer and smoking. The motel belonged to a friend of the club and it was to be theirs for the night. They would be the only patrons. He pulled over and they both got out of the car without a word as Tig made his way towards them visibly pissed.

"What the fuck took you so long?"

"My stitches popped. Had to stop."

Tig's eyes narrowed on him, he was visibly not convinced. "That couldn't wait until you got here?"

Behind Tig, Kozik saw one of the doors open and Gemma came out and walked in their direction. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, before putting her hand on Ella's shoulders "You guys okay?"

"Yeah, just had to stop to clean my wound and stich me back up. Ella did a great job."

Gemma surprised look was almost theatrical. "She did? I'm impressed."

Ella bit a snarky response and instead flashed Gemma a fake smile. "Wasn't much."

Gemma returned the smile and decided to change the subject. "You hungry?"

"No, I just want a shower to be honest."

Before she could ask Kozik, he replied. "I got to check in with Tacoma. I'll get something later."

"Alright sweetheart." She cupped his cheek and kissed him before turning back to Ella. "Follow me." Gemma replied with a nod towards the motel. Ella couldn't help but notice that as usual, no matter where she was the Queen Bee expected everyone to just do as she said. Before she could help herself, Ella's eye shot to Kozik's.

He met her look and gave her a slight nod. "I'll bring your stuff over."

She walked away following Gemma as Tig faced Kozik a salacious smile on his face. " What? You're her lackey now?

"It's called not being a dick Tig. Try it." He snarled, walking away before Tig could engage him further. Kozik let out a tired sigh and pulled up his phone. He needed to know what was going on in Tacoma. Knowing there was a lot of chances for Ray to be busy, he pressed the speed dial and called Pete.

"_Hey"_

"It's Kozik." He stated holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he dug into his pockets for a smoke.

"_What's up man? Where are you guys?"_

He lit his cigarette and took a slow drag before answering. "We just got to Rogue River. Tig and Gemma are already here."

"_Yeah I know. How is Ella holding up?"_

Kozik took a beat before answering. "She's doing fine. Don't worry. Gemma is just showing her inside. How are things up there?"

"_Moving slowly. Clay's reached out to Alvarez down in Oakland. He wants to set up a meet to try and solve this without shedding too much blood."_

Marcus Alvarez was the Oakland Mayan president. He had a lot of influence on the other Charters on the West Coast. If someone could help avoid a full blown war, it was him. "How is Ray taking that?"

_Pete cackled. "How do you think? He's pissed as hell but Clay is pulling his mother charter card and he's threatening to pull off the support if we don't give this a try. I got to say he has a point. We can't afford another war. The last one cost us three chapters. Who knows how many more we'd lose with another one?"_

"Pete, Ortega attacked the daughter of our President. That can't go unpunished." Kozik pointed. The very thought that

"_You don't think I know that? We just need to look at this the smarter way Brains before bullets and all that shit."_

Kozik chuckled softly. "Alright, well Tig and I should be here by midday tomorrow. Let me know if anything happens until then."

"_You got it brother." He seemed to want to add something for a moment. "Tell Ella I said hi, will ya?"_

"You got it VP."

* * *

><p>Ella walked out of the shower and wrapped her body in a towel. She quickly patted a second towel over her wet air to remove excess water before letting it flow freely on her shoulders. The shower had done her a world of good. She felt refreshed, and it gave her an opportunity to gather her thoughts. So much has happened in the last couple of days, her emotions were all over the place and she wasn't sure how to handle it all. She felt grief for her mother, sadness for how she had left things with Pete, fear for her father and the men who were risking their lives back home, happy, Tease, Wizard, Stone and the others. She might dislike what they were but she still considered them family. But with what happened with Kozik, she felt…confused, conflicted. She had loved kissing him, she had found herself wishing it would never end. In her mind, there was no doubt that it had been waiting to happen since they'd met. But she couldn't help but wonder what now? There were so many obstacles to a relationship with him, so many unanswered questions. Did he even want something with her? Did she? If she did, how did that play into her plans? Ray had finally agreed to let her go. She had no idea where or how, but did what happen today changed things?<p>

She was interrupted in her thoughts by a knock on the door. She walked back into the bedroom and approached the door.

"_It's me."_ She heard from the other side.

She smiled and opened. He was holding her bag in one hand and a paper bag that smelt wonderfully in the other hand. His eyes widened when he realised she wasn't wearing clothes but he quickly recovered as she moved aside to let him in.

He swallowed hard. "I got your bag."

She nodded toward the paper bag. "is that for me too?"

"Yeah, I figured you might be hungry after all."

They fell silent for a moment. She had to admit that she liked his reaction to her semi nakedness. She might be an independent woman but she did appreciate the effect she had on men. Especially this man. He seemed to realise she was enjoying watching him squirming."You want to go get dressed before I get us both in trouble?"

She smiled and decided to put him out of his misery. She grabbed some clothes from her bag and went back to the bathroom, closing the partition door.

She pulled on her underwear and called out. "Did you speak to my father?"

"_Nah, I spoke to Pete though. He says hi."_

"Did he say anything else?"

"_Not much."_

She threw on her shorts and camisole and covered up with her usual cardigan. She checked herself in the mirror and pulled her hair up in a messy bun finally opening the door with a grin. "You know, you were much better at the whole conversation thing when you were trying to flirt your way with me."

He was sitting on the chair by the desk. He had laid out hamburgers and fries on the desk and taken out two beers from the mini fridge that was plugged near the bed. He smiled and held out a hamburger to her "Eat." He ordered.

She sat on the desk and unwrapped her burger. She took a huge bite and realised that she was indeed starving. They ate in silence for a moment until she realised he was observing her. She swallowed and raised a questioning eyebrow. "What?"

He took a swig off his beer. "Can I ask you something? Your ink. What's the inscription above it?"

Her back tattoo. A snake coming out of a hole making its way through a vine rope that went from the small of her back to her neck. It was one of Gillian's first work and she had done a great job with it. Ella had two smaller ones, ones that were not as easily seen as the one on her back but she loved the snake. Her lips curling into a small smile. "Noticed that, uh? It's French. It means embrace the snake and it will bite you."

He let out a surprised laugh. "I should have known."

"I was an angry teenager."

"As opposed to the calm and sensible person you are now?" he mocked.

She threw a fry at him. "Ass." She wanted to ask questions as well but she wasn't sure how he would take it. She wanted to know more about him. Understand him. "Can I ask something too?" she began, biting her lip.

"As long as you stop biting your lip like that because it is terribly distracting."

She opened her mouth in false shock and continued timidly. "Can you tell me about the drugs?"

He took a huge breath and threw his head back before standing up. She thought he might just walk out just like that and was about to leap off the desk when he spoke. "If we're going there, I'm going to need another beer. Want one?"

She nodded as he took out two fresh beers, twisting the caps of hers before handing it to her, doing the same with his.

He didn't sit back on the chair though and just sat on the bed. "I was in the Navy. The seals. I got hurt in a mission. Nothing major, I was back in the field within weeks. But then I started getting this chronic pain in my back, you know, it wouldn't let out. Doctors couldn't do shit. And then this guy I knew he… he tells me how he can get me some pick ups you know, to get rid of the pain. At the time I didn't even think of them as drugs. It was just pain killers. Before I realised it though, I was out of my mind on morphine four times a day. My bosses picked up on it, agreed to turn a blind eye if I left quietly. I was brought back to the US. Soon after, every dime I got was going into drugs. Didn't matter what it was as long as I could get high. Anyway I met this girl, Amy. We shacked up together. We were together for a few months and then one day someone knocks at the door. It's her mum. She tells me that Amy was found dead in some seedy street. OD'd." He suddenly stopped as if the history was getting too painful, letting out a sad breath. " She was gone for three days and I didn't have a fucking clue. The look on her mother's face when she realised I didn't know. I'll never forget the hate in her eyes. So I knew I had to do something or I was going to end up like Amy. Except I didn't even have a mother to regret me. So I called an old friend, a marine. He helped me get clean SAMCRO style, sponsored me with the club et voila."

Her eyes narrowed on him as she tried to guess who his benefactor might have been "Tig?"

He nodded with a slight smile at her surprised look.

"I thought you two hated each other?"

"Don't let him fool you, Tig loves me . We've had a fall out, that's all"

"About a girl?"

Kozik chuckled "You're not getting that story, babe."

She gave him a pointed look and lept off the desk to come and sit next to him. Her smile disappeared and she looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dredge up old wounds."

"Don't worry about it."

She turned her attention to her beer and he barely heard her next question. " What you guy have to do now? It could get you killed right?"

"You don't have to worry about me Elle."

She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. She was amazed at how small her hands looked in his. "Well, I do. So when you're out there in the next few days, just… try and remember that someone might regret you if anything happened to you."

He raised his free hand cupping her cheek before wrapping his arm around her, kissing her forehead as he did. "I'll try to remember that."

They remained still for a moment, silently saying their goodbyes as they knew there would be too many people around the next day to do this properly. After a few minutes, he released her from his hold. "I should go before someone starts looking for me."

"Kozik. When this…thing is over, we should probably talk."

"I know."

He brushed his lips on hers in a soft kiss and exited the room.

* * *

><p>He walked to his car, rummaging his pocket for a smoke. Telling her that story had taken a lot out of him. He hadn't thought of that for years with good reason. It wasn't a time of his life he was proud of. But for some reason, he was happy he told <em>her. <em>She was right, when this was all over, they had a lot of shit to figure out.

"Hey, maybe when you're done with her, I can hit that too." He heard behind him.

He spun around to see Tig coming up from behind the car. He hadn't even heard him approach. "I already told you Tig, I'm not tapping her so cool it." He growled

"I'm not blind man. That little look earlier. I saw it. But hey I don't blame you man. I'm gonna love me some of that tight pu…"

He didn't have time to finish. Kozik grabbed his and violently push him on the car, leaning in, menace in his eyes. He knew that was stupid, he knew the Sergeant at Arms was only trying to mess with him and provoke a reaction and he had played right into it. But he didn't care. He needed to make one thing clear. "Stay the fuck away from her."

Tig eyes hardened. He sniggered before shaking Kozik off him. He shook his head in disbelief. "You stupid fuck, you really_ are_ doing her. All the prime pussy around and you go mess around your president's daughter. Shit is she even legal?"

"Fuck you."

"No, Fuck you man. How stupid are you?"

Kozik swallowed hard. There was nothing he could say right then. Denying anything was going on wouldn't do him any good with Tig. The man had been his best friend for years and he knew him better than anyone. He could read between the lines. And as much of a dick as Tig liked to be, Kozik knew he wouldn't say a word to anyone about his suspicions. Riling him was his own fucked up way of protecting him.

"Piece of advice, whatever it is kill it now, before you get real hurt." Tig hissed before walking away.

**This chapter originally had more scenes but then it got too long so decided to endit here. I should be able to post the next chapter which will introduce some familiar faces soon though so in the meantime I hope you enjoy and as usual I love any and all feedback so don't be shy!**


	16. Wave goodbye

**Chapter XVI- Wave goodbye**

Ella zipped her duffel bag closed, stifling a yawn. She heard the roar of motorcycles on the parking lot and walked to the window, moving the curtain aside to see what was going on. She recognized a few of the faces from Rogue River she had seen yesterday and spotted three men she hadn't seen before. She noticed that two of them had cuts that identified them as prospects. They seemed to be about her age. The first one was a tall and burly guy with a beard and long hair he hid behind a beanie while the other one had baby blue eyes, blond locks that grazed his neck and interestingly he was wearing white snickers instead of the usual biker boots. The last man was quite old and wore a denim cut. He was riding a motortrike which he didn't even bother dismounting and despite the early hour, he was already nursing a beer. She saw Tig walking to them, pushing the blond biker around and pulled the curtain back just as she heard a soft knock.

"It's open."

Kozik walked in. "Hey, you're ready to go?"

Ella's eyes traced his tall figure. He had ditched the flannel shirt for a white long sleeved tee shirt which flattered his muscular upper body and the result was very sexy. "Guessing that's my escort?"

"They're good guys, they'll take care of you."

She jerked her head to his shoulder. "How is the arm?"

"A little stiff but it'll be fine." Another moment of silence fell between them. "You got a prepay?"

She gave him a pointed look indicating it was a pretty silly question.

He told her off. "Don't look at me like that, let me have it."

She dug her phone out of her pocket and handed it to him. He keyed in his number before giving it back to her. "Now you have my number if you need it."

She felt her lips curl in a smile and gazed at him tenderly. "Thank you." She mouthed, as she closed the gap between them and placed a hand on his chest. She raised her head and pressed her lips against his in a quick kiss. "Be safe Kozik." she whispered before grabbing her bag and stepped outside.

She was blinded by the morning sun and put on her sunglasses before making her way towards the SUV. She heard him follow, closing the door behind them. She threw her bag in the trunk and leaned back on the car watching him interact with the Rogue River and Charming guys. She couldn't help but feel a pinch of guilt. She knew what was happening wasn't her fault per se, but she was also aware that the men were going to be out there risking their lives to protect her and she hated it. She hated playing the part of the fragile and defenseless woman who needed men to look after her well being.

"I never get used to it. Watching them go, not knowing if they'll come back."

Ella turned around and saw Gemma Teller studying her. Once again, Ella was stricken by the power than emanated from the woman. Ella could understand why most old ladies amongst the club were scared shitless of her. She had married not one but two club presidents, two first nine at that. She was known for being ruthless and disarmingly discerning. But despite that, as she had shown during their conversation the other night, Ella wasn't scared of Gemma Teller. She intrigued her, she sure as hell annoyed her, but she didn't scare her.

The queen bee rose an appreciate eyebrow at Ella. "You know, I didn't peg you as Kozik's type."

Ella tried to keep an impassible face. "Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?" she retorted

Gemma smiled and took a drag from the cigarette she was holding. "The way he looks at you, the way you look at him with those puppy dog eyes? It's cute. Stupid. But cute."

Ella clenched her teeth trying to decide how she should play this. In the end, she decided to take a leaf from Gemma's book and be blunt. "I didn't realise we were being watched."

"You don't want to be watched, Hon' you close the door." She put a hand on her hips and slid her sunglasses on the top of her head so she could glower at Ella. "You know I've known your father for years right? He's a great friend, great Pres but he's mean as a rabid dog."

Ella sighted loudly, showing her annoyance. "You're going somewhere with this?"

"I think you know exactly where I'm going with this. Kozik's a good man. He's not perfect, but he is a good man. I would hate to see him get hurt because some little tart is using him to work out her daddy issues. So in the future, you might want to learn to be more discreet."

She glared at Ella and walked away leaving her unsettled. She turned back to Kozik and realised he had been observing her exchange with Gemma. They locked eyes and she read worry in his eyes. She decided to reassure him, not wanting him to focus on anything else than his safety today and gave him a small wave and a smile.

* * *

><p>Kozik turned his attention back to his brothers wondering what Gemma had said to Ella. From her body language, he had seen that the conversation was making her uncomfortable. He'd known Gemma long enough to know she would be able to rattle just about anyone.<p>

"So that's Lethal Ray's daughter uh? She's hot."

Kozik turned to Jackson Teller with a cold look. "Keep it in your pants, Prospect. Tell me about the bike."

"Did a full check on it before we left. It's running real smooth, you just have to keep it clean in the turns though."

Tig walked to them. "You know, you could always borrow Piney's trike if a real one is to tough for ya. Now can we get the fuck out of here?"

Jax and Opie chuckled and Kozik glared at them. "What's so funny shitheads?"

"Nothing man."

He pointed a menacing finger towards Jax "Get going and keep your eyes on the road, if you don't want Lethal Ray after your collective prospects asses."

"Whatever you say, man. Come on, Ope."

Kozik looked on as the little prince of SAMCRO walked to Ella. He was going to drive the SUV back to Charming while Kozik took the bike he had come in with. Opie and Piney would open the escort and the Rogue River would follow behind. He trusted Jax. He had a good head on his shoulders and a brilliant future within the club. He was John Teller's legacy after all. He turned to Tig who was still staring at him intently. "What do you want Tiggy? A kiss? Let's go."

He glanced at Ella a last time meeting her gaze before putting on the helmet and hopping on the bike.

* * *

><p>Ella watched the blond man march towards her, a languid smile trailing on his lips. He had the confident demeanor of a man who knew he was handsome and was used to getting what he wanted out of women.<p>

"You know, when they told me I'd be escorting Ray Strickland's daughter, I didn't picture you like that."

She was still reeling from her conversation with Gemma. Who the hell did that woman think she was? "Yeah, how exactly did you picture me?" she nearly spat at him.

"I just figured you'd be like ten or something."

Not the answer she was expecting and she couldn't suppress a chuckle. "I assume you're the little Prince of SAMCRO."

He grinned. "Most people just call me Jax."

"Well, most people call me Ella."

"You ready?"

Ella nodded and they both climbed into the SUV. He opened the window and took out a smoke offering her one. She took it and leaned towards the lighter he was holding before Jackson turned on the ignition. Ella, watched as the other prospect and the old man opened the way, followed by Gemma's car and then the SUV. Looking in the side mirror, she saw five Rogue River guys trailing behind. They drove in silence for a moment before she turned to him and stroke a conversation. "So how come you weren't out in Tacoma with the rest of them?"

"Someone's got to stay in Charming to watch over things. Opie and I we're just prospects."

"Right. Because anyone is going to believe this is more than a mere formality."

He glanced at her, an amused look on his face. "Are you always like that?"

"Always like what?"

"On the attack?" he spelled out.

She giggled. "Occupational hazard. I_ am_ Lethal Ray's daughter after all."

This time, it was his turn to chuckle. He liked this girl. She was quick witted and smart. Not to mention she had a killer body to boot. This should be an interesting ride to say the least.

* * *

><p>After talking with Jax a while about life as the offspring of an MC president, Ella decided she liked him. He was fun to be around, took her shit but gave back as much as he took and treated her with respect. Sur, he was slightly obnoxious and kept flirting with her but as long as she didn't engage, they were fine. The conversation was so easy she didn't even notice they'd reached California until she saw the welcome to Charming sign. They drove through the town and Ella was amazed at how small it all looked. It was one of those towns you thought only existed in TV with a high street bordered with old school shops and diners. They even had a barber! Finally, they pulled into a compound and Ella realised they had reached their destination. Teller-Morrow Auto shop.<p>

Jax parked the SUV close to the garage and turned to her. "Welcome to Charming."

"So that's where it all started."

"That's the place, darlin'."

She rolled her eyes at the nickname he seemed to have chosen for her and opened the door, jumping off the car. Gemma came out of her car and called out to Jackson.

"Show her the apartment, will ya? Have one of the crow eaters change the sheets for her. I got shit to do in the office."

Ella hated when people talked about her as if she wasn't there but decided to ignore it. She was pretty confident Gemma was doing it on purpose anyway.

"I don't need anyone changing my sheets. I can do it myself." She told Jax.

"Trust me Darlin' , you don't want to touch those sheets."

The other prospect walked to them and held out his hand. "Hey, I'm Opie."

"Ella."

Jax jerked his head towards the building that stood behind them as he took her bag from the trunk. "I'm gonna show her inside the clubhouse."

"Alright, I'll be in the garage."

"Come on princess."

She followed him into the clubhouse and he guided her to a small apartment at the back.

"Sorry for the accommodation. It ain't exactly luxury."

She looked around and noticed some pictures pinned to the side of a mirror. A brunette girl, in Jax's arm. Cute. "I've seen worse."

He threw her bag on a chair. "Bathroom is over there, I wouldn't use the clubhouse restroom if I were you. If you need anything, ask me or one of the girls inside. I got to go help out Ope in the garage. You're going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Darlin'." she mocked

He let out a laugh and left her to it.

* * *

><p>Ray let out a long cloud of smoke as he sat back into his chair. He enjoyed his time alone in the Chapel. He always had. It had been the one place that had never betrayed him, the one place he felt at home.<p>

They were still waiting to hear from Marcus Alvarez and he was getting nervous. He had been pissed when Clay had reached out to the Oakland President without consulting him first but he knew Clay was only doing what he always did. Looking out for Clay. He was still trying to understand what the Charming President's angle was but he knew it wouldn't be long before that snake showed itself_. _

_Speak of the devil and he will appear_, Ray though as Clay opened the Chapel door and let himself in."My old lady just called. Ella is safe in Charming."

Ray acknowledged this with a nod. "Thanks Clay. I appreciate it."

"Alvarez's also reached out. Romero is offering a deal. They'll give us Ortega and the other man. There might have some people protecting them. They're fair game too."

"What does he want?"

"The Northern Territories."

Ray should have seen it coming. He knew Romero didn't give a shit about retaliation for his niece. He was just using this as an excuse to push his own agenda, killing two birds with one stone. He would get what he wanted all along, Ortega dead and the Northern Territories. "No."

"Oh, you might want to reconsider that answer old friend. Don't forget what started this shit, Ray." He pointed an accusing finger to him. "You shot that girl. Romero's got you by the balls and he knows it."

"They killed a prospect and a friend of the club."

"And you took it to family, Ray. It doesn't matter if you knew or not. You killed the sister of a club's VP. Our only grace right now is that Ortega acted without his club's backing when he went after Ella. So count your blessings and take the deal. Besides, I'm about to finalize a new deal with the Irish. Double the shipments coming from Belfast."

"Jesus Christ. How?"

"We have a new entry point in Port Authority. Should be live in the next few weeks. I want to include you in on this. Half the shipment comes your way, you supply Black, Chinese but not a single gun goes to the wetbacks. Let the Mayans dig their own grave and lie in it. In a few years, the Northern Territories will fall back onto your lap, I guarantee it. It's a win win, Ray."

"It'll never happen. Not with Pete at this table. He'll vote against it just to undermine me."

"I don't know what's going on with you two, but whatever it is, it gets resolved. It does not do anybody any good to see you at each other's throat. So I'm gonna ask you.. That shit between you, does it have anything to do with your old lady? " Clay chanced.

Clay saw Ray clench his fists, trying but failing not to betray any emotion. To be honest, he had been fishing. He just knew first hand that the one thing that could get between two brothers like that was usually pussy so he had decided to follow his instinct. Seeing the rage flash in Ray's eyes, he knew he was right. "Jesus Christ. Why didn't you take it to the table?"

"Would you?" Ray snarled through gritted teeth.

The man had a point. Bringing such a personal matter to the table wasn't something he would have been able to handle either. Letting everyone know that another man had bedded your wife under your nose? Ray could never live the humiliation down. But then again_ he_ had been the Pete in John and Gemma's marriage. Clay sucked on his cigar, as he thought about a resolution. He needed this new Irish deal. This would more than triple the club's revenue but he needed a charter like Tacoma on board to make it work. He suddenly had an idea that would guarantee his vote but also provide Ray with the right retribution. "Well, maybe he gets unlucky. Catches a bullet. Risk of the trade. It happens every day. Chance takes VP. And maybe Kozik seats at your right side. We both know he'd be a great choice."

Ray's eyes narrowed on Clay as he studied him with a mixture of horror and fascination. The mother charter president had just given him carte blanche to kill his vice president. A man who had been by his side for nearly thirty years, his daughter's godfather. It was a few minutes before he spoke again. "We'll call a vote on the Alvarez deal. When this is dealt with, we'll call another vote on the Irish deal."

Clay grinned viciously. "Now_ that's_ what I like to hear."

They heard a loud knock and Pete opened the door."Hey, Tig and Kozik are here." He looked from Ray to Clay. "Everything alright?"

"Alvarez's reached back. Gather everyone for a vote, we need a full table.

"No problem." He concluded before closing the door.

Clay turned to him. "We'll let you boys vote this thing. I might go get acquainted with that nice piece of tail in the reception." He said with a wink.

One by one the Tacoma club members walked in taking their seat at the table. A few minutes, later, every member was taking their seat around the table. Kozik walked in and went straight to his president who stood up to hug him.

"Heard Ella made it to Charming."

"Gemma Teller just confirmed it to Clay. Thanks Kozik."

"Anytime Pres."

"Take your seat."

Pete was the last one to enter the chapel. He closed the door and took his seat. Ray looked at his men one by one, before he spoke. "You all know what's on the table. Romero has agreed to give up Ortega and his man as well as anyone protecting them. He's working on getting us a location. In exchange, SAMTAC backs off the Northern Territories and let the Mayans take over.

Ray looked around waiting for someone to object. But when no one did, he took a deep breath and continued.

"I know some of you might feel that what happened to the prospect and to the Arsonist is going unpunished but Lenny Cox and Tina Ortega died to avenge their deaths. Now if it is this club's decision we will go to war. But we need to be very aware that it might be a war from which none of us comes back. Ortega was the one who went after Ella. He's the one who organized the ambush. He's how we get even. Now we need a unanimous vote. So all in favor?

Chance looked at his president. Not matter his personal feelings, he would always back his president. That was just who he was. "Ay." He declared.

As Ray stroke the gavel; a few moments later, a unanimous vote in favor had been cast.

* * *

><p>After a few hours pacing in the clubhouse apartment, driving herself crazy, Ella had found her way to the roof. From there she had a view of all of Charming. Now that the auto-shop had closed for the night, turning off the lights, she had a great view of the sky too. It was appeasing. There, she felt free to give in to her thoughts. She found herself thinking about her conversation with Gemma. Was she using Kozik to get back to her father?<p>

She was pretty sure the answer was no. She had been the first one surprised by her attraction to the man and she had denied it as long as she could even to herself. He used to represent everything she loathed. He was cocky, arrogant, thought the sun shone out of his ass. He was a player who'd bedded hundreds of girls before her and left them the next day without another thought.

But most of all, he was a Son. A criminal who didn't care who or what they hurt on their way. She knew he could and would kill anyone that stood in his way. She had seen the dark side of him, the hate in his eyes when he'd opened fire and thrown himself in front of her to shield her from the bullets. She wasn't naïve enough to ignore that.

Yet, She had seen another side of him, a softer side in the last couple of days. When he'd held her on the parking lot. When he'd kissed. When he told her about Amy. She found it really difficult to reconcile what she _knew _with the way she_ felt_ but she couldn't deny the connection between them.

It had become real the moment they kissed but Ella knew it had been there long before. She couldn't make sense of it but worse is she was starting to think she didn't want to try and make sense of it. When she'd kissed him, she'd been really affected by a crazy feeling, something that was hard to put into words, something she'd never thought she'd feel for anyone certainly not someone like him. When their lips had touched, it had been as if she had been asleep for years and she was suddenly waking up. She had felt…alive for the first time. _God, this is fairy tales shit catching up with you, Ella_!

But how else to explain that she could still feel his fingers on her face, how else to explain the way her body responded to his every time he got close. _No,_ she decided, _this was definitely real_. There wasn't even a small part of her playing games here. She didn't know what was happening between them but it was definitely there. And Ella knew this wasn't something she wanted to run away from. She wanted to find out what it was, she wanted him to come back safely to her so they could find out. She heard someone coming up the ladder and saw Jax make his way up with two beers.

"Hey, I was looking for you. See you found my spot." He started handing her a beer.

"Your spot?"

He took a gulp of his beer. "I come here sometimes. You know, to think about shit."

Ella looked at her beer as she pondered a question."Can I ask you something Jackson? You ever thought about doing something else? Something other than the club?"

He didn't answer straight away. For a moment, he seemed to get lost in his own thoughts. Finally he let out a sad chuckle."Funny, you're the second person to ask me that."

"Who's the other one?"

"Someone who left."

The brunette on the picture, Ella could tell by the sad tone he had used. "What was her name?"

"Tara."

"And what did you tell Tara?"

"That I've wanted to be a part of this since I was five years old." he replied with conviction. "My father was a Son, my step father is a Son. It's all I know. It's who I am. Without it, I'm not sure who I am."

She raised her bottle to him. "Well, here's to the future of SAMCRO."

He laughed and clanged his bottle with hers. "You want to come down? Play some pool or something?"

She seemed to think about it. "Maybe later. Just want to enjoy the view some more."

"Alright, knock yourself out." He replied climbing back done to the clubhouse.

They were both unaware that for the last few minutes, Gemma had been observing them. She had been about to lock her office door when she'd spotted them getting cosy on the roof.

"Unbelievable."

She was worried about her son. He had been miserable since his childhood sweetheart, Tara Knowles had left Charming for college a few months before. He had tried to numb the pain with booze and one night stands but crow eaters could only make you feel good for so long.

Gemma knew he was still working through some shit. If Ella had been the daughter of any other charter president, Gemma would have welcomed her with opens arms. That was what her son needed, a woman who understood the life, who embraced it. A woman who could be a rock for her son when shit got crazy, but she knew Ella Strickland wasn't that girl. And she would never be.

**Et voila! Please R&R!**


	17. You could make a killing

**Chapter XVII – You could make a killing**

_Sorry for the delay in updating, I have been on holidays for two weeks… hope you enjoy this chapter. There's been some questions asked in the reviews so I'm answering them on another A/N at the end._

_Just really wanted to say thank you to everyone reading this story. I now have 94 people following this story and it makes it so worth it so thank again to you all!_

_As always, can't wait to read your feedback!_

Jax walked back into the clubhouse and spotted Opie watching him with a wry smile from the bar. He joined him, taking a stool as Opie poured them two shots. "What's with the shit eating grin?"

Opie downed his whiskey. "You work fast, brother."

"Jesus Christ, you're worse than my mother. I talk to a girl for like what ten minutes and you're already picturing grandchildren."

Opie chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Don't you have a date with your girl anyway."

Opie had been dating Donna Emerson since sophomore year in High school. He had recently asked her to marry him and she'd said yes. Jax liked Donna. She was good for Opie. She was pretty, smart and had a good head on her shoulders. And even though she wasn't a big fan of the club, she knew and understood what the club mean to Opie and she accepted it.

He stood up and slid his cut on. "Yeah, I should probably head out. You sure, you don't need me tonight?"

"Nah. You're good. Anything nice planned?"

Opie shook his head. "I wish. Diner with her parents. They want to discuss the wedding. Her dick brother will be there too."

Jax couldn't help but laugh at the thought of his friend spending the evening under the accusatory eyes of his future in-laws who didn't think Opie was even close to deserving their only daughter. "What about him?" he said nodding towards Piney.

The old man was snoring like a freight train on the couch, holding a half empty bottle of tequila, lost to the world. Something that had been happening more and more since he'd taken booze as his new BFF. Opie ran his heand in his beard."He's out for the night. Just leave him be."

"Alright brother." Jax replied hugging his best friend "Say hi to Donna for me."

Opie headed out, meeting Gemma on his way out. She cupped his cheek and kissed it.

"You're off?"

"yeah, Donna's waiting for me. I'm on the cell if you guys need me."

Gemma gave him a tender smile and made her way to the bar.

"Hey Ma." Jax greeted when he spotted her.

"Hey baby." She replied giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

He took a sip of his beer and noticed her inquisitive eyes trained on him. "What?"

She raised her eyebrow and put a hand on her hip as she usually did when she was going to admonish him. "You might want to keep your paws off the little princess."

He let out a giggle. His mother would never change. "Let me guess, you don't like her."

She pointed a finger at him. "Don't be a smartass."

"Jesus Christ Mum, we were just talking."

"Well make sure you keep it at that." she retorted with force. "I'm not playing with your ass Jackson. If this was anyone else, I'd be happy to shut my mouth and let you get on with it, but unless you want Kozik to rip you a new one, I'd find myself another rebound."

"Kozik? You're not serious."

"As a heart attack, baby."

Jax had not seen that one coming. Ella was definitely not the type Kozik usually went for. Kozik had always liked his women easy and the less they talked, the better. He wasn't a bad guy; he just wasn't really interested in the whole relationship thing.

"Holy shit."

"My thoughts exactly, so do your mother a favor and keep away. I'm going home to feed the birds. Keep an eye out, will ya Prospect?"

She gave him another kiss and walked out.

* * *

><p>Ella was lying on the bed in Jax's dorm room, staring at the ceiling. She had stayed on the roof for a while but the quiet chill of the night had finally chased her downstairs. She kept thinking about her mother, about what she would think about all this. Her argument with Pete, being shipped off to Charming, Kozik. She had always been really close to Nell, never needing to hide anything from her. She didn't share everything but she'd never felt like she <em>couldn't.<em> She was somewhat disappointed that her mother hadn't shared the same belief, but now that she had time to digest it, she regretted her reaction with Pete. He was one of the few people in the world she trusted which was why she'd been so hurt that he'd lie to her and since her mother wasn't there anymore, he was the only she could blame. But the vice president had always been there for her and she loved him and she felt slightly guilty for lashing out at him.

Ella wondered if she would have told her mum about Kozik and more importantly she wondered what her mother would have said about it. Probably that Ella was making a huge mistake. She would surely be as disappointed as her daughter had been when she'd learned the real nature of her relationship with Pete. After all, Ella's dislike for the club was only matched by her mother's.

Ella wished she had some clarity on what she was supposed to do, but she just felt conflicted. She should be mourning her mother, and planning her future but instead she couldn't stop thinking about Kozik and how much she wanted, needed to know he was okay. That left her unsettled. She'd learned early on to count only on herself and she had always been good at it. She'd put all her effort and energy into finding a way out of Tacoma and everything it represented. It had been her only focus for years. Through a cruel irony, she had declined her scholarship to college merely a few weeks before her mother's passing and now that she had an agreement with her dad, an agreement she somehow knew he would keep, she found herself without a plan. But the fact was that it wasn't the most frightening thing in her life right now. She knew she was getting attached to a man she shouldn't get attached to and the fact that she wasn't fighting it was what confused her the most. It also scared the shit out of her.

And then there was Ray. The man she had found so easy to hate for years. The man she had blamed for everything wrong in their lives. He had agreed to let her go and she didn't know what to make of it. They'd never been close and Ray had never shown more than a mild interest for her. But she was still surprised he had agreed to just let her go without fighting her decision. Was he just trying to make up for past mistakes? Was he trying to get rid of her now that Nell was gone? Did he even care? Did she? Life was so much simpler when everything was black and white in Ella's mind but somehow in the last few days, she had started to see shades of grey in her life and in everything she though she knew. She suddenly wished she wasn't so alone. She wanted someone to trust, someone she could talk to. Someone who wouldn't judge her, or try to influence her or try to tell her what to do.

She took out her prepay and looked through her contact list before dialing a number. "Hey, it's Ella."

* * *

><p>The Tacoma Vice President felt several pair of eyes turn to him and he just shook his head negatively before standing up from the stool he was sitting on and leaving the room. He headed to the parking lot. They had been nervously waiting for Romero to call with the info on Ortega and considering how they'd left things, his god daughter was the last person Pete expected to call "Hi." he replied cautiously. "Everything okay?"<p>

"Yes, I just… I wanted to hear a familiar voice."

He closed his eyes, relishing the sound of her voice. He loved that kid as if she was his own. Having her mad at him, disappointed in him had hurt him more than he'd thought possible. "I'm glad you called, kiddo."

She seemed to hesitate a second before asking. "Are Kozik and the other guy back at the clubhouse?"

"Yeah. They got in a few hours ago."

She paused again, and he was afraid she might have hung up. He wanted to keep her talking, just to hear her voice."Elle?"

"Yeah?"

"Things are happening here. Hopefully, you'll be safe soon."

"Will you?"

She sounded scared. Her voice was weak and he didn't like it. It wasn't like her. "You don't have to worry about me."

"Alright, but don't be an idiot and try to be a hero or anything."

He had heard the smile in her voice and it warmed her heart. "It's a deal. I'm sorry Ella. For all of it."

"I know." She took a breath before continuing. "There are thing I want to tell you, Pete. When I get back."

H knew it was Ella's way to let him know that if he wasn't forgiven yet, she still needed him and there was hope she would one day. "It's a date. Kiddo."

"Goodnight, Pete."

"Good night Ella."

He hung up, a smile trailing on his lips. He had been really scared he had lost her when she found the letter but maybe, just maybe, he would be able to fix his relationship with her. He saw the door to the range open and Kozik appeared, pulling out a smoke from his pocket.

He lit up and jerked his head to Pete. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. That was Ella." Pete replied pocketing his phone.

"Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nah, she's fine. Think she's just homesick. She asked about you and Tig. Wanted to make sure you got here safe."

Kozik averted his eyes and gazed to the floor. "Okay."

They stood for a moment until Pete finally broke the silence. "So you're going to tell me what's going on with you and her or you're waiting for me to beat it out of you?"

A simple look at Kozik's face told him his suspicions had been correct. He had been onto them for a while now. He had heard their conversation at his house. He knew Ella had played him for a fool when they accidentally met, not telling him who she was. He could definitely believe that from his god daughter. He hadn't thought more of it after that since Kozik knew she was Ray's daughter and only an idiot would chase her after that. But then he'd seen the way she'd clung to him when Kozik had rescued her from Ortega, he'd seen the worry in her eyes when they'd lead her to her room while Kozik got patched up. He had then realised that it wasn't a one way thing from Kozik but that Ella felt something for the new recruit. That had been the most surprising thing to him. Considering Ella's relationship with the club, the last thing he expected was her getting close to a member.

"Look, it's not what you think…"

Pete held up a hand to stop Kozik."Never mind what I think, brother, I ain't blind and I ain't deaf either. Neither is Ray. I've known Ella her entire life. There isn't much she can hide from me. I've seen the way she looks at you, reacts to you, _asks _about you. If I noticed, I'm guessing Ray is going to catch up real soon if he hasn't already. "

Kozik ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. It was time to man up and be honest. "I care about her, Pete."

"I know. Considering whose daughter she is, only a fool would go after her if he didn't give a shit. You don't look to me like a fool although that's still up for debate." He paused and sighted trying to find the words to say what he wanted to say."Here's the thing Kozik. Forget about Ray. Her whole life, Ella's wanted out of club life. Only reason she didn't take off after graduating, was because of her mother. With Nell dying and all the shit happening right now, I'm not quite sure where her head is at. Like her mother, she's a survivor. She's strong, she's smart, she's beautiful. I have no doubt she'll come out the other side but when she does, I don't know where this thing with you two lands. What I do know, is that she'll never settle for life as an old lady. So you have to ask yourself, how far you're prepared to go for her. You're a new transfer, but you're already made a great impression on the boys _and_ on Ray. You have a real future here. Whatever you do, you better be prepared to deal with the consequences."

Pete kept his inquisitive eyes on Kozik until he nodded to let the VP know he understood. "Does that mean you're not telling Ray?"

Pete and Ray had enough problems to deal with, he wasn't going to add to it by being the bearer of that news. But "It ain't my shit to deal with. So no, I'm not going to tell Ray." The other reason Pete wouldn't be telling Ray was that he actually liked Kozik. Ella could have done much worse than pick him so he was willing to let them figure out their shit on their own. But he didn't want to tell Kozik that. But there was something else he wanted to say though. "You hurt her in any way, though, I'm coming after you brother."

Kozik held his VP's stare before nodding just as the door to the range opened again and Chance came out followed by the other men.

"Romero called. We're on."

* * *

><p>Ella walked into the clubhouse and was surprised to see how many people were there despite the absence of any club member. Mostly crow eaters and hang arounds. The man they had called Piney was fast asleep on the couch. Jax was presently "teaching" some plastic blond to play pool.<p>

After her phone call with Pete, she had decided it was probably best to come out and socialize rather than spend hours rehashing the same questions over and over until it drove her crazy. Besides, she liked Jax, he was good company.

She perched herself on a stool and observed Jax and the sweet butt with a smug face. Jax looked up and finally realised her presence. he flashed her a knowing smile, and laughed when she rolled her eyes. Apparently that was the reaction he had been looking for. He excused himself with the blond who shot Ella a murderous look and strolled to her.

"Beer?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

He took two beers out and opened them in one smooth move. She took the one he was offering her. "Is it always that easy or do they make you work for it sometimes?"

He grinned. "What can I say? They're all trying to mend my heart."

"Someone should tip them off about your heart."

He sniggered. "And she doesn't even know me yet."

"Oh, I know you." She declaimed in a tone she knew was pompous." You're SAMCRO's little prince. You're the man they all want to bed and marry. Something about the gun, the tattoos, the bike and the leather they just can't resist."

"Looks like you got me all figured out, uh?" he challenged.

"Hon, you're not that hard to figure out."

"Did you give Koz' the same speech too?"

He saw Ella lose all composure with a satifisfied smile. "Got ya." he laughed.

She kinked a eyebrow. "Your mother's got a big mouth."

"She's also got a big heart. Always feels like she's got to look out for everyone. But seriously, Kozik and you, how did that happen?"

"I don't know, it's almost midnight and you're still wearing your clothes how did _that _happen?" she shot back with a knowing smile.

"Night is still young, darling."

She shook her head in annoyance and looked down at her beer. She took a few sips in silence before asking "So your mother, is she looking out for me or for Kozik?"

"Honestly? Probably both.

Ella shot him an incredulous look. "I have a heard time believing that. She doesn't even know me."

"She knows Kozik. Look, I know it just looks like she's just butting in into your business."

"Look like?" she mocked

"You know what I mean. She's flawed and sometimes she rubs people the wrong way, but it comes from a good place. She's just protective of her family. That's what the club is about for her. Family. And Kozik, he was a part of the and she's still considers him a part of the family. You and him, it's a big deal."

"Because of my father."

"Well, there's that. Wouldn't want to be Kozik when Ray finds out. But mostly because he's never really been into the whole relationship thing. Used to give me the hardest time about Tara. Telling me it wasn't worth the trouble and that I should concentrate on the club.

There went her theory that he'd left Charming because of a woman. "Why are you telling me this? Don't think he'd be really happy to hear you tell me all his secrets."

"I'm telling you because you have a big chip on your shoulder about this club. That's pretty obvious to everyone. But this club is everything to Kozik. So this thing with you two it's got to be pretty important for him to risk his place in the club. Gemma? She just wants to make sure you understand that."

"I do."

"Alright, now you _have_ to tell me how he pulled it off."

She couldn't help but laugh at his attempt to lighten the mood.

* * *

><p>They stood in front of an abandoned factory on the docks. The Charming crew had agreed to cover the backdoor whilst Tacoma headed inside. According to the Intel, they'd been given Juan Ortega and Andres Villarosa were both inside with about 7 other men from a local street gang who had offered their protection in exchange of a generous fee. They knew the gang bangers would react and although they weren't sure of how much firepower they had, Ray was pretty confident that his guys would be able to handle them. The plan was for Happy, Kozik and Wizard to move from the left and Chance, Tease and Stone from the right. Pete and Ray would come from the front door. Chance had argued that he should be with Ray to protect him but Ray quickly put an end to his objections. Ortega was to be captured alive. Ray wanted him to suffer the consequences of his attack on Ella from his hand.<p>

Ray signaled to the others to go and they opened the door. He spotted the watcher straight away. He almost knew where he would find him. He didn't even address him, instead he just shot. A second later, shots were being fired elsewhere in the factory letting them know the assault had been given.

They made their way to the man who was still alive on the floor and Pete shot him again in the face. Before he could turn around, he heard the sound of a gun being cocked behind him and closed his eyes. He should have been angry but he wasn't. He should have been scared but he wasn't. He just felt weary and tired. He had known it was coming. For the last eleven years, he had known this day would come, it was just a matter of when and how. "You're going to shoot me in the back Ray?"

"No. Contrary to you, I like to look at a guy in the eye."

Pete turned around and faced his friend of thirty years. "Why now?

Ray's eyes watered and for an instant his eyes only reflected the sadness he felt. "She would have known it was me."

Pete seemed to realise something and he tilted his head to the side. "It wasn't Nell who left the letter in the jewelry box, was it? She wouldn't be so careless. Not around you. It was you. So Ella would find it."

"She needed to know."

"Bullshit. She didn't have to know. You just used her to hurt me. At least be honest about that. You wanted her to hate me. What are you going to tell her now?

"I'm going to tell her you died to protect her. That way she remembers you as the godfather who saved her life as opposed to the son of a bitch who fucked her mother."

"I loved her Ray."

"So did I brother." Ray replied before pulling the trigger shooting Pete straight in the heart. A second later, his best friend was on the floor, his eyes still open. Ray kneeled down and ran his hand over them to close them as he heard voices coming their way.

* * *

><p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!<p>

_DarkChild19, I wasn't able to answer your questions in a PM, but basically the reason Happy was listed as a Character on the front page was that when I started this story there was originally a Happy Arc in it. I then decided to do the Happy story separately but didn't correct this in the front page. It is now done. On your other questions, I hope the next few chapters will answer most of those and I hope you continue to trust me and this story!_


	18. Go your own way

_Thanks ever so much for the reviews/follows/ favorites. This story has gone over 100 followers and I'm ever so grateful that you guys are sticking with me and this story!_

_I re-wrote this chapter about seven times in the last month so I apologise for the delay. Truth is every time I plan for something, I get carried away by the characters and end up in a totally different direction. So I'm warning everyone, although I know where I'm going, I have no idea how I'm going to get there! But I'm enjoying the ride and I hope you are to._

**Chapter XVIII**

**Go your own way**

Ella was nervous. Ridiculously nervous. They had been gone for three whole days and even though she had tried to take things in stride and make herself useful, even offering to help Gemma in the office, she was getting impatient. She had started spending a lot of time with Jax as he worked in the garage and she had to admit she had enjoyed his company the last few days. He had told her a lot of stories about John Teller, his ideas, his aspirations for the club. Ella wasn't sure how that reconciled with the club as she knew it but it was nice that he had shared this with her. She'd also gotten to know Opie and his fiancée Donna. She'd spent so much time caring for her mother in the last year that she had almost forgotten how it felt to hang out with people her age. She did feel guilty that they were men risking their lives out there so that she would be safe, but if she had to be cooped up somewhere she was somehow glad it was in Charming. But it was all finally coming to an end. Jax had told her the night before that the men were making their way down and would hit Charming by nightfall.

He had finally stopped teasing her about Kozik, after she inflicted a serious butt whipping on him at the pool table but that didn't mean she had stopped thinking about the blond biker. She hadn't spoken to him since they'd left Oregon. Not that she hadn't wanted to. Several times, she had had to stop herself from calling him. But she knew they were dealing with a lot up there and she hadn't wanted to bother him. She'd missed him though. In a ridiculous, falling asleep thinking about him kind of way. She finally knew what she wanted. She wanted him. She didn't know how that worked with the club and her plans to leave Tacoma but she wanted Kozik.

She was sitting in the garage, pretending to read her book while Jax worked on a car. She didn't like hanging out in the clubhouse on her own, the deference the sweet butts and hangarounds showed towards her making her very uncomfortable mostly because she had never done anything to deserve it. So she'd taken the habit of hanging out with the young prospect here. Sometimes they talked, most of the time he just worked as she read. Or at least tried to because she was very aware that she had been reading the same page for the last hour as she kept interrupting her reading to look up at the compound entrance every few minutes.

"You know, you staring down the gates, it ain't going to make them ride in any quicker."

She looked down at Jax who was cleaning up grease from his hands a mocking grin on his face.

"You really got it bad, darlin'."

"Shut up." She scolded as she tried to suppress a smile.

He chortled as he opened a bottle of water and took a long sip right before they heard a familiar sound. He wriggled his eyebrows at her. "Guess I spoke too fast, uh."

She stood up in anticipation, her heart suddenly racing as she watched the bikes roll into the parking lot one by one. But as they did, her smile started to falter, her joy overshadowed by the sudden realization that someone was missing. Someone that should have been there, riding just after her father. But instead of Pete, she spotted Chance tailing her father and she knew without the shadow of a doubt that something had happened to Pete.

She glanced at Jax and realised he had come to same conclusion as he approached her, placing a supporting hand on her back. Her mouth went very dry as she tried to vioce her worries.

"Pete isn't with them." She simply stated.

She swallowed hard as they watched the men dismount, looking somber. Ella seeked her father as he scanned the lot certainly looking for her. He met her eye but didn't let on anything which knowing him wasn't surprising. he wasn't the kind of man to wear his heart on his sleeve. She continued to flick her eyes over the other members who were carefully avoiding her stare which only served to reinforce her fears for her godfather. When her eyes finally found Kozik, he held her gaze for a quick instant and right then she knew what had happened. She suddenly sensed a presence on her left side and turned to see Gemma looking at her with motherly concern.

"Come on, sweetheart."

The three of them made their way towards the men, Jax and Gemma flanking Ella on each side in case her legs betrayed. As they reached Ray, Gemma separated from them, patting Ray on the back on her way to Clay. Ella watched as the woman held onto her man for dear life. The Charming president pulled away and looked up at Jax.

"Prospect, get inside. Now."

Jax glanced at Ella and nodded his encouragement before doing as told. She watched nervously as all the men and Gemma made their way into the clubhouse leaving her alone with her father. Their eyes met and for a long moment, they didn't speak. She didn't need him to say the words, she knew them. But she did want to know how her godfather had died. So she just asked, voice trembling "What happened?"

Ray ran his hand on his face. "He was caught in cross fire. He took a bullet to the heart."

Her hands flew to her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Or retching. Probably both.

"He...he really loved you Ella."

She bit the inside of her mouth willing her tears away and nodded. "Where is he now?"

"Used club connections to have the ME rule it an accident but we had to cremate him. Avoid questions"

She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath to control the nauseous feeling that took over her.

"We'll have a memorial in a couple of weeks."

She didn't really know what she was supposed to say so she just nodded. "Okay."

He took a step towards her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "You're safe now. He made sure of that."

As hard as she tried she wasn't able to contain her tears and she decided to let them come. She felt her father arm pull her towards him as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She could tell he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing as she sensed his hesitation. She couldn't remember the last time she had hugged her father. She didn't think she'd ever wanted to but as she quietly wept for Pete, she wrapped her arms around the only family she had left.

* * *

><p>Kozik put down the shot glass, letting the tequila burn its way down his throat. The mood inside the clubhouse was dark. His own mood was even worse. All he wanted was to get hammered and forget about the last few days. But after being on the road for the last twelve hours, he needed to wash away the day before he could drink himself into a stupor. He turned around and spotted Gemma in the kitchen, probably putting some food together for them. He walked over to her.<p>

"Hey Gem."

She spun on her stilettos to face him. "Hey baby." She whispered as she walked to him hooking her arms around his shoulder to pull him in a hug. "I'm glad you're in one piece."

"Thanks."

She pulled away and inspected his face. He knew her enough to know she was trying to get a read on him so he looked away avoiding her questioning eyes.

"Did you need anything sweetheart?"

"A shower. I was hoping I could use one of the dorms."

"Sure. Ella's taken Jax's but you can use any of the others. Let me get you some towels."

She escorted him to the dorm facing Jax's, letting herself in and opened the dresser taking out a clean towel before turning back to him. "Here."

"Thanks Gem."

She walked to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're okay sweetheart?". The look on his face must have been telling because she pointed to the bed. "Alright, sit down."

He knew better than to try and argue with her and sat at the edge of the bed.

"This about the prissy princess? Don't look at me like that, you two aren't exactly being subtle."

"I've been trying to figure out a way to get right with my club, right with my pres and right with her. I just… I don't know how to do it."

"This new patch on your cut? It's a lot of responsibilities. It's you between your pres and the bullet that's coming for him. It's being a man's right arm and putting that man first, day in, day out. Not a lot of people who can handle that. Now I see what you see in her, I really do. You and her it makes a lot of sense. She's beautiful, strong, she's got sass, she might not like it but she knows the life, she was born into it. She's exactly the kind of woman you need. But this isn't the kind of woman you just do casual with, we both know that. You got to be willing to go all in. The one thing you need to ask yourself is can you be the guy this patch needs you to be and be the man she wants. And I think you already know the answer to that."

She squeezed his arm and left quietly leaving home alone with thoughts. He took out his cut and his fingers grazed the newly sewn in patch.

* * *

><p><em>The acrid smell of blood was everywhere. In the air, on their clothes, on every pore of their body. Capturing Juan Ortega alive had been the objective and it had been successful. They'd brought him to an abandoned barn on Ray's land. Most of the men had gone home whilst Happy and Ray took turns prolonging Ortega's suffering. Chance was standing by chain smoking with a sick smile on his face. He seemed to be getting off on the show.<em>

_Kozik wasn't sure how a man could withstand such a level of pain and still be alive, let alone conscious. But every time, Ortega slid to the verge of unconsciousness, Happy shot him with enough adrenaline to get a horse going. Kozik had never been a fan of torture preferring more direct methods to exact retaliation but this was the man who'd planned the ambush that nearly got them killed, he was the man responsible for the prospect, the Arsonist and Precious Pete's deaths. It was the man who shot him. But more than this, he was the son of a bitch who'd tried to kill Ella, running her off the road and hunting her down like an animal and in Kozik's mind that justified everything the man got. That was probably the scariest part of it all. The fact that he didn't think there was anything wrong with what was unfolding before his eyes. _

_Kozik barely winced when Happy ran his knife through an already open wound and as Kozik heard yet another inhuman sound coming from the sad shape that used to be a man, Kozik saw Ray make his way towards him. _

"_You didn't have to stay for this."_

"_Yes, I did."_

_Ray buried his hand in his pocket and held his hand out to Kozik._

_Kozik watched as Ray opened his palm to reveal the Sergeant At Arms patch. Frowning, Kozik's eyes flicked to meet his president's stare on him. "What's that?"_

"_Chance is taking VP, I want you on my right side, Kozik."_

"_I don't know what to say." He really didn't. He had barely been in the Tacoma Charter for a couple of months and being promoted to an officer role, the SAA seat no less, was the last thing he'd expected. The fact that it was happening on the back of the death of a man he had considered a mentor and a friend left him with a bittersweet taste in his mouth._

"_Then don't say anything. Just take the seat"_

_Kozik tore his eyes away from the patch in his President's hand and looked back at the man. "Thanks Ray." He finally voiced as he took the piece of fabric from Ray's hand._

_Ray nodded. "Kill's yours SAA."_

* * *

><p>If someone had asked her, Ella wouldn't have been able to say how long she'd stayed in her father's hold on the parking lot. All she knew is that at some point, darkness had crept up on them and sweet butts and hangarounds had started to invade the lot, making their way into the clubhouse to welcome back the boys.<p>

Ella took a step back meeting her father's eyes. They both looked worn out and Ella had to admit she was surprised that he hadn't let go of her. He had let her cry all she could, not saying a word, not trying to comfort her, just holding her close. She tried a weak smile and was startled when he'd reached out to her face and caressed her cheek, rubbing away the trail of tears. "We should get inside."

She nodded and they walked side by side to the clubhouse which during their absence had suddenly come alive with music blasting through the speakers and alcohol flowing. They had barely made it into the main room that Jax was offering both her and Ray a shot as Clay Morrow raised his glass towards her father.

"To Precious Pete. May he rest in peace."

The men raised their glasses as Ray nodded solemnly. "To Pete."

Ella swallowed her shot, suppressing a cough as the liquor coursed through her body. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to think or feel. She was too numb at this point; her head was still trying to process too many information to be able to think straight. She sat on a stool at the bar and tried to ignore the concerned looks she felt on her. It was as if everyone was just waiting for her to lose it. Well everyone except for the one person she really wanted to see but as she perused the clubhouse he was nowhere to be found. Several times, she had to fight the urge to just run out of there as people patted her on the back in misplaced solicitude. Jax spotted her and bent over the bar so their conversation couldn't be heard.

"You okay?"

She threw him a look that told him okay was a long way from what she was at that instant.

"Anything I can do?"

"No, thanks. I…I have a headache. I should just go lie down."

Jax opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Tig "Hey prospect, stop flirting with the princess and keep them coming."

Jax looked at her apologetic. "I'll talk to you later."

Ella was about to step off her stool when Tig got closer to her blocking her exit. He locked eyes with her, his ice blue eyes starring daggers at her. "Think you got your bikers all mixed up, doll." he said his voice barely above a whisper.

Ella glared at him before stepping off from the other side. The whole interaction has only lasted seconds but it left her feeling dirty. But unwilling to let Tig get the upper hand on her, she pretended to shrug it off and holding her head up high, she made her way down the corridor to head back to the dorm.

As she approached, she noticed the dorm facing Jax's was open and saw Kozik seating on the bed. He looked…well he looked tired. Exhausted even. And sad. There was something different about him, something in his face, in his body as if he suddenly had a heavy weight on his shoulders. He hadn't even heard her coming in. She wasn't sure how long he had been there but after checking that no one was around, she knocked on the door lightly making her presence known.

"Hey."

He looked up and straightened up straight away "Hi."

"Are you okay?" she enquired as she took a few steps inside the dorm.

He stood up and walked to the dresser turning his back on her. "I should be asking you that."

She wasn't sure what it was but something didn't seem right. It was as if he was asking but didn't really care about the answer. She shook it off smiling weakly. "I've been better."

"I'm sorry about Pete, Ella. Really am."

"I know. I'm glad _you_'re okay."

She took another step towards him and she swore she saw him flinch. He rummaged through his pocket taking out a smoke and lit it nervously. She searched his face for an explanation but it was completely closed to her. Remembering Gemma's advice in Rogue River, Ella checked the corridor before closing the door behind her keeping the world out of this conversation. "Kozik, is something wrong?"

He exhaled loudly not meeting her stare. "I saw you with Jax earlier. You two seem to get along."

She was taken aback by the left field comment and threw him a funny look. "He's a nice guy, but that's all." As her altercation with Tig came back to mind she continued incredulous. "You're not…you're not jealous are you?"

"I don't do jealous sweetheart."

"Well good. Because I'm not interested in Jax, Kozik."

"Maybe you should be." For the first time since she'd walked into the dorm, he locked eyes with her and Ella felt like someone had just slapped her. His look was one of indifference, his voice had sounded so detached, so cold, like he didn't really give a damn whether she was or not. "Excuse me?"

He buried his hands in his pocket and shrugged "I mean you two, it makes sense. You're the same age. He's the son of a president. He's going to be president of this club one day.

"Stop! Just...stop!" She said forcefully. She walked to him trying to meet his eyes. "What are you doing Kozik? Where is this coming from? I thought..."

He moved away from her. "What did you think Ella? That I'd be your boyfriend and we'd ride off into the sunset. Is that what you thought?

Every word that was coming out of his mouth was stabbing through her like a goddamn knife. "Don't fucking patronize me and don't talk to me like I am some child who doesn't know anything about life!"

He grabbed her arm with force and got in her face to keep his voice down. "You are a kid. You're a fucking kid. You're nineteen, Ella. I'm pushing on 30. We just don't fit."

He let go of her arm as if it was radioactive and she scoffed. "First you push me on Jax, now you bring up my age? It sounds to me like you're looking for excuses."

"I'm not. I got blindsided for a minute, it was a mistake. I… care about you Ella. But I got responsibilities to my club, to my president."

"When you left, things were heading somewhere whether you want to admit it or not. What happened Kozik?"

"Nothing happened. Just realised it wasn't worth it."

This hurt her more than she wanted to admit. He had spat those words as if they didn't mean anything to him, as if she didn't mean anything to her. She sniggered self derisively. "Spoken like a true Son." Fighting back tears she walked to the door, opening it and turned back to him forcing a smile. "And to think I didn't even have to sleep with you before you passed me over like some sweet butt. Congratulations on your promotion Kozik, you're going to make a great SAA Kozik."

She left without another word. She simply didn't know what else to say.

_Well, I hope you enjoyed this. I know Kozik is being an ass at the moment but he really is conflicted! Before any of you ask if Ella can't catch a break, she will I promise, just bear with me!_

_To apologise for the long wait and because I almost finished it I will be posting the next chapter either later today or tomorrow. As always, please do let me know what you think it does really inspire and help me in equal measures!_


	19. Middle of the mess

_Thanks for reading, following and reviewing, it means the world!_

**CHAPTER XIX**

**Middle of the mess**

"Please tell me this is the last of it?" Gillian grunted as she dropped the box she was holding to the floor. "I can't believe you've got so much shit. Maybe we should have gone for a three bedroom." She concluded before letting herself slide on the couch.

They were standing in the living room of their brand new two bedroom apartment in an up and coming part of Seattle. The place had clearly seen better days, the kitchen was probably at least fifteen years old, both bathrooms had leaks and they lived two floors above The Playground, one of Seattle busiest bars which, most nights, meant random drunks hanging around their doorway. But as soon as they had seen it, they had barely hesitated. The whole place needed sprucing up, but it one of the only place they could afford in a nice part of the city so in the end they had agreed to the extortion the landlord called rent and started packing.

Ella rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I've got a couple of things left at the ranch. Ray is taking them to the clubhouse. I'll pick them up tomorrow night."

Gillian shifted on the couch putting her feet under her ass. "I'm sorry I can't make it to Pete's memorial tomorrow. Saturday night is a big night at the parlor and I just started…"

It had been more than a month since Pete's death but the club had been busy and they hadn't managed to organize his memorial until now. They didn't want something half-arsed so Ray had decided to push it out. Dorothy and Marie had been put in charge and Ella knew it would be a big gathering. Hopefully big enough so she would be able to avoid a certain biker.

"I already told you, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Besides Jax is coming up with his club this time so he'll keep me company."

"Oh, yes Jackson Teller, the little prince of SAMCRO." she teased. "Look at you surrounded by hot blond bikers! Speaking of the which, have you heard from loverboy lately?"

"No. Not since Charming. Not that I expected to anyway. He's made himself pretty clear on where he stood." She walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to take out two beers. "It's all for the best anyway. Nevermind, that he is a Son, I'm here now, and he is in Tacoma." She added handing Gillian a bottle as she opened hers.

"Yeah a whole thirty seven minutes away." Her friend mocked as she took a big swig from the cold drink before she continued. "That's how long it takes from here to the range. I googled it. "

"You got way too much time on your hands." She scolded playfully.

Gillian giggled softly. "I know."

Ella took a seat in the armrest of the couch sipping her beer in silence. As she played with the label of the bottle, she sighed. "If it was supposed to happen, don't you think it would probably have happened by now? I mean, it shouldn't be this hard, Gillian."

"You're still thinking like this is some guy you met in a bar. He is an MC member, Elles. A Son of Anarchy. I'd be worried if things _weren't _complicated."

"I have done everything but throw myself at him naked and he just shoved me away like some sweet butt he was done toying with. I am_ done_ humiliating myself."

Gillian laughed and Ella felt herself getting annoyed. Her friend always knew just how to push her buttons. Ella loved her to bits but she really had no boundaries.

"This isn't funny!"

"No, you're right, it's not. You're so into this guy, it's not even funny."

"I'm not… it doesn't matter what I am. With everything, I just… it would just have been the worst idea, really. It's time to move on."

Refusing to let herself be dragged further into this conversation, she stood up and headed to her bedroom. Today was a new beginning. It was time to move forward. No looking back. She'd done enough of that lately. She kneeled to the floor and started to remove the tape from one of the dozens of boxes waiting for her on the floor when she heard Gillian come up behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"It's called unpacking, Gill. Maybe you should try it." Gillian had been in the apartment for almost three weeks but her boxes were still mostly untouched.

Gillian practically leapt into the room "Oh, hell, no! This is your first night here and we happen to live above one of the hottest bars in Seattle there is no way we're unpacking tonight. Tonight my friend, you and I are going out." She ordered as she pulled Ella back to her feet.

"Gill', I don't really feel like going out."

"Do you remember us in school? How many times we talked about this? Getting a place together? All the bad shit we were going to get into? And now we're actually doing it."

"I know, I just…"

"Blah, blah, blah, that's all I'm hearing right now. Tonight you and I are going out. No questions. Get your moving on plan in motion. Now get ready, we're leaving in 10. Chop Chop!"

* * *

><p>Kozik rolled onto his back with a sigh as he tried to catch his breath. Joan rolled to her side, letting her fingers linger on his chest, absent mindedly tracing his tattoos. "We're getting really good at this, you know."<p>

He grinned at her as he reached over to his bedside table to grab a smoke. He had been seeing her quite a lot in the last few weeks. After his conversation with Ella in Charming, he had done whatever he could to stop thinking about the petite brunette, doing it the only way he knew how. He had buried himself in pussy. But there was only so much sweet butt he could take. So he'd dropped by Joan's agency one night and he had ended up in her bed. He liked Joan. He wasn't sure what a woman like her was doing sleeping her way through a biker's club but contrary to the sweet butts that haunted the clubhouse she could hold a fuckin' conversation and best of all she didn't have any expectations. Not to mention that for a woman in her mid- forties, she had a killer body to boot. She had been a very welcome distraction after what went down between him and Ella.

Still naked, she sat up, resting on her heels, giving Kozik a delighting view of her rack. "You okay sweetheart?" she asked with a sly smile

"You know me Joan. I'm always good."

She bent over kissing his muscular tattooed chest, slowly making her way up and taking the cigarette from his mouth. After stealing a drag, she returned it to his lips.

"I should get going. Got an early one tomorrow."

He exhaled loudly. "You don't have to go. You can stay the night if you want."

She titled her head, her eyes searching his face as if looking for answers. He saw a slow smile creep up on her face and she cupped his face with her hand. "You're sweet, Kozik. But I'm not looking for an old man. And I'm too old to be anyone's warm body."

He opened his mouth to protest but she put her manicured finger on his lips to silence him. "When I spend the night, I like it better when the guy next to me doesn't wish I was somebody else."

He blinked apologetic. "I'm sorry."

She didn't let him finish and bend over replacing her finger with her lips as she planted a soft kiss on him softly before pulling away. "Don't apologise. I was young and in love too once."

He sat up, crushing his cigarette in the ashtray near him. He wasn't sure why but he wanted to know more. "What happened?"

"I married him." She responded with a grin that somehow made her look sad.

"You've been married?" he mouthed unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Surprised?"

"Well, yeah. Didn't think you were the settling down type."

She threw her hair back. "He… he died about two years after we got married. Car accident. It took me a long time to make peace with that. When I married him, I never thought I'd ever have to live life without him. And when he died, well I guess, I got lost for a while. Somedays, I think I'm still trying to find my way back.

Kozik thought about it for a moment, trying to reconcile this history with the fun loving and carefree woman he had thought Joan was. "You ever regret it? Marrying him."

"Not even for one minute." She voiced with conviction. "When you meet the one person that makes your world turn, you never look back. But I guess that's just the romantic in me. "she concluded with a smile. "I should go. I'll see you at Pete's memorial tomorrow."

"You're coming?"

"Pete was a good man. I want to pay my respects." She smiled one last time before getting out of the bed and putting her clothes on. As she slid into her shoes, she glanced back at him. "Goodnight Kozik."

* * *

><p>Kozik was impressed by the turn out at Pete's memorial. The club was here in its entirety, old ladies and kids included. Other charters had made the trip to Washington including the Charming crew. But what impressed him more was the number of civilians who kept dropping by to pay their respects. They had even seen a few local cops show up earlier. Kozik wasn't really surprised; he knew that Pete had been loved. The man had no family of his own, but he had marked people's lives in and outside the club.<p>

Kozik's mind went back to his last conversation with Pete. _Hurt her in any way, though, I'm coming after you brother. _He had made a silent promise to him then that he wouldn't and yet he knew he'd done just that, in Charming. But hurting her had been necessary, even though it had left him feeling like an asshole for days afterwards.

He'd gotten hammered that night but it hadn't been enough to dull down the anger he felt. Since the day he'd walked into Teller Morrow auto shop newly sober with Tig seven years ago, he had done everything that was expected of him, no questions asked. He had never wanted nor needed to question the club. He had done what needed to be done every time. He found it cruelly ironic that it was both the club that brought Ella into his life and the club that took her away.

Gemma had been right though; her words kept ringing into his ears long after she'd left the dorm. He couldn't be the kind of man Ella deserved and be the Sons of Anarchy Tacoma Sergeant At Arms. It just didn't work.

Kozik knew Ella would be here today; she wouldn't miss Pete's memorial regardless of her feelings for the club or for him for that matter. That's why he found himself searching the crowd instinctively looking for her and kicking himself for it. He really had to stop this shit but it was clearly easier said than done.

He hadn't seen her since they'd left Charming a little over a month ago. She hadn't been by the range; he wasn't sure if that was to avoid him or the club altogether. He had heard through Ray that she had found a job in some bar and was moving to Seattle with her crazy tattooist friend. It was probably for the best. A good opportunity for her to move on with her life, away from all the shit they seem to bring with them. It would be good for him too. Nothing worse than something you want but can't have hitting you in the face on a daily basis.

* * *

><p>Ella parked her car on the range's lot but her hands remained gripped on the steering wheel as she tried to steady them. The last time she had been there was the day she'd almost been killed by Ortega. If it hadn't been for Kozik following her then, she'd most probably be dead. It was hard to believe so many things had changed since that day. He was barely more than a stranger that kept finding his way into her life then. Now he was…so much more than that.<p>

Despite her protests, her conversation with Gillian had made her think. In fact, she'd pretty much spent the whole night thinking about him, unable to find any rest. Her friend was right, she was clearly still very much into him. But there was nothing she could do about that. He knew where she stood. Next move was his.

The newly promoted SAA wasn't the only reason she found it so difficult to get out of her car. Pete had always been a permanent fixture in the range ever since she was a little girl. She'd never spent much time there, but when she did, it had usually been with him. Now, she had to walk tall and go pay her respects to the man and although it had been a month since his death, she wasn't sure she could. She knew he had to try though. For Pete. She finally turned off the ignition and walked out of her car, making her way towards the clubhouse.

It was absolutely packed with people she'd never even seen. She looked around trying to locate a familiar face or two when she noticed him. All pride and confidence, captivating his audience with some story. He ran a hand in his blond hair as she approached him from behind. "Hey Teller."

He turned around sporting his signature wolf grin. "Hey Darlin'." he greeted as he pulled her into the obligatory hug.

She returned his smile and nodded towards his cut. "I guess congratulations are in order."

"Two weeks as a patch. You should have seen that patch party. It was insane." He sang out.

A chuckle escaped her. "I bet it was."

"You want a beer?"

"Sure."

"Hey prospect! Get me and the lady a beer." He barked in the direction of a prospect from Rogue River.

"Bet you just love doing that."

"You have no idea, babe." He gloated.

The prospect suddenly materialized by their side, holding out two beers. "Now get lost." Jax ordered as Ella rolled her eyes to the power play she just witnessed. He met her glare with a smile and they sipped their beer in relative silence until he suddenly got serious. "So how are you holding up with all this shit?"

"I'm good. Or at least I'm getting there. Finally moved in. I can't wait to start the new job. It's a sucky job but it'll pay the bills until I figure some shit out, you know."

"I'm glad. Maybe one of these days I can come and visit." he suggested. Feeling observed, he darted his eyes towards the crowd before looking back at her, the devilish smile back in motion. "I think we have an audience. I should probably be careful before he challenges me to a fist fight or something." He chuckled.

Ella shook her head. "Oh, I really doubt that. He seems to think I'm better off with you. The prince and the princess, or some bullshit like that." She snickered. She still couldn't believe Kozik had had the audacity to suggest she hook up with Jax.

The newly patched man nearly chocked on his beer. "You and me? Nah, I'm afraid I prefer my girls low maintenance."

"Meaning easy and influenceable." She simply stated in retort.

"Exactly. No offense."

She raised her hands to stop him. "None taken, trust me."

"You do know he acts like a dick because he cares right? It's a guy thing."

It was her turn to cackle. "You don't think there's anything wrong with that statement? "

"Like I said, it's a guy thing." He shrugged innocently and then the devilish grin crept up his face again. "Hey, you want to give him a run for his money?"

* * *

><p>Kozik clenched his fists as he felt anger brewing simply watching Jax wrap his arm around Ella's back, grinning flirtatiously at her. Even though he had been the one to suggest the pairing, seeing it unfold in front of him was not how he expected this evening to go. He could pretend like he didn't give a shit but he couldn't lie to himself. He also knew of Jax's reputation as a ladies man and a sweet talker and yet he had pushed Ella straight into his arms. She could handle herself as he had experienced first hand but that knowledge did not make him feel any better.<p>

When he'd seen her come in earlier, she'd taken his breath away. She was wearing a dark blue dress which sat on her body as if it had been made for her. The shoulders were covered with black lace which followed down to the neckline, flattering her small chest and matched her high heels. The skirt flowed out right above her knees showing her toned legs. She had let her jet black hair down in waves adorning her olive skinned face. The way she biting her lip and shifting uncomfortably under some of those assholes' stares told him she had no idea how beautiful she looked and that sure as hell wasn't helping his resolve to stay clear of her.

She looked up and met his gaze for a second before he turned away unable to face her. As he did, he spotted Joan walking into the clubhouse. When she saw him, she broke into a wide smile and came to him.

"Hey handsome." She said pulling him into a hug.

He couldn't help but glance back at Ella who hadn't missed a bit and was staring at them with a stony expression.

"I can't believe how many people are here."

Kozik teared his attention away from Ella and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's been like that for the past few hours. Come on, let's get you a drink."

They practically had to fight their way to the bar where they were met by a smiling Bobby Elvis. "Hey Kozik."

"Hey Bobby. This is Joan, a good friend of the club."

"Hi Bobby, it's nice to meet you."

"Pleasure is mine lovely. What can I get you?"

"A bourbon. Dry please."

Bobby flashed her a smile. "Now that's my kind of girl."

* * *

><p>Ella had been there for over two hours and she was antsy to get home. There was nothing about Pete in here. It was just a glorified party where people dressed well and told stories as they got drunk. It wasn't about him. It wasn't the way she wanted to remember him and it wasn't the way she wanted to say goodbye.<p>

Not to mention that she had had to deal with Kozik rubbing that _woman_ in her face all night and she had had just about enough of that. There was no doubt in her mind that they were sleeping together. Ella hated to admit it but the woman was stunning. She was older than him, probably in her late thirties, early forties, with a body that had everything where it mattered and the confidence of a woman of experience. She was dressed in a sophisticated tight fitting dress accessorized with heels Ella knew to be very expensive and made her legs look a mile long. She looked so… normal. She sure as hell was no sweet butt and that angered Ella even more than the prospect of him with another woman. She could just about handle the idea of him sleeping around with the sad women that clung onto this place like chewing gum on a shoe sole, because she knew it was just about sex and nothing else. But the idea that _she_ was the one he spent his nights with hit her like a slap in the face. Yeah, she needed to get home.

She went in search of her father who she had yet to see since she'd arrived. As she reached the chapel doors, she knocked softly. A few seconds later, she she heard his muffled voice inside and let herself in. Ray was sitting on his seat at the far end of the table. He was slowly making his way through a bottle of whiskey, his favorite, whilst smoking what seemed to be his hundredth cigarette of the day. He looked tired. She hadn't seen him in a week and he looked like he'd aged since then. She knew he had taken Pete's death very hard. Despite their differences, she knew they had been friends a long time, and Pete's death merely days after Nell's death was terribly difficult. She just didn't think it would be hard on _him_. She took a few step towards him, throwing an apologetic look at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's okay."

"What are you doing alone in here, dad?"

"Just thinking through some shit." He didn't sound like himself. He looked different, the wariness in his eyes reflecting a certain vulnerability she wasn't used to seeing in her father. "Ella, I...I want you to know, there's a lot of thing I would do differently if I had the chance. Your mum, Pete, the things I did…"

She wasn't sure why but she was tired of dredging up the past. She knew all about her father's ways. She knew all too well the hurt he'd caused. He had made mistakes. But Pete had made mistakes too, hell her mother had made those very same mistakes. Ella was tired of feeling like she was stuck between the choices they all made in the past. She had had enough of being angry all the time. She needed closure. She needed to stop hating him if she wanted move forward. At the end of the day, he was the only family she had left. "Dad, stop…I don't want to talk about the past anymore. I want us to move on."

He met her eyes and cupped her face in his hands. Ella almost jerked her head back. She wasn't used to tenderness from him. She guessed a bottle of Jamieson was as good as anything to soften an old bastard like Ray. But since it was all about moving on, she didn't shy away from his hand. Instead she closed hers on his and they remained still for a long moment.

"I have to get back soon."

"I have your boxes in the storage room. I'll have one of the prospects take them to your car."

"Thank you." She stood up and looked back at him. "Take care dad."

He smiled sadly at her before pouring himself another drink as she exited quietly. She closed the door behind her and exhaled deeply. She knew how to say goodbye to Pete and she could only do that in the range.

* * *

><p>A short few minutes later, Ella was gripping a 9MM that her godfather had given her for her eighteenth birthday and she stored in a locker on the range. She focused on her target and fired. The recoil almost took her by surprise. It had been so long since she'd exercised that she'd almost forgotten about it. She took aim again and fired a whole round before pressing a switch that mechanically slid her target to her. Pete had been an excellent shooter but he had also been an excellent teacher. She was glad to see she didn't lose all of it, she thought as she looked at the target. Three bullets within the target and one outside but still visible. Out of six, that wasn't half bad.<p>

"Remind me never to piss you off."

Despite everything that had happened between them, she couldn't help a smile as she recognized his voice behind her. "Too late." She answered shortly as she removed the clip and put both parts back onto the counter. She slowly turned around. "Anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on an angry woman who's packing heat?"

"I'll have to remember that." He smiled before adding "What are you doing out here on your own?"

She met his gaze with a smile. "Reminiscing. You know Pete was the one who taught me how to use a gun? He said in life, you could either wait to be saved or save your own life and that he wanted me to be the kind of woman who could hold her own."

"He was a smart man."

She nodded. "Yes, he was."

"He did good. You can definitely hold your own."

"I don't know about that. I think I remember you having to save my life not so long ago." She looked down at her hands, embarrassed by the question that was burning her lips. "Who is she?"

"A friend."

She let out a sad chuckle. "You sleep with all your friends, Kozik?"She hadn't meant it as an accusation, but it hurt to see him with someone else.

"I can't have that conversation, Ella."

"Then what are you doing here Kozik?" she snapped. "Why are you here with me instead of being with your _friend?"_

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn't see you and…"

"You were wondering if I ended up in some dark corner with Jax Teller?" she interrupted. "There's nothing going on with Jax and there isn't going to be Kozik."

"I didn't ask."

"I know. But I still wanted to make it clear."

He ran his hand in his hair, showing his frustration "What do you want from me Ella? I got nothing to offer you. Nothing! I'm an ex-junkie outlaw with a rap sheet the size of my arm. The club? It's all I am. It's all I'll ever be!"

"I know." She simply replied

He raised sad eyes at her. "I see the way you look at Ray, Ella, the way you looked at Pete when we left Tacoma and I know that eventually I'm just going to disappoint you too, same way they did. You deserve better than some guy who's always going to let you down."

"Do I even get a say in this? What about what I want?"

He didn't reply straight away but when he did, his tone was definitive. "You're making it happen for yourself Ella. Moving to Seattle, getting out of this shit, it's the right call. Go. Meet a normal guy who'll give you what you want."

"You know, normal is overrated."

He chuckled but didn't respond.

"It's thirty seven minutes."

"What?"

"The drive from my place to the range. It's thirty seven minutes. That's how far from home I'm making it happen."

"You should go, Ella." He whispered before he walked away.

After composing herself ,Ella followed, walking back into the clubhouse. The crowd had somehow thinned and she spotted him straight away, his hand resting nonchalantly on that woman's shoulder.

She watched as Kozik whispered a few words in her ear and after considering what he said she just nodded and they left, Kozik hand's finding its way to the small of her back.

* * *

><p>Joan took out her keys as Kozik dismounted his bike and walked her to the stairs of her porch. She turned to him with a knowing smile. "You're not coming in, are you?"<p>

He buried his hands in his pocket. "I'm sorry Darlin'."

"It's okay." She reassured him, placing a hand on his arm. "I didn't think you would." She paused for a moment wondering if she should continue. "She's very pretty Kozik."

He sighted loudly."Shit. Am I really that fucking obvious?"

That made her laugh. "Well, I have an unfair advantage. I am a woman. We sense those things. Plus I was kind of paying attention. But if it makes you feel any better, I think I was the only one who did. Do you mind if I ask what you're not with her right now?"

He liked Joan. She was hot. She was kind and good natured and she was a firecracker in bed. She was easy to be with. His life would be so much simpler if he could just fall for her. But he couldn't. "It's complicated."

"Maybe it is. Maybe it's not and you just make it complicated. Keep it simple Kozik, trust me. Life's too short to have any regrets." She craned her neck to lay a soft kiss on his lips before stepping onto the stairs.

"Joan?"

She turned around and he nodded gratefully. "Thanks."

"Like I said. Must be the romantic in me."

* * *

><p>If there was ever one thing Ella missed from the ranch, it was her beloved power shower. Despite what some might like to think, she wasn't some prissy little thing, she could rough it up with the best of them when necessary but being unable to take a hot long shower after a night like this was cruel and unusual punishment. She missed the cleanliness of her old bathroom too. Despite scrubbing this one from floor to ceiling in a frenzy to rival any OCD, she still found the place dirty. Maybe she <em>was<em> being a prissy princess after all.

After leaving Pete's memorial, it had started raining and by the time she reached her neighborhood, it was pouring down. It had taken her more than half an hour to find a parking space, two blocks from her flat, and when she did she was seriously considering staying in the car until the rain eased up. But she was living in Washington and the rain could last hours. So in the end, Ella had had to leave her boxes behind and brave the rain. She had run home as fast as she could considering she was still wearing her high heels. By the time she'd reached the apartment, she was soaked and the only thing she wanted was a steaming shower. So when the shower refused to cooperate and the best she could get was lukewarm water and practically no pressure, her night had gone from crappy to real shitty in an instant.

Ella slid on her pajama bottoms and camisole topping it with a knitted cardigan to fend off the cold before unwrapping the towel around her hair and brushing it. When she was done, she made a loose braid and after applying moisturizer to her face and hands, she checked out the time on her phone. It was almost midnight. Knowing her, Gillian wouldn't be home for several more hours if at all. Her after work parties tended to last more than your average ones. She decided the best course of action was to get between the sheets and get some sleep.

She headed back into the living room to turn off the lights when she heard a loud knock on the door and froze. She knew it couldn't be Gillian , she was still at work. Besides, she had her keys. Aside from her father and Jax after she gave him her address tonight, no one knew where she lived. At least, not as far as she knew and considering the hour, it was doubtful that it would be a neighbor in sudden need of sugar.

"Who is this?"

"It's me. Kozik."

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, I know I'm leaving you hanging, but to my defense the chapter would have gotten too long and I did not want to cut through the next chapter but although I debated it, I did let you know who was at the door so that's got to count for something!<em>

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter, we're heading down the last arc of this story (finally), we should be done by chapter 30. For those who've been reading this story from the beginning, thanks ever so much for sticking with me even after the story went on hiatus for a while for the others, thanks for joining and I hope you're enjoying the ride._

_Please do leave me a quick note if you feel so inclined, they do motivate and delight me in equal measures. I am just a writer trying to get better and I am always looking for feedback so please know those mean a lot to me._


	20. Set fire to the rain

**CHAPTER XX**

– **Set fire to the rain –**

"Ella?"

She stood at the door, trying to decide what to do. He was honestly the last person she expected to show up at her door especially at that time of the night _after_ he left the clubhouse with that woman earlier.

"I know you're here, Ella."

With a sigh of irritation, she unlocked the door, opening it and there he was, standing sheepishly in her hallway, his hands playing with his sleeves as he did sometimes.

She welcomed him with a tired look. "Please tell me this isn't a booty call?"

He smiled at that. "You mind if I come in?"

"What are you doing here Kozik?"

"Please."

She rolled her eyes before waving her arm inside inviting him in. She stepped back, letting him in and closed the door behind him. He made his way inside, looking around, checking the surroundings like he was thinking of renting the damn place. When he was done with his inspection, he turned around to face her. "It's a nice place."

She crossed her arms incredulous. "It's a dump. Nice try though."

His face illuminated as a grin spread on his face, his eyes lingering on her. She followed his gaze from her face to her chest and realised her cardigan was open, giving him a nice view on her bra-less breasts through her camisole. She pulled her cardigan back to her chest and closed the belt before meeting his eyes with a questioning look. "What are you doing here?"

He took a beat to answer. "I'm sorry about Joan." He apologized, meeting her eyes. "It was shitty thing to do."

She was slightly taken aback by the apology but then again he seemed to be on a roll on the surprise front. "Yes. It was."

She waited for him to continue but when he didn't, she prompted him again. "What are you doing here Kozik?"

"How many times you're gonna ask me that?"

She huffed. "How many times is it going to take for you to answer? You _have_ to see that this is random right. You showing up here after what went down tonight? After what went down in Charming? I mean-, you can't keep doing this to me Kozik. This push and pull, it's just... It's exhausting! What are you _doing_ here?"

Again, she waited for an answer but he wasn't forthcoming. He just pored over her with his hypnotic stare as if he was wondering what his next move should be. She couldn't get a read on his expression and that annoyed her. It was past midnight, he was the one who'd showed up at her flat without a warning and now he was just staring at her in muted silence. Well _screw_ that.

"You know what? You should probably leave. Or stay. Whatever really. Do what you want, you seem to have_ that_ down. Now, between my godfather's memorial, you rubbing that slut in my face and the fucking shower that doesn't understand its own purpose, it's been a real crappy night, it's late and I'm going to bed!" She yelled before stomping out moving past him and walking into her bedroom slamming the door behind her.

What the hell was his problem? She took off her cardigan angrily and threw her blankets away, sliding between the cold sheets. She was so sick of trying to decipher him. Two hours ago, he was telling her to move on and next thing she knew he's standing at her doorstep looking all… well hot and bothered came to mind, but no, she couldn't let him suck her in again. Just no.

She closed her eyes, burying her face in her pillow trying to obliterate the man. She was all too aware that he was still in the flat since she hadn't heard the familiar creak of the front door opening. What she _did_ hear though was noise coming out of the bathroom as if he was rummaging through it. _What the hell? _

She got off her bed in a flash and walked out of the bedroom to see what was going on.

* * *

><p>He had removed his cut and hoodie and was presently standing in her shower, in a white fitted tee-shirt that hang onto his body as if it had been sawn on it, trying to unscrew the shower head. He heard her coming in and looked down at her as she stood at the threshold.<p>

Leaning against the door, she exhaled before speaking. "Kozik, what are you doing?"

"I'm checking out your shower?" he replied casually as if her question surprised him and him messing around her shower in the middle of the night was the most natural thing in the world.

"I can see that. Why?"

"You complained about it."

She crossed her arms and tried to hide a smile. "So what, you're a plumber now?"

He beamed at her. "Already told you babe, I'm a man of many talents. You got any tools around?"

"I don't think so."

He got out of the shower, washing his hands in her sink. "I can pick some up for you tomorrow. You can't live in a house with no tools."

She cocked an eyebrow at him and tittered. "So you're spending the night now?"

"Well you offered didn't you?" There it was, that self satisfied grin he'd given her the very first time they'd met. It seemed like so long ago. He dried his hands with the towel by the side of the sink and left the bathroom.

She just sighed as she followed him as he made his way towards the kitchen. "Kozik-"

"Are you hungry?" he casually asked, cutting her off.

"What?"

"Are you hungry?" he repeated "I can make us something."

Once again, she had to fight to suppress a smile. He was being so casual about his presence in her flat in the middle of the night it was irritating, yes. But it was also mildly amusing.

"You know, I don't usually let random guys fix my bathroom and cook for me."

He laughed heartily and she liked the sound of it. "Random? Babe, a couple of hours ago, I was the guy who saved your life."

"Yeah, and then that guy left the clubhouse with another woman and now he's here and I can't get rid of him."

He took a step toward her so that she was at arm's length and fixed his intense gaze on her. "You don't want to get rid of me, Ella."

"I don't?"

He shrugged with self importance. "I'm the guy who saved your life."

"You're also the guy who loves to pull the rug from under my feet." she pointed.

She paused, mentally running through her options, she could ask him to leave, or she could let it play out and see where he was going with all this and get some food in her empty stomach while she was at it. There was something she needed to make clear though. She's let him sit back and watch while she put herself out there twice now and both times she'd crashed and burned. It was his turn.

"I'm not kissing you again Kozik. "

He grinned. "Noted."

"Then fine." She conceded as she walked to the kitchen island and sat on a stool.

"Fine?"

"Fine, you can cook for me."

"Alright."

He opened the fridge which was almost empty and mentally ran its contents in his head, thinking of what he could come up with. After a moment reflection, he looked up at her. "I'm going to need bread, maple syrup and cinnamon. You got that?

She quickly ran through the list in her head and shot him an amused look. "Are you making French toast?"

"Yes, I am."

"Breakfast food for diner. What are you 12?"

He smirked. "First of all, it's way past midnight, so dinner time is over, second of all, your fridge looks like a war zone, you girls need some serious grocery shopping and finally do you want to be fed or not?"

Biting the inside of her mouth to prevent a laugh, she pointed to the cupboards. "Maple syrup and cinnamon are on the left cupboard, top shelf bread is over there on the counter."

"Thanks." He replied begrudgingly as he pulled two beers out of the fridge and held one out to her. "Beer?"

"Sure since its mine." She replied sternly, taking it.

He didn't engage, his eyes never leaving hers as he twisted the cap off and opened his beer, taking a big swig before setting it back on the counter. He walked back to the fridge taking out the ingredients he needed and got to work. For the next few minutes, he rummaged through drawers and cupboards to find everything he needed as she watched on.

She didn't offer to help, preferring to sit back and observe, quietly sipping her beer. He seemed so out of place in her kitchen and yet he looked perfectly at ease. It was almost surreal. After all, he was an badass biker who was currently making her French toast in the middle of the night. Yeah, surreal was definitely the right word.

She couldn't help but see how good he looked doing it too. She was still amazed at how her body reacted every time he laid his blue eyes on her. She could feel it down her spine, in her core. Ella wasn't very experienced. She had only had sex with one guy she dated in high school and he definitely didn't have that effect on her. They had sex because it was what you did and if she had been attracted to him, her body had never responded to him like it did with Kozik. But she told him she wasn't making the first move again and by god she was going to stick to that.

He put the food into two plates and she decided to break the silence. "Kozik?"

"Uhuh"

"Why are you here?"

He let out a deep breath as he set the plates to the island loudly. "You know, this is_ exactly_ why this will never work. You ask too many questions, you don't listen to shit I say, you always feel like you have to challenge me and you hate my club. You're just going to drive me crazy."

"Wow. So we should probably not start anything."

He took a stool facing her and sat. "Probably not. Now shut up and eat." he retorted dryly.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, the only sound in the room was the noise of cutlery against the plates. She had to admit, it tasted good. She loved French toast even if she didn't usually have it in the middle of the night. As they ate, she continued her silent observation of him as something dawned on her. She took a sip from her beer, biting her lip as she spoke. "Kozik?"

He dropped his fork loudly in his plate. "I swear Ella, if you ask me again, why I'm here…"

"How did you know where I lived?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have to. The minute she asked, she already knew the answer. She snorted "Of course!"

He straightened up on his stool. "You didn't really think that Ray would just let you move to some random place without having someone check it out first, did you?"

"Unbelievable!" She groaned with exasperation "Did you speak to my landlord too?"

Again, he might as well have yelled _Guilty as charged_ as he looked at her with a look of mock astonishment as if he didn't quite understand why she was getting her panties in a bunch. "Unfuckin' believable! you guys are just-, _This, _this is exactly what is wrong with you guys, you know that right? You think you can just control anyone and anything just because you can scare people into doing what you want! We're not all just puppets you guys can manipulate to do what you want!"

"You done?" he voiced calmly.

Now he was truly pissing her off. She stood up picking up their empty plates. "Next time Ray sends you to spy on me, stop by for coffee by any mean."

She turned her back to him, cutting off the conversation and walked to the sink. She dropped her plate and reached for the sponge to get a start on the dishes when she felt his hand on her arm. He spun her around in one smooth gesture and picked her up by the waist setting her up on the counter, moving in between her legs so she couldn't move.

"Kozik, what the -"

"Shut up." He ordered firmly as he leaned so close to her that their faces were inches apart. "If you expect me to be sorry for wanting to protect the things I care about, then you're going to be waiting a long time gorgeous because I'm not making any apologies for that. Ray didn't have to send me. If he hadn't, I would still have checked it out by myself because that's who I am, Ella. It's how I'm wired. I don't care how others do it. I'm _always _going to try and protect you from bad shit. Deal with it."

"I-"

"I'm not finished." He interrupted again, cupping her face in his hands, his eyes poring over hers with an intensity she hadn't seen yet. "You want to know why I'm here Ella? It's because I'm fucking crazy about you, okay? I'm crazy about you. But this thing with us... it's- it can't be casual. We do this, we're in. You're mine for the long haul, babe. That means getting right with your father, and you getting right with me being in the club. I'm not asking you to be a part of it, but you need to accept that it's a part of me and that's never going to change.

"Is that all?"

"No. You have to please, please try and not drive me completely fucking nuts." He concluded with a fond smile.

She smiled faintly as she tried to find her voice. "You trying to control me? I'm never going to like it Kozik, you have to know that. It's how _I'm_ wired.

"Anything else?"

"Yes. If I'm yours, you're mine. No exceptions, no loophole."

She knew he understood what she was asking. Exclusivity. No road pussy, no sweet butt in a dark corner of the clubhouse, her and her only.

"Ok."

"I mean it Kozik, I-"

"I said ok." He reassured firmly, voice full of affection.

"Ok."

He slid a hand from her face to gently grab the back of her neck. "You're so fucking beautiful." He murmured as he leaned into her, finally capturing her lips with his.

She closed her eyes, giving herself to the intense feeling of his lips on hers. He slowly ran his tongue on her lips and she opened her mouth giving him access. He clamped her hair in his hand, pulling her closer as her tongue tentatively met his. They had kissed before but this was different. This sealed the silent agreement they'd just made about their relationship, about their future. He thrust his tongue deeper into her mouth and she gripped his hair, fully welcoming it.

She felt his hand trace down her back until he reached her hips. Pushing the hem of her camisole, he ran his hand on the small of her back and a quiet moan escaped from her mouth as pulled her closer to the edge of the counter. With her legs spread either side of his body, she circled him, feeling his crotch against her stomach and felt her body tense, reacting to his hardness. He must have felt it too as he let go of her mouth, resting his forehead on hers.

"Ella, I want you so bad baby."

She didn't let him go any further. Those words in his mouth had electrified her, breaking down any defenses she still had up. She gripped his neck with one hand, taking over his mouth, letting him know how much she wanted this too. Reading her signal, he effortlessly lifted her from the counter letting her wrap her legs around his waist and started walking towards the bedroom, his mouth never leaving hers.

As they reached Ella's bed, he put her down on the mattress softly, his mouth finally letting go of her mouth to explore the rest of her body. He trailed kisses from her jaw line down to her neck, before trailing onto her exposed collarbone. He heard a sharp intake of breath as she arched her body, her hand still gripping his hair. He looked up and realised her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip, trying to stop any sound from coming out. He sat up on his knees, resting his body on his heels as he stared at her. She opened her eyes and found his smiling face.

As she did, he smoothed the hair around her face with his hand. "You okay?"

She nodded affirmatively but she was nervous, apprehensive. Although they had never discussed it, she knew Kozik was aware of her inexperience and she was almost embarrassed by it.

"Do you trust me, Ella?"

She stared intensely into his eyes for a moment and there wasn't a single hint of doubt in her voice when she answered "Yes. I do."

She caught the hem of her camisole between her fingers and slowly lifted it, her eyes never leaving Kozik's before finally taking it off. She watched as his gaze travelled to her perfectly flat stomach looking at her as if she were a work of art. She instinctively brought her arms together to hide herself but he stopped her, catching her arm in his strong hand. "Don't" he voiced firmly.

His gaze still on her, he let go of her arm and his hand travelled down her body, touching her shoulder, the side of her chest, trailing down her waist onto her stomach slowly caressing her before working its way back up to her chest. She took a deep breath in as he softly captured her nipple between his fingers sending waves of pleasure coursing through her body. Still trying to keep a semblance of control, she closed her fists on the pillows trying to focus on his eyes. After caressing her for a few minutes, his hand left her breast and reached under her pajamas making its way to her panties and sliding them off her body. He slowly ran his hand up her legs, taking his time letting her get used to the sensation before moving up. She finally parted her legs allowing him access as his fingers found her core and Ella was overwhelmed by a new sensation. Something she had never felt before. She felt herself completely letting go.

Kozik felt it too. It was all over her face, in the way she moved under him, rubbing her knee up his leg, saying his name as his fingers explored her. She was offering herself to him completely, trusting him with everything she held precious.

It was as if there was no more barrier between them. There was no club business to handle, no danger to fend off, and there was no one to interrupt. It wasn't about Ray, Nell or Pete, it wasn't about the Mayans and Juan Ortega, it wasn't about Jax or Joan. For the first time, it was just about the two of them, together, finally.

From the moment Kozik had met Ella on the side of the road, he had always felt something for her. At first, he had been subjugated by her looks, then he had been intrigued and charmed by the opinionated, stubborn woman he was getting to know. He had pissed off when he'd found out who she was, he was sad for her when she lost her mother, he'd been scared when Juan Ortega went after her, he'd been empathetic when she lost her shit in Oregon allowing him to see how vulnerable she was and then proud when she chinned up and patched him up in that seedy bathroom. Since that first day, there was no doubt that he had been through a lot of feelings where Ella Strickland was concerned. But from the minute she'd kissed him in that bathroom, his world had shifted without him even realizing it.

He had tried again and again to fight it for all the right reasons. But somehow, the more he came up with reasons why he shouldn't be with her, the more he realised that she was all he wanted. What Joan had told him about regret had only finished convincing him. He finally understood why some people were ready to risk it all for love. Because he was doing just that now and at that moment he didn't care as long as he had Ella.

"Kozik." She repeated like a mantra, her voice barely above the whisper.

His need for her was almost unbearable now. . She felt amazing around his fingers but he wanted to be inside her so badly it almost hurt. He felt her move faster, encouraging him to match her pace and knew she was getting close. He bent over her capturing her mouth in his as he accelerated his rhythm catching her increased moans in his mouth. She clawed at his back, her fingers digging into the fabric of his tee-shirt as he felt her body tense. She cried out his name and buried her head in his chest as she clenched, her core pulsating wildly around his fingers.

They remained still for a moment until he felt her kissing his jaw line quietly whispering against his skin.

"I want you inside me."

She raised her eyes to meet his before sliding her hand down to his crotch and caressing him through his jeans.

He buried his head in her shoulder kissing her collarbone. "Shit, Ella."

She squeezed his hardness and he let out a guttural moan. He was ready. He was more than ready. And she had just given him confirmation that she wanted this as much as he did. He sat up and quickly lifted his tee-shirt throwing it across the room before undoing his belt and yanking off his jeans and boxers as she looked on. Before throwing the jeans away the same way he did his tee shirt, he produced a condom from his back pocket.

"Let me." She said holding out her hand.

He obliged and she sat up on her knees, mirroring his position as she teared up the foil and slowly slid the protection on him When she was done, she ran her hands on his chest, before kissing his chest, running her lips on his smooth skin. He clenched his hand in her hair fighting to keep control but when he felt her slightly biting his collarbone, he lost it. He couldn't wait any longer, he had to feel her, taste her, have her. She had to be his. He grabbed her hips, drawing her closer and he slid her legs around him as she guided him inside her, ready for him.

He buried himself inside her closing his eyes as her fingers dig into his back. They both stilled for a moment, overwhelmed by the moment. After a while, he felt her lean back and start rocking on him. He put his hands on her hips, accompanying each movement, letting her set the pace again. God, she felt so good, so tight around him. He had sex with a lot of women but this was something else. There was an intimacy to what they were doing that he had never shared with anyone else. "Ella, baby."

She didn't reply but he could hear quiet moans escaping her, a sexy sound that he had never heard before, a sound that was threatening to send him over the edge very quickly.

He had to move or he was going to come. He lifted her up and laid her on her back, burying himself deeper into her as he took over. He held tight as he thrust into her encouraged by her moans which had gotten louder.

"Please…don't stop, please."

He knew she was getting close and closed his hand around her breast, toying with her nipple as he sunk in and out of her. Just as he thought he wouldn't be able to hold on anymore, he felt her nails dig deep into his back as she threw her head back, convulsing under him as she called out his name again. It was the best sound he'd ever heard and all he needed to send him spinning. He slammed into her a couple of times and let go, gasping as he poured himself into her. "I love you baby, I love you."

She didn't reply and they laid like this in silence for a long time until he kissed her hair and got up on his elbows. "Are you alright?"

She smiled lazily, her hand reaching for his cheek. "Yes, I'm great. I love you too, Kozik."

_**Happy new year everyone! Hope 2014 brings you all loads of joy and happiness! So I know this chapter is a long time coming but like I said to a few of you in PMs my computer died on me which is never good on Christmas Month and between that and the holiday madness it took me this long to update.**_

_**I have to say that I had most of this chapter ready for weeks, but the love scene took ages to come through for some reason… guess I have been writing Ella and Kozik's story for so long, now that we are finally here I wanted to do it justice!**_

_**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and I really hope you will let me know your thoughts! **_


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